For Real This Time?

Thevictorians continue to chase the carrot at the end of the stick. That carrot being the completed sale of Bargain House. Right now we feel like three Charlie Browns, running to kick that football held by The Buyer, Lucy.

Let's see... when we last discussed Bargain House, our Realtor Guy had issued an ultimatum to The Buyer's Realtor. It was Friday evening, April 17. If we didn't have a closing date and time by Friday, April 24, the deal was off.

After Hick had gone to bed, he got a text from Realtor Guy saying that The Buyer's Realtor thought they would be ready on Monday or Tuesday. But he was willing to give them until Thursday. Well. That raised more questions. Ready to actually close? Or ready to give us an appointment date and time for closing? How were they going to get a closing date set on Monday, with financial institutions closed over the weekend? And you can't just call them on Monday, and say, "We want a closing appointment for today."

It's like we keep getting updates with no real information. That's not our Realtor Guy's fault. He can only tell us what THEY tell him. Monday came and went, with no further communication. Just as we expected. Until Hick checked his phone at 5:30 a.m. Tuesday, and saw a text from our Realtor Guy at 9:30 Monday night.

"Sorry for the late text. I just talked to The Buyer's Realtor a couple hours ago. He said he thinks the financial institution will be ready to close tomorrow [Tuesday]. The Buyer should be able to sign then, too. I'll have to talk to [redacted] at the title company to get a time."

"Wait! So that means TODAY? We're closing TODAY? But we don't have a time yet? How can that be? And what does it mean about the buyer? There's no closing until The Buyer actually BUYS the house! So it does no good if we show up to sign and he doesn't!"

"I don't know, Val. I'm just reading what he sent me."

"So I'm supposed to get ready and sit around and wait to see if we get a time? Then you'll have to come get me, and we go pick up The Pony? That seems like really short notice. If you take the Acadia today, I can pick up The Pony and meet you in town so you don't have to come all the way out here."

"Like I said, I don't know. Maybe it won't be today. Maybe The Buyer works, and will have to get a time when he can get there. I'm going to be mowing yards in town. I'll let you know if I hear anything."

I called The Pony at 8:00, to be ready and on-call in case we had to get to the closing. "Dad thinks he probably won't hear anything until after 9:00, and that he has things to do until 10:00. But it COULD be any time after that. So I guess just be prepared."

I took my meds early. Took a shower early. Then settled down to the business of actively waiting. At 10:43, I got a text from Hick saying we would close on Wednesday morning.

We'll see...

Of course this comes after I paid the three utility bills, and the day after Hick took the insurance payment for the next six months. I would have paid them a couple weeks  earlier if I knew The Universe would use that inconvenience to kick this closing into action.

Hick said he's NOT mowing the yard at Bargain House. The Buyer can do that himself!

Who You Gonna Call? Hick Fixer.

Hick seems to be on-call 24/7/365. It's not part of his just-over-$300 a month "job" with the senior apartments. The other guy was never on call like that. He basically just collected the rent every month, for the four apartments that were occupied at the time. For the same money Hick started at, and worked the first year. Nobody would have thought to call HIM for the most recent problem.

"My friend who runs the kitchen called and said there was water dripping from the ceiling. I went by, and found out it was a water heater leaking up in one of the apartments. So we had to get a new water heater. I took out the ceiling tiles in the kitchen. Now I have to get new ones and put them up. 

I told my friend, 'Maybe I should just leave it like it is. Because of that guy with the city, who complained that I shouldn't be doing any work on this building, because I'm not a licensed contractor.' She said, 'Now let's not be too strict about this. Maybe you should go ahead and fix it, and see if he complains. Then you can say you are sorry.' I told her, 'I can say that since it was OUR water heater that caused the problem for HIS kitchen, I thought I was the one responsible for fixing it.' She said that sounded like a good plan."

"You'll get paid for doing all that work, right? Other than just your salary?"

"Oh, yeah. I'll get my contractor's fee."

Heh, heh. Even though he's not a licensed contractor. Hick is paid by the board of the nonprofit organization running the apartments, not by the city, which technically owns the building, but leases it to the nonprofit for a dollar.

Procuring Drugs Has Become More Difficult

I used my pharmacy's automated system to call in two prescription refills on Friday morning. It was before 8:00. Both of them had refills remaining, so I believed the message that told me they would be ready after 11:00. I get a text once they are done and ready for pickup. When I hadn't received that text by 2:00, I called the pharmacy. 

"Just checking to see if my prescriptions are ready."

"Let me see... No. We are running behind. Our automatic pill-counting machine is down, so it's taking us extra time. I can have your prescriptions ready in about an hour."

"Yes. That will be fine. It will take me that long before I'm in town. Thank you."

In fact, it was only a speedy 50 minutes before I got the text. I was able to pick up my drugs with no problem at their drive-thru window.

Meanwhile, Hick was having his own drug-seeking issue. He has glaucoma, and had just been to the eye doctor on Wednesday for a regular appointment. Hick came home on Friday evening, and immediately thrust his phone into my face.

"I can't get my eye drops at my pharmacy unless I go to this link and update my payment information."

"That sounds sketchy. I don't know about that..."

"Here. Look at it."

"Is that even their website? Maybe it's a scam."

"The gal in the pharmacy sent it to me. I told her no, I'll just pay for it here when it comes in. She said they cain't do that. I'd have to drive to the city to pick it up if I wanted to pay for it in person. I have to go to this link and update it. They they'll send my eye drops here to my pharmacy."

"That's crazy! Let me see what it looks like. Well. It says it's your pharmacy in the URL. The page looks official. It wants your birthdate. That seems sketchy! I guess I'll put it in. Since you got this from the gal at your pharmacy. Okay. Now it wants a type of payment. I guess we'll use the debit card. Read me your numbers..."

I had all the info entered. Then when I hit the DONE button, the screen stalled.

"Here. Take your phone outside, and maybe it will go."

Hick wandered around on the back porch. Then went to the front porch. Then came back in.

"It got this message at the top, in red."

SOMETHING WENT WRONG. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

"When do you need this medicine?"

"It's no hurry. Just by Monday."

"Well, since they have to SEND IT FROM THE CITY, I guess we'll have to try this again tomorrow or Sunday. So the info will be in Monday, for them to send your medicine down here."

We tried on Saturday morning before 6:00, and the info went through. Of course we had to enter it all again.

These newfangled ways are almost harder than when an old granny-lady foraged in the woods for roots and herbs to grind with a mortar and pestle.

Walking Papers Might Be in Order

Hick talked to Realtor Guy on the phone Friday. Realtor Guy still had no new information. He said he had sent an email to The Buyer's Realtor earlier in the day, and was supposed to hear something by that evening. I don't know if he actually did, or not.

Hick had called to tell Realtor Guy that the work on the Bargain House windows was completely finished. It cost us another $200, because one of the windows was a different size, and needed other parts than the ones that worked for the other two windows. Hick said he will also get a bill for the second "house call" for the repairs. But that the windows are done.

Realtor Guy sent Hick a message later, thanking him for being patient, and acting in a professional manner to complete his part of the agreement for the contract on Bargain House. He also said that he had told The Buyer's Realtor that he expects a closing date and time by the end of the day Friday, April 25. If there is no closing date scheduled by then, 

WE ARE WALKING! The deal is off!

Thevictorian triumvirate agrees with this tactic. Bargain House has been tied up now, waiting on a closing date, since March 8. It needs to go back on the market if The Buyer and his so-called realtor can't get it together. As The Pony says, the families with school-age kids who are looking to buy a house will be ready to view properties and get a deal done over the next few months. 

We're not here to hold a house in lay-a-way for a wishy-washy buyer and incompetent realtor.

Hick Gets a Diagnosis Off His Chest

After 18 days of waiting to find out what his nurse practitioner saw in his chest x-ray, Hick finally got an answer. It came from a cardiologist on Thursday. 

"The pressure on my spine is from arthritis. She says I have some blockage in some coronary arteries. That it's not unusual for a man my age, with diabetes and high blood pressure. But she doesn't want to okay me for the surgery until I have a stress test and some other test. She doesn't think there will be time to have that done by next Friday's surgery date. So I'll tell my NP's office to have the surgery re-scheduled."

Which they did, and Hick's surgery will now be in August. He doesn't have a date yet for the stress test or whatever else. This is Hick's rendition from his conversation with the cardiologist. I'm hoping it's fairly accurate. Hick is sometimes an unreliable narrator!

Turns out the MRI that Hick has been harping about, trying so hard to get scheduled, was actually a CT Scan all along! You'd think he might have let that slip at least once, in the 18 days he's been talking about it. But no. He called me after the cardiologist appointment, referring to a CT Scan, and I had to ask if he'd had some other test. Nope.

Anyhoo... we don't feel too concerned about the cardiologist's findings. We'll wait (who knows how long!) to see what the stress test reveals.

House Hold Update

We are still waiting for a closing date for the sale of Bargain House! It seems like this has taken forever. The original closing date was April 6, which was one month after we signed the contract (March 8), which was 16 days after the listing went up.

WHY is this sale still on hold? Hick communicates regularly with our Realtor Guy. Who only knows what The Buyer's realtor tells him. 

At the risk of being a pest, Hick sent a text on Tuesday night, asking Realtor Guy if the house is sold or not. Should we open up the listing? In case this sale doesn't go through?

Realtor Guy replied on Wednesday morning that he was expecting a reply from The Buyer's Realtor later that day. But that if the deal continues to stall with no explanation, we might want to back out of it.

Here's the latest, from Wednesday (April 15) afternoon. Realtor Guy sent Hick a copy/paste of the message he got from The Buyer's Realtor. It went a little something like this:

"The Buyer still wants the house. His financial institution has approved his loan for the house. We are waiting on HUD to approve the contract."

Well. That certainly clears it up, doesn't it? What in the Not-Heaven does that mean??? Will HUD have to send an inspector or an appraiser? Or just look over the contract? It's a federal entity, you know. So nobody can guess how long this process might take.

Meanwhile, it seems like we've sold Bargain House. Right?

Val Should Have Tossed Some Smelling Salts into Her Cart

I made an unscheduled trip to Country Mart on Tuesday. It couldn't wait until Errand Day on Thursday, because I needed SLAW. Hick was grilling some sausage patties (or as I call them: deconstructed bratwursts) that evening, and slaw goes great with them. Besides, I could get my scratchers out of the two machines at the front of the store, rather than my daily trip to the Gas Station Chicken Store.

First I went down the soda aisle, and saw that Hick's Diet Mountain Dew was still on sale 2 for $9.00 on the six-pack bottles. I put two on the side of my cart and continued down and across the back aisle. The cookies are there, and Hick has bemoaned a lack of treats since he finished the Easter cheesecake, and took his bag of shortbread cookies and his snack pies to "work" at the SUS2.5. I got him some strawberry wafer cookies, and a pack of generic iced oatmeal cookies.

The next stop was the produce section, where I picked up a 3-lb bag of Vidalia-style onions, and then the slaw. It was the 44-oz container, for $8.99, which is expensive for slaw, but more economical than the 14-oz container for $3.99. Slaw does not go to waste at our house.

All that was left were the scratchers. I thumbed my nose at protocol, and wheeled my cart with groceries down an empty checkout lane to get my tickets before getting in line to pay for the food. I scanned in my winners at the right side machine, and was picking my tickets when a man walked up to the left machine. I had to wait a couple minutes for him to finish. Which I did politely, behind him by the empty checkouts, not breathing down his neck and sighing heavily.

He finished and went into the aisles, and I got my tickets and went towards the only open checkout. A man was paying, and a woman with a full beeper cart was waiting. As I was turning my cart to get into the line, here comes the Ticket Buyer. He was probably early 40s, in navy blue track pants with a double white stripe, and a white shirt, black hair in a short cut.

"Go ahead." He only had a couple things in his hands.

"No, you can."

"I'm okay." 

I was moving on back before turning my cart into the line when another man walked up. He was 50-ish, in jeans, kind of balding.

"Oh, you can go in front of me."

"Are you sure? I don't have to."

"It's fine. Both of you have less than I do."

Baldy got in line, and I turned in behind him.

"I only need one item."

"I would, too, if it wasn't for my husband, heh, heh!"

Another checker girl came up and opened the next line. She called for people she could help. I told Baldy to go ahead. He was wanting a can of Skoal. Then another lady with a full cart came up and hurriedly got into that line. Not that I cared. 

The beeper cart lady paid, and was having her groceries put into her beeper cart. They called a stockboy up front to help her load them outside. Ticket Buyer moved up. He only had a couple things, no cart. He paid in cash. The checker had trouble counting his change out of the tray, then handed it to him. 

I had my groceries already on the conveyor. I waited for Checker to scan my two sodas on the side of the cart. She did, and rang up my stuff, and put it in bags. Ticket Buyer was still standing at the end of the conveyor, counting his money. I wished he would do that somewhere else, so I could move up to the card-reader. THEN he asked Checker something, and counted out more money and handed it to her. Huh. He must have forgotten something. Maybe he also got some tobacco product while I wasn't paying attention.

"There you go! You're done." Checker brought my bags up over the conveyor, and put them in my cart.

"Oh. No. I still have to move up to pay!"

"No you don't!

That's when it dawned on me. TICKET BUYER HAD PAID FOR MY GROCERIES! He turned and smiled.

"Oh, that's so nice! You didn't have to do that. Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome." He turned to walk out.

"Good luck on your tickets!"

"Thanks."

I really hope he won something. I barely won money back. But then, I was ahead $28 and change, from the price of my groceries he paid for. I'd give you the exact amount, but I didn't get the receipt, heh, heh!

There IS hope for humanity! I plan to contribute by paying for somebody's groceries. I'd like it to be for somebody elderly, or maybe a harried mom, or an old guy buying ice cream and chips and beer. We'll see who checks out before or after me in the future. 

I'll have to be careful not to insult anybody. Some people have too much pride. 

Not this old Val!

Remember Hick's Wrecked Trailer?

Since the borrower's relative wrecked Hick's trailer a while back, that trailer has been sitting at the top of the BARn field. Originally, Hick was going to let the borrower junk it out to help pay back the debt. He's an old guy, though, and he and Hick reached a payoff agreement. Yet the trailer still sits.

That's from back in December. The trees are now leafed out, and grass grows in the field. Hick mows around the trailer. I'd given up asking what he was going to do with it. It's not pull-able. A tow truck brought it out here (paid by Hick) after the accident. There's still scrap metal to be had.

Tuesday morning, Hick said matter-of-factly:

"My boss from the senior apartments is coming out to get my wrecked trailer today."

"How's that? And why? What's he going to do with it? He can't just pull it away."

"I'm coming home, and we're going to load it on his trailer. I'll use the tractor to lift it up and put it on his trailer. He needs one of the axles off of it."

"Is it still good? I thought the axles were wrecked, too."

"One of them might be okay."

Well. What could possibly go wrong? Hick on a tractor, lifting a wrecked trailer onto a working trailer. I guess the other trailer can handle it. They haul cars on trailers like this. I'm sure a trailer weighs less than a car.

The question I SHOULD have asked is: "Will your boss be paying you for this trailer?" Because, you know, WE bought Hick's new trailer, which cost a few hundred dollars more than we got for the wrecked one. I don't mind if he gives it away. But if there's money coming in, that should go into the household fund that bought the new trailer. Not into Hick's pocket, as HIS money!

Val Gets Petty With It

Hick went to the annual dinner at our credit union on Saturday evening. It wasn't actually AT the credit union itself. They had it catered elsewhere. I used to go, but I don't like crowds much. The old venue had us crammed in like sardines, sitting on folding chairs, with buffet tables set up to serve yourself. The thought of that lately is not something I would want to subject myself to. We used to have a good time with my sister and her husband the ex-mayor. The Pony even went a couple years.

Anyhoo... since the credit union stopped sending out quarterly statements in favor of online accounts, we do not get the newsletter promoting this dinner. Hick would go anyway, for the free meal, you know, and socializing. But even more importantly, attendees can get a 1 percent bump-up in interest on a CD if they bring the program from that evening into the office within four months. That can be a lot of money if you have a sizeable CD.

Anyhoo... Hick went to the dinner, even though we didn't know the menu, since it wasn't on the website. Which I had checked to see if they were open Good Friday, to deposit The Pony's house payment, and saw that it was too late to RSVP for the dinner. Hick said, "They'll let me eat. I'm going anyway. They're not going to turn me away!" Thankfully, when he took The Pony's checks on Monday, he said he'd like to go, and they put his name down for the dinner.

Saturday evening, I got a call from Hick.

"I'm leaving now. I have the program to use for the interest. I'm bringing you some pulled pork and brisket."

"Ooh! That'll be good!"

Hick came in the kitchen door and opened up the container to show me. YUM! I immediately thought of how this would make three meals for me, once I made some sides to go with it. And a meal for Hick on Sunday night. He already had plans to go to a special dinner at the senior center on Monday evening.

Doesn't that look good? Pulled pork and brisket. Smoked, no sauce. Here's another view of the same container:

"That's good. You can have some for your supper tomorrow night. Instead of bacon sandwiches from the leftover bacon.

"I'm taking it in my lunch."

"What? You're not taking that for HOS, are you?"

[HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) has been working in one of Hick's auxiliary storage units, selling Hick's stuff for a percentage of the sale. Hick picks him up on the way, and takes lunch for him as well. It's usually Hot Pockets and chips, but I've been making ham and cheese sandwiches for them with the Easter ham. I don't begrudge HOS a sandwich. It's as easy to make two sandwiches as one.

I DO, however begrudge HOS and Hick this bounty (that Hick said he was bringing home for ME) to eat for their working lunch. Hick is such a carnivore. I could imagine this bounty disappearing before my very eyes.]

"Yeah. I take him lunch."

"When you called, you said you were bringing it to ME."

"Val. There's way more than plenty for everyone."

I beg to differ. Hick has been caught with a towering bowl of vegetable beef soup, with an entire shredded arm roast, a few assorted vegetables, and no "juice." I do not trust him with a container of smoked meats!

Yes. I'm being petty. Don't say you're bringing me food, and then say you're taking it for two lunches! It would have been fine if he'd said, "I'm bringing home meat for lunch for me and HOS, and you can have some." Then I know its purpose, and am happy to get a taste. 

Anyhoo... Hick set the container on the cutting block. I said I'd get some out for my supper, and put it away. What I did was take half the meat for me, and left half in the container for Hick.

"Okay! I've got mine in a different container. I took half, and left you half."

That's fair enough, right? Hick brought it for me, and I only took half! How generous I am! 

Anyhoo... Sunday morning, I heard Hick in the kitchen, filling his bag with lunch to take to his SUS2.5. I figured he was just taking the container, and probably putting some bread into baggies, or taking the rest of a loaf. I had set out mini bags of chips for each of them. Hick had already taken a bag of cookies that I'd bought him for home snacks.

Imagine my surprise when I opened FRIG II later, and saw Hick's container of meat still there. I asked him when he got home.

"Why didn't you take that meat for you and HOS?"

"Oh, I just decided I'd take the Hot Pockets."

Yeah. So he could have all that meat himself for supper. Which he did. With four slices of bread. Meanwhile, I had eaten a slice of the brisket on Saturday night, and made super nachos with some pulled pork on Sunday night. And will cut up the brisket and use the remaining pulled pork on nachos for Monday night.

What's good for the gander is better for the goose.

Monkey Wrenches Left and Right

We still don't have a closing date for the sale of Bargain House. Monday will be one week past the original closing date. Maybe Hick can get some information from Realtor Guy then.

Now the situation has become extra irritating. The water bill is due on April 15th. We usually get the bill around the 2-5, and I mail it. The city doesn't process the payments until the 15th. Hick had told me not to pay this one, because, you know, the closing was April 6. 

Last time we paid the water bill on time, for the Double Hovel, the title company also subtracted the water bill from our proceeds at closing. So we paid double, and had to go to the city with the closing papers to eventually get reimbursed. It was a pain. Now Hick will go in person on Monday, the 13th, to pay that water bill. It will likely result in a double payment again.

Also, the insurance on Bargain House is due April 21. If we don't get a closing date before that deadline, Hick will go pay that bill in person as well. Then after we finally have the closing, he'll have to go back and start the process of canceling the policy and getting a refund for six months of insurance.

It's still another week or so before the gas and electric bills are posted. They are usually due around the first of the next month. So we might be able to wait on those, depending on a closing date.

It's not that these are large amounts of money. They are loose ends that need tying. It's a pain for my record-keeping. And The Pony pays half, and is entitled to half the refunds. What should have been a smooth transition is now a pain in the rumpus.

In other news, Hick had his MRI on Thursday afternoon. The results were in his Nurse Practitioner's office on Friday, when Hick stopped by for a regular weekly shot. Of course his NP wasn't there. He asked if one of the other doctors at the practice could read the MRI results. No. But one of the nurses took a look at the radiologist's report. 

The nurse said she wasn't sure what it meant. Of course she was trying to do Hick a favor, but it's not really her job to interpret test results. She said it showed neither pneumonia nor a collapsed lung. But something was pressing on Hick's upper spine. 

"She said the MRI shows nothing wrong with my lungs, but some compressed area on my upper spine."

Those are Hick's words from a nurse's words from a written report and image. So who knows WHAT that might be... Maybe it's "just" a disc problem like Hick had with his lower back.

Hick will talk to his NP about it at an appointment he has on Thursday.

Meanwhile, it's hurry up and wait for both situations.

Harem's Gonna Harem

It was Friday night at 6:45, so of course Hick got a call from his harem. I could only hear one side of the conversation. I actually heard a harem voice, because Hick's phone is so loud, but I couldn't make out the words.

"You can get the key out of the key box. The number is XXXX. That'll open it so you can get out the key."

"Blabbety blabbety blab blab blab. Blabbety blabbety blab."

"[REDACTED 1] on the first floor has a key. In Apartment 1. Well. [REDACTED 2] knows how to get in. She should be back from church pretty soon. No. You're fine. It's just--"

"Blabbedy blabbety blab. Blabbety blab."

"There's [REDACTED 3]. You know her, don't you? She can go down and get the key to let you in. She's on third floor. That's a lot easier than me driving all the way to town from way out here to let you in."

"Blabbety blabbety blab."

"It's okay. Just go knock on her door and she'll get you in. I'll call her and tell her. Okay. Talk to you later."

I was in the kitchen, waiting to hear about the resolution. I did NOT hear Hick making a phone call. 

"Should some of these people even be living alone? Aren't you going to call [REDACTED 3]?"

"Yeah. I'm calling her now. It's my drunk lady who's locked out."

"Huh. Such a shame she's in trouble with the police, or she could call them and they could come use the key box to let her in!"

"Yeah. But [REDACTED 3] will do it."

Hick made the call and explained the situation. Ten or fifteen minutes later, [REDACTED 3] called Hick. He thanked her. They had a brief exchange. Then Hick told me...

"Her door was already unlocked!"

"What in the Not-Heaven! I bet she was just trying to lure you over there! On a Friday night! Since it seemed like she was not very receptive to your several solutions, and kept wanting YOU to come let her in. Maybe her door wasn't locked at all! Or maybe she went and got the key herself."

"I don't know. But she got in."

Hick's harem does not seem to understand boundaries...

The Universe Tries to Get Hick in Trouble

Hick normally doesn't need any help getting himself in trouble. Thursday evening, The Universe gave him an assist. 

I knew that Hick was spending the morning working in the more remote nowhere of former Backcreek Neighbors Nick and Bev's house. Then he would be at his SUS2.5 puttering around until his long-awaited MRI at 3:30. I was off running errands with The Pony, and returned home at 4:30.

I was hoping for some kind of update on the MRI. The technician is not supposed to tell you anything. But we had a friend who worked in the radiology department of a local hospital, who told us The Pony had pneumonia when he was four. Good thing! Doctors had him seeing a cardiologist because he tired out so easily, and was listless, and didn't even want to play at Chuck E. Cheese. With her input, we were able to advocate for The Pony to get treatment for pneumonia, though we kept the cardiologist appointment, and heart issues were ruled out.

Anyhoo... I didn't hear anything from Hick. He's usually home by 5:00. I thought he might have gone back to his SUS2.5 after the MRI. Maybe he had a customer he was meeting. His phone doesn't work (for me) from inside his SUS2.5. I sat down to scratch my lottery tickets. 5:00 came and went. No Hick. No text or call. Maybe the MRI appointment ran late.

By 5:30, I was getting worried. It shouldn't take that much longer, even with a late appointment. Surely Hick would have let me know. He must be on the way, thinking he wasn't all that late to warrant communication.

By 6:00, I couldn't stand not-knowing. What if they saw something on the MRI, and were rushing around trying to get Hick admitted to the hospital! It had been such a long time getting that appointment. Maybe Hick's conditioned had worsened!

I didn't want to bother Hick if he was not able to use his phone. But I couldn't take the suspense. I called him at 6:05.

"Where are you?"

"Didn't you get the text?"

"NO! I didn't get any text!"

"I sent one around 5:00. I went by to pick up my tractor from HOS [Hick's Oldest Son]. We brought it home, and now I'm taking HOS back. We're about halfway to his place."

"Oh. Okay. See you later."

I don't like to talk to Hick while he's driving, because HOS's roads are even more country than ours, and Hick is not the best driver even when he's not distracted. I checked my phone again. Nope. The last text I had from Hick was 11:30 a.m., when he had acknowledged the text I sent him at 10:45, telling him to use the debit card to pay for the MRI.

Huh. Hick SAID he sent me a text. But maybe he forgot to actually hit SEND. Or maybe he sent it to the wrong person. He'd better not be making this up, just to stay out of trouble!

When Hick got home just before 7:00, he immediately got out his phone to show me. 

"See? I sent it at 5:05! Telling you that we brought the tractor, and I was taking HOS home."

"I see it there. But it doesn't say DELIVERED. Mine either says DELIVERED, or it says READ after the person opens it."

"Mine don't do that. It changes color."

"Well. I guess you sent it. But I didn't get it!"

"I wondered why you didn't answer me back like you usually do."

Hick is off the hook for this one. The Universe is a pot-stirrer!

No, I Didn't Forget

Time once again to show the holiday feast for Thevictorians. We had our Easter Dinner on Good Friday, to accommodate Hick's greedy busy sales schedule at his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5). There's nothing new. Same old foods. But who doesn't like to look at food, right?

That is The Pony's plate. The Pony loves the roasted vegetables, which we refer to as "vinchtables" from childhood pronunciations. Also stuffing (from a box). There's some ham waiting to be put on mini sandwiches made with Sister Schubert's Rolls, along with some pepperjack and swiss. Red onions. Deviled eggs, of course. And some chips. The white stuff on the plate is French Onion Dip, I think. And salad, which I don't remember making separately this time, so The Pony must have had to do it (!).

Hick's plate is more ham-heavy. He's quite the carnivore. Hick also took a healthy (?) serving of potato salad. Which I was disappointed not to see on The Pony's plate, but The Pony likes it at room temperature, so was likely waiting to have it that way later with leftovers at home.

How dare Hick only take that much of the 7 layer salad!!! It seems like a mere token.

THIS is how you eat 7 layer salad! In a bowl piled to the top! So what if the rest of my plate "suffers" from having less? That salad is the main event.

Once again, I forgot about the dessert. It was only a variety of store-bought cheesecake slices. Hick and The Pony like them. I just had a couple of PEEPS.

The leftovers are all gone now, except a few slices of ham that we're eating in sandwiches. The bone is in FRIG II's freezer for a pot of beans. I'm missing my 7 layer salad already. I had been putting it on a wrap with ham for my suppers. Hick did not mind. He got the deviled eggs and potato salad and vinchtables.

When No News Might Be Good News

Here it is, two days past the original closing date for our sale of Bargain House, and we still have no check and no inkling of when we might get a check.

Hick has been communicating with Realtor Guy. It's not like he is ghosting us. He just has no information to give. The last we heard, the Buyer's financial institution had scheduled an appraisal of Bargain House on April 3, which was Good Friday. The Monday, April 6, closing date came and went. No closing.

On Monday, Realtor Guy informed Hick that the reason for the last-minute appraisal was because "The Buyer's financial institution had the wrong closing date."

How does that happen? Three ways possible, I'm guessing. The financial institution got the wrong closing date from Buyer, or Buyer's Realtor. Or they got the right date, but a worker at the financial institution itself recorded the wrong date.

Anyhoo... Realtor Guy told Hick that the appraisal report should be in "tonight." What does THAT mean? Do they work 24 hours? Where does it come "in?" To the financial institution, maybe? Then what happens? Do they have a board that has to approve the loan? 

Hick told Realtor Guy on Monday that if our closing could not be scheduled for Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday, it would have to wait until next week. As I type this, it is Wednesday night at 9:00. Hick talked to Realtor Guy this afternoon, and he said he still had no information on a closing date.

Looks like it will be next week at the earliest. Hopefully, it won't conflict with Hick's as-yet-unscheduled diagnosis/treatment of his lung ailment. Meanwhile, Hick's glass guy is fixing the windows at Bargain House on Friday.

Surely it's at least good news that we haven't heard anything, right? Wouldn't we know by now if Bargain House was not appraised at the amount needed to justify Buyer's loan? We're not counting on anything for certain...

Hick's Harem Informant

Monday evening, Hick and I were watching the finale of Extracted. It's a reality survivor show that we've followed since January. It was in the last 10 minutes, just ready to reveal the winner, when Hick's phone rang. He answered. It was one of his harem from the senior apartments.

"You know that table that was in the upstairs hall? Well, I just thought you should know, it's gone. Somebody took it."

"Yeah. I know. I have it."

"Oh. I thought you'd want to know that it was missing."

"It's fine. I have the table. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

That was pretty quick for getting one of his harem off the phone. After we finished our show, Hick said:

"At least it only took her 12 hours to notice that the table was gone, heh, heh."

"What did she expect you to do, rush over there tonight with a magnifying glass and look for fingerprints? Go door to door and search all the apartments?"

"I don't know what she expected. You never know with them gals."

Maybe Hick can organize his harem into a "neighborhood" watch group, one on each floor. 

Hick Can't Catch a Break. Or Breath.

Hick continues his quest for an MRI. You know, the MRI that was ordered by his Nurse Practitioner after she called him on Monday, March 30, saying his x-rays suggested that he had either a partially-collapsed lung, or the beginnings of pneumonia. 

Hick went back to his NP on Wednesday, April 1, because the lab said they couldn't give him an appointment sooner than two weeks. The NP and staff thought they had figured out that it was the hospital lab's misunderstanding about needing insurance approval. Hick said he'd rather change it to the imaging center. The NP said the imaging center would call him on Thursday, April 2.

That was quite a little April Fool's joke, I guess. Nobody called on Thursday. Nobody called on Good Friday. Today (Monday, April 6), Hick called his NP again. She said she would call the imaging center again. 

The imaging center called Hick, and said they could not give him an appointment for his MRI until it was approved by his insurance. So Hick called his NP, slightly irate, I would imagine, over the audacity of the imaging center to require insurance approval when his NP says it isn't necessary.

The NP called the imaging center again, stating that insurance approval was NOT necessary. 

The imaging center called Hick, giving him an appointment for an MRI on Thursday, April 9, at 3:30. 

Hick declared (to me) that he might as well have taken the appointment the hospital had offered him for next Tuesday! Since this had not gotten him an appointment much earlier. He says once they do the MRI, it will take his NP at least two business days before she reads it and contacts him.

Meanwhile, Hick is sounding a bit wheezy. He tries to do his deep breathing like his NP instructed, but that makes him dizzy. He sounds more wheezy to me. He says his upper right lung feels like some fluid is trying to come up when he coughs.

My whole point all along has been that his NP could have given Hick an antibiotic (for the possible pneumonia), and it wouldn't have hurt anything if he turned out to have a partially-collapsed lung. Whereas treating him for a possible partially-collapsed lung might not have been good for pneumonia.

That's how I see it. It's not like Hick is demanding unnecessary antibiotics for a common cold. The NP is the one who suggested pneumonia, after reading his chest x-ray. Dr. Val will step down off her soapbox now. Hopefull not injuring her fragile knees.

The Universe Thumbs Its Nose at Thevictorians

Dang The Universe! After getting our hopes up, with such a quick contract on Bargain House, The Universe is now toying with our semi-livelihood. Remember the "surprise" last-minute appraisal that was scheduled by The Buyer's financial institution on Good Friday? It appears to have become a monkey wrench tossed into this sale.

Saturday evening, I quizzed Hick on his latest communications with Realtor Guy.

"Are we still having the closing on Monday? We kind of need to know. It affects three of us. And we can't just pop in at the last minute. It's a 30-minute drive. Longer, because we have to pick up The Pony. I need to know, so I can plan when to take my morning medicine."

"I don't know Val. I sent him a text on Friday, and I still haven't heard anything back. I'll send him one tonight. But with tomorrow being Easter, I doubt I'll hear from him."

So what do we do? Plan our day like we're going to a closing at 1:00? Or go about our regular business, assuming that it will be rescheduled? Or maybe the deal will fall through because of the appraisal? Even though Realtor Guy had told us The Buyer was approved for a loan $20,000 more than our contract amount.

Sunday at 11:04, I got a text from Hick at his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5).

"Val i got a message from Realtor Guy he says he has not heard anything but we are most likely not closing tomorrow"

Well then. I will go about my normal business of doing nothing most of the day. If the closing for some reason mysteriously gets the go-ahead, that title company will just have to wait to give us a check!

Val Has Shown Remarkable Restraint

I have been sitting on a secret for the past couple of weeks. Not literally sitting, because my ample rumpus would do no favors to my secret. Which I am sure is no longer a secret, because you've seen the thumbnail picture before reading.

I HAVE BEEN HOARDING PEEPS!

Yes. It's the season for PEEPS. I found some new flavors. Of course I had to buy them. They pretty much hopped into my cart on their own, and twisted my arm behind my back to persuade me to take them home. They may THINK they're safe. But they're not. I'm only waiting on The Pony to come out and help with Easter Dinner. Then we'll crack open those PEEPS for a tasting. 

We are having Easter Dinner on Friday, because it's more convenient for Hick's business. So Thursday and Friday, The Pony and I will be PEEPing. Of course we will set some aside for Hick to have later. And a few for me to enjoy at my leisure. I don't want to overdo it. Then The Pony can take the rest home.

Here are my new flavors. In no particular order. I think I bought them over two or three different trips to 10Box, because they had a big bin, and different days there were different flavors.

The cashier said the Cotton Candy flavor is always the first to go. When the first shipment came in, she ran to get her share. Indeed, they were out of this variety on the first day I bought some.

They're not so pretty, but Dr. Pepper might be an interesting flavor. Not sure how The Pony will react. Way back in third grade, for surgery on the first broken elbow, The Pony chose Dr. Pepper scent for the anesthesia mask. Hope this doesn't cause any flashbacks!

Everybody knows Val LOVES a birthday cake flavored treat. I imagine Party Cake is the same thing. Hick may not get some of these!

I bought two of the Rice Krispies version. Not because I think they'll be my favorite, but because I think The Pony will like this flavor best. How could it go wrong? PEEPS are already 99% marshmallow. So the "Rice Krispie" flavor should be simple to add.

Of course I had to get the original basic yellow PEEPS. I'll probably keep them just for me. Everybody knows what an old-school PEEP tastes like.

I only regret that all these PEEPS were the chick shape. I am partial to the bunny shape. I like biting off the ears first. Then their abdomen, then their rumpus. It's harder to dismember the chicks evenly.

Happy Easter to all my PEEPS!

The Universe is Working Overtime

The Universe has been quite busy plotting to derail any plans had by Thevictian family of late. Val had a monkey wrench thrown into her knee joint replacement talks. Hick can't get an MRI scheduled to see what's up with his lung. And we can't get a definite time on the closing for Bargain House that is supposed to be on Monday.

I told Hick he REALLY needed to pin down Realtor Guy for a time. It was already mid-week, and many businesses are closed on Good Friday. How would we know when to show up on Monday for the closing?

Hick called Realtor Guy on Wednesday. He said to plan on around 1:00, he guessed. Which didn't sound very definite to me. It's a 30-minute drive for us. Longer, because we will swing by to pick up The Pony on the way.

THEN, on Thursday evening, Hick got a notice that there was an appraisal scheduled for Bargain House at 11:30 a.m. on Friday!

"That seems to be cutting it close! I'm not sure we can go through with the closing on Monday."

"It's seems pretty odd that the house will be appraised on Good Friday. Unless... they're in a rush to get it done in time for the closing Monday."

"I don't know. Some places are open. I've been thinking, after this one, I'm not sure I want Realtor Guy handling any more of our properties. I don't like all this electronic and email and online stuff. Realtor used to call me and have me come by her office to sign papers. I like the old-fashioned way better."

I said Hick should mention that to Realtor Guy. That we want to stay with him, but only if he will handle our deals like Realtor used to. Then it's up to him if it's worth changing his habits to keep our business. 

Meanwhile, I'm hoping the closing is not postponed. The Buyer is the one who decided on the date anyway. He should have made sure everything was on track to be ready.

Get an MRI, or Die Tryin'!

You may remember that Hick got a call from his Nurse Practitioner on Monday afternoon, telling him he needed an MRI because the x-rays showed that he might have a partially-collapsed lung, or the beginnings of pneumonia. She asked if he wanted a referral to the hospital lab, or the local imaging center. Hick said the hospital. His NP said they would call to make an appointment.

Tuesday passed, with no call. Then Wednesday, the hospital scheduling office called. The gal told Hick that the soonest appointment was two weeks out. This was not acceptable to Hick.

"I need the MRI because my doctor says I have a collapsed lung or pneumonia. I could be dead in two weeks!"

"Sorry, sir, but that is the earliest we can schedule an MRI for you."

Hick stopped by his NP's office to complain ask why it should take so long. His NP said it SHOULDN'T. She and the office gal who does the referral thingies got to looking into it. Somehow the hospital was saying it had to get pre-approval from Hick's insurance. But NP and Office Gal both agreed that it did NOT need pre-approval.

Hick said he was done with the hospital. To get him into the imaging center. NP said they should be calling Hick on Thursday morning. Well. Thursday has passed, and Hick got no call to schedule an appointment.

He's hoping to get a call today. With it being Good Friday, I'm not sure this call will happen until at least Monday. When we are scheduled to close on Bargain House. Or ARE we???

Out of the Fingers of Hick

One little letter can make a big difference in the meaning of a message. I'm fairly adept at deciphering Hick's chicken-scratch notes, and badly-typed texts. But his most recent text gave me a start.

The closing for our sale of Bargain House is scheduled for Monday. You may recall that this buyer has been a bit... um... persnickety, shall we say? Hick's Window Guy has the parts to repair the vapor seal on the three (not four as originally expected) windows. He told Hick this week that if it wasn't Good Friday, he would have been able to get it done then. But because of the holiday, these windows won't be repaired in time for the closing.

Realtor Guy says the Buyer is okay with getting a receipt showing the window work is paid for. I gave Hick a check (already filled out, so it's legible!) to pay the Window Guy on Tuesday. As far as I knew, everything was just fine for the deal. 

Then I got a text from Hick on Tuesday around 1:30.

"I'm in [Bill-Paying Town] waiting to give heck to glass guy"

WHAT??? Had some kind of problem come up? Would the windows cost more? Was Window Guy not able to fix them? What kind of mess were we in now, with the closing so close?

Then I looked at the text again. MAYBE Hick just forgot a letter.

"Check, I hope you mean!"

"Yes check"

Whew! That was a close one.

Turns Out Hick Needs a Breath of Fresh Air

I am a bit concerned about Hick. He is always on the go, taking on new projects all the time. You'd think he would have been all over Lap House by now, as with every other flip house we've bought, ready to get started as soon as he had the keys. But no. Hick has been working on renovating one of the senior apartments. And taking on a side job to put flooring in a woman's house.

In the midst of all this, Hick has some fairly minor surgery scheduled this month. As a condition of that surgery, he needed to complete some tests to see if he is fit for it. Like an EKG, and a chest x-ray. Monday afternoon, he got a call from his regular Nurse Practitioner who has scheduled the tests for him. She was concerned about the chest x-ray.

"She thinks I have a partially collapsed lung, or the beginning of pneumonia. So I have to get an MRI to see what it is, and what they'll do about it."

"You've had this little cold for about a week. Maybe it's because of that. I don't hear you coughing up much stuff. Or if it's a collapsed lung, maybe you hurt something when you fell and busted your lip."

"I don't know. My upper right chest has been hurting a little for a while now. Since before I fell. I thought maybe it was from when I slipped on the ice getting in my truck at Casey's, and laid on the parking lot for a while. I hit hard. I guess I ain't gettin' enough oxygen. Maybe that's why I'm always tired, and I get dizzy."

"Do you feel like you have a fever? Like when I had pneumonia."

"No. I don't think I have a fever. She told me to make sure to take a lot of deep breaths through the day. You know my brother just got out of the hospital in Vegas, after having pneumonia. He was in there a long time, and they sent him home with oxygen. But he felt bad enough that he went to the emergency room."

"Maybe you had a little cold a while back, and it developed into pneumonia. They can fix you up with steroids and antibiotics if they catch it quick enough."

"You'd think she would have noticed that, though, when I went for my appointment last week and she listed to my chest. I don't know about a collapsed lung."

"When I think of a collapsed lung, I think of the show ER, where they'd slice open your side between the ribs, and jam a tube in there to drain out the blood that caused the lung to collapse! But those people definitely knew they couldn't breathe."

"I don't know. I guess we'll find out what it is after the MRI."

No idea how this will affect the upcoming surgery. Let's hope there's an "easy" fix for what ails Hick.