Tuesday, June 15, 2021

Even a Bank Teller Knows Better

Is another woman trying to steal Hick's heart? Like a lake dweller stealing his lot by buying property that doesn't belong to the seller?  Or in this case, is a woman trying to steal Hick's heart by way of a journey through his stomach?
 
Women should know better! You can't go around feeding other women's husband's all willy-nilly! Even a bank teller knows to ASK before offering a sweet treat to child. Grown men are remarkably similar to children when it comes to FREE FOOD!

I had just served Hick what he declared was a delicious supper. Spicy BBQ pulled pork on a tortilla with shredded cheddar, diced onion, and sour cream. Then out of the blue he said,

"My buddy's wife made a GREAT ham salad at the auction the other night."

"Ham salad?"

"Yeah. She used that FREE ham we got from the Ponytail Guy."

"I still have half of that ham in the freezer. I guess I could thaw it out. Add shredded cheese, mayo, and pickles. That should just about do it. Do you want onions in it?"

"Yeah. Onions would be good."

"Any special rolls, or just bread?"

"I'll eat it on bread."

Huh. As I recall, I have never served Hick ham salad. I don't know if Buddy's Wife packed a cooler for the auction, or if she is wife of the auction owner and sells food there. Or maybe she was giving out FREE samples to get men hooked, planning to sell them next time. I didn't ask Hick, lest he reveal more food he had been given by strange women.

The best ham salad was served on our school lunch trays during the '70s! We had it on Wednesdays, which was Chili or Soup Day. You got a bowl of chili, and two half-sandwiches cut in a triangle shape. That intrigued me, because at home, our sandwich halves were cut in rectangle shapes. Anyhoo... one sandwich was ham salad, and one was peanut butter with syrup. Or sorghum. Something sticky and sweet. 
 
I always traded my peanut butter for ham salad. It was an easy trade! Also on the tray was SPINACH! I gave it away, no trade necessary! Some kids loved that spinach. They drenched it with vinegar from the little glass cruets that looked like pitchers. You'd never see something like that sitting on the lunch tables these days!

Anyhoo... I'll have to dice my leftover FREE ham. I don't have a grinder. My mom did. She'd stick it to the kitchen counter with its suction cup feet, and grind the leftover Sunday roast. Combined with Miracle Whip and relish or diced sweet pickles, it was quite tasty. But she didn't go serving it up to other women's husbands...

8 comments:

  1. Somebody is after your man! What tips can you give that skank so she's sure to succeed?

    Hurry. She might lose interest...

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    Replies
    1. Heh, heh! I guess she needs to keep her smart mouth shut, except for asking "How high?" when he tells her to jump. Also, recognize hot dogs as a major food group.

      Sseing as how she already HAS a husband, I can't fathom why she would want ANOTHER ONE!

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  2. Well at least he isn't hiding the fact that he eats elsewhere, from other women's kitchens. My "ham salad" meal is usually thick slices of ham on the plate next to a tossed green salad. With maybe a hard boiled egg on the plate too.

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    Replies
    1. That is a HOLIDAY meal for us! Substituting 7 Layer Salad, and Deviled Eggs.

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  3. I swear the woman who serves us at the casino cafe has a crush on my guy. She piles it on when she makes his Chicken Philly and she cannot take her eyes off him. She gives me the evil eye. We wives know, don't we, Val?

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    Replies
    1. Yes, we have finely honed our STEALDAR to detect such man-stealers. It probably started developing back in the Stone Age. "Get your head away from my man's club, you hussy! He won't be dragging you into MY cave!"

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  4. Since HeWho can no longer eat ham (sodium) I would know right away from is elevated blood pressure and swollen extremities if someone was after my man. As annoying as he is, he is mine and I would gut the slut!

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    Replies
    1. Any woman who bloats your man shall rue the day!

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