It Was Bound to Happen

Hick and Old Buddy spent a couple of cool(er) days working at Cheap House, tearing out the unlevel floor and putting down a new subfloor. 

This is the area between the front room and the kitchen. The furnace and washer/dryer were in that space. Hick says they are going bye-bye. He opened up the furnace, and it was full of gunk. Not salvageable. I imagine HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) and his buddy took any working appliances when they did the initial cleanout.

Here's more of that area, after more floor removal. Hick replaced rotten floor joists, and leveled the floor. He and Old Buddy put down the new subfloor. It's not intended for living on, heh, heh. Just a base to put a new (level) floor of laminate or carpet or whatever the eventual flip-buyer wants.

This is the new floor in the front room. That window looks out onto the street. I think that's a cabinet Hick is using as a work table. The other might be a dryer that he moved out of the way to work on the other part of the floor.

This is another view of the front room, looking back through the furnace area, to the kitchen. Hick says he hopes to get the kitchen floor done next week. Then Cheap House will be ready to list with Realtor Guy.

Just as I suspected, and dreaded... Hick said last night, "I'm not so sure we shouldn't KEEP this house, and fix it up to sell. I've already done the hard parts. I could work on it when I get Lap House done."

I KNEW Hick would do that! Which is why I didn't want to buy Cheap House when we already had Lap House. Of course it would make sense, after spending so much on the roof. I told Hick that was not part of the original agreement. He was all for flipping quick, and making a small profit. Now he wants to do the whole thing. It doesn't matter so much to US, but The Pony has money tied up in two flips now, and is paying two sets of half-expenses. And Cheap House will need an HVAC system. They ain't cheap! Nor are kitchens.

I don't know what The Pony will have to say when I break this news. Hick tried to act like it was just a suggestion. "Oh, yeah. Of course we'll still list it. But if it doesn't sell, I can finish it..." 

So Many Spaces, So Little Respect

This is why we can't have accessible things. SOME people are so entitled that they park where they darn well please. Never mind that they might be inconveniencing a protected demographic. Also breaking the law. And generally being a first-class rumpushole.

It was Tuesday, the hottest day of the year. Heat index 115. I had just come out of Save A Lot and climbed into T-Hoe. I was LUCKY to get the other handicap space, the one I prefer. 

This guy comes whipping into this handicap space. No handicap plate. No handicap placard. He got out and walked to the door with no sign of any different-abledness nor orthopedic injury. He looked like a thin version of David Crosby.

Don't make excuses for him, like maybe he didn't know it was a handicap parking space. The stencil is clearly visible. It's not like there were no other places to park. The space right next to him is empty. And the whole row behind him.

I have a feeling he would have preferred to park in a striped handicap walkway. Because he and his sports car are so very special.

What We Have Here Is a Failure to Get a Hearing Aid

Life is not a bowl of cherries here at our hillbilly mansion. It's more like a box of chocolates. Some of those chocolates are bitter! Disagreements can usually be talked out. Unless one of the disagree-ers doesn't listen. Or as that certain disagree-er says, "I listen to you, but I don't hear you." This causes our sweet Val to endure occasional tongue-lashings which she does not deserve. 

Tuesday afternoon, I was sitting at the kitchen table scratching lottery tickets when Hick got home. He'd planned to mow the front yard/field, but I told him it was too hot. He instead decided to watch Emergency and MASH, and have a beer and a snack in his recliner. His movements in my peripheral vision reminded me of my trip to the store earlier. 

Hick was getting a small styrofoam bowl from beside the sink. There's always a couple that I set there, having been used once for pretzels or a dry snack, then the crumbs dumped out, and perfectly usable again.

"Save A Lot doesn't have ANYTHING any more!"

"I put this bowl here! It's the one I used yesterday!"

"And...?

"FINE! I'll get another one!" Hick stomped away from the counter to get a "new" styrofoam bowl from the other side of the kitchen.

"What does that have to do with what I was saying?"

"You said 'I CAN'T HAVE ANYTHING ANY MORE!' So I put down your bowl to get a new one."

"No. I said SAVE A LOT doesn't have anything any more! I noticed, because you picked up a bowl, and I went there to buy some of the big styrofoam bowls, and they were out. Also out of Nutty Oat Bread, and their store brand Honey BBQ Sauce. That's all I was trying to say when you flipped out. At least wait to yell at me when you actually know what I said."

"Well, you were looking at me because I took your bowl! But it was MY bowl, that I used yesterday."

"I was looking at you because you picked up A BOWL, which reminded me that I couldn't find the big bowls at the store."

So many of these "discussions" could be avoided if Hick would only get a hearing aid, and not ASSUME he knows what I'm saying. I didn't give a fat rat's rumpus if he used that bowl.

Hick's Harem Presents a Problem

It was the weekend. So of course Hick had to deal with his Harem. He just can't quit them. But THIS time, the Harem wasn't pursuing Hick...

Sunday evening, Hick sent me the last picture of his new office accoutrements. Along with a text that he was dumping the trash, and would then be home. He had stopped by to do the trash (more likely admire his newest shelf of collectibles) on the way home from his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5).

When Hick got home, he had quite a story:

"I went in to take the trash out of the trash room, and put it in the dumpster. I noticed that it stunk in there. Like sewer. I was afraid we had a plumbing issue. I opened up the door to the stairwell, and there was POOP! Runny poop."

"EWW! Was it a homeless?"

"I thought it might be. Sometimes they get in. But then I noticed there was more poop on the stairs. It went up to the 2nd floor landing. Then stopped. I'll look at my security camera and see if it's the lady on the 2nd floor."

"Don't you have cameras in the hall?"

"Yeah. I do have cameras in the hall. But not the stairwell. I'll be able to pick up who comes out on the 2nd floor. And see where they go, and if they messed their pants."

"Yuck! What good would THAT do? I doubt anybody who lives there did it on purpose. It's not like you can talk to them about it. It was an accident. Why do you think it's her?"

"I want to know if it's somebody who got in the door. I wouldn't say anything. Or mention any name if somebody sees me cleaning it up tomorrow morning. I went by Walmart and got some kitty litter to sprinkle on it. I was going to go back, but figured it can wait until morning. And it might even be gone. Whoever did it might clean up, and try to keep it a secret. This is the lady who sits in the stairwell all the time. I know she wears diapers. I seen some when I went in to fix her air conditioning."

"Well. Wash your hands!"

"Val. I didn't play in it or nothin'! I only dumped the trash."

No. Hick did not wash his hands before supper. I guess he figures the trash is clean.

Maybe Now We Can Move On to a Flip House

Hick sent me another picture of his work office on Sunday evening. He was supposedly stopping by the senior apartments to take the trash out from the trash room to the dumpster. Yet he ended up on the third floor in his office.

"This is what I brought up when I took The Pony home on Thursday."

Looks like it's some of Hick's St. Louis Cardinals memorabilia. You know, just something totally unrelated to all the other themes he has going on. I guess it goes along with his silver Budweiser Clydesdale in the clear box.

You'd think somebody so involved with decorating this former half-storage-room might have chosen a better board for his shelf. Give it a clear coat at least. It looks like a cast-off board from the trim pile. At least it's the same color as the couch wood, and the other shelf, and the bare plywood around the window air conditioner.

I hope Hick has this office out of his system now. He let slip the date of the next board meeting (the reason he gave for getting this office ready), and it's the middle of AUGUST! I don't get the urgency.

Anyhoo... Hick said he was going by Cheap House on Monday morning (around 6:15 when he left home), to get some work done on the floor before it got too hot. I'm calling the office done!

You Say Tomato, I Say TINO

Hick's Freebie Magnet was pulling last week. He came home with three tomatoes. 

"I've got tomatoes. A guy gave them to me down at my shop."

"Are they home-grown? Or the kind like from the store, that some people get a deal on and sell at a farmer's market."

"I don't know. He didn't say. He just gave me three tomatoes."

When I set them on the counter, I was suspicious.

"These look too smooth to be home-grown. And really clean. I guess I'll find out when I slice one."

Later that night, I had my answer. The tomatoes were definitely store-bought adjacent. Firm inside, not many seeds, a lot of that pulp stuff. NO TASTE! If I had been fed a piece while blindfolded, I would never have guessed it was a tomato. Or course I ate that tomato anyway. I'm not one to waste a free tomato!

I had another one a couple days later. This one remains. I will offer it to Hick tonight, but will probably end up having it myself tomorrow. I don't think that guy was trying to pass them off as home-grown. I think he was just being generous. Maybe had more tomatoes than he needed.

I say this was a TINO. Tomato in name only.

I Don't Think It's Happening

Back in the middle of June, Hick said he told Realtor Guy that he'd be ready to list Lap House in one-and-a-half months. That would be around the first week of August. I really don't believe this will happen. Hick has done NOTHING on Lap House. Despite the electricity being hooked up on June 19th. At the time Hick shared this info with me, I got the impression he also thought Cheap House would be ready to list. 

I can't fault Hick for not working on Cheap House. The heat has been terrible, and there's no air conditioning at Cheap House. The 10-day forecast shows more incredible heat. The heat index hovering around 104 for a couple days, then 111 on Tuesday! With more days of 104 through the end of July. 

I understand that weather happens. That's why I told Hick to get the outside of Lap House done first, so he could be working inside during the heat of summer and cold of winter. The first thing he did (besides cleaning out that basement) was to have the new HVAC installed. Lap House is a safe environment for inside work. This is where I fault Hick. For wanting to make an office at the senior apartments, and put a new roof on one of his themed sheds, and make trips to the city to buy "collectibles," and spending days besides Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at his SUS2.5.

Hick has always been a hard worker. It's his attention span that causes issues. He always needs five or six projects to flit between, with none of them getting full attention. Or finished.

Hick said he met with his roofing guy on Friday evening, about Lap House. He's thinking of just replacing the part of the roof with loose shingles, because the back of the house roof looks good.

At least that's a step in the right direction, even IF this is not actual work done by Hick. And even if it will probably be too hot for the roofers to work over the next couple weeks. I'm a little suspicious because Hick didn't elaborate on the estimate or exactly what will be done. And he only mentioned this meeting when I questioned why he was home later than usual without notifying me.

I would bet my casino bankroll that neither Lap House, nor Cheap House, will be ready for listing by the first week of August.