Friday, December 1, 2023

The Bingo "Price" Once Again Evades Hick

Hick played bingo again Wednesday night. I swear, he reminds me of Charlie Brown kicking the football held by Lucy. Every week he shows up, ready to win that grand price! Only to have his hopes dashed at the last minute. At least he gets to enjoy some good food while pursuing his folly.

"Buffalo pizza pretty good"

"Looks really good, if not too spicy."

"Pizza was really good and not spicy"

The pizza was topped with buffalo chicken, not actual buffalo, heh, heh! In case anybody has been shacking up under a rock with the GEICO caveman for 15 years, that's white meat chicken coated in hot sauce. Anyhoo... there was also cheese, and a drizzle of ranch dressing.

"The price is a fire pit but it's in box so no picture sorry"

As usual, that's Hick's own grammar and punctuation. When he got home, I asked if he won. As if he wouldn't have barged through the door declaring that loudly if he had!

"No. I was one letter off! I only needed ONE, and then a lady yelled BINGO!"

Oh, well. We don't really need a fire pit. We have 20 contiguous acres. Plus another 10 up the road. I'm sure Hick can find a place to build a fire. He's already got his burn pile area over by the BARn. 

To win the grand "price," you have to get an X on your bingo card. I'm sure Hick will continue to try. Don't cost nothin'. Except $11 for a pizza, and something for an accompanying beverage. Then again, Hick could play without food and drink for free. I don't see that happening. 

Thursday, November 30, 2023

Val Just Can't Help Herself

I've been attracting lottery wins like my weirdo magnet pulling in weirdos! It's like my scratcherdar is in overdrive. I seem to put myself in the right place at the right time and pick the right ticket. Tuesday was a prime example...

That's a $500 winner, by cracky! I matched every number, plus the candy canes that are automatic win symbols, and the top bonus area with a leaping reindeer. I always scratch off the matching parts first, then go back to check the prize if I have a winner(s). I was anticipating a $100 winner. That first reveal was quite exciting.

This winner came from the School-Turn Casey's. I had planned to go there on Monday, for a change of pace. I normally go on Thursdays. But Thanksgiving week threw me off, and I had been last Tuesday. I changed my plans Monday, since I was in 10Box buying some groceries. I just used their lottery machine instead. But Tuesday I headed over to the School-Turn Casey's, for a $10 ticket and some crosswords. There are only two of the $10 tickets there, and I chose this one over the Red 777 version. It just spoke to me. I'm glad I listened!

Seems like only a couple weeks ago, I had another $500 winner. Oh, that's right. It was 13 days ago! Not that I'm complaining.

Not posting this to brag, or pretend that I know how to pick winners. Only to let others share vicariously in my gambling habit without risking their own cash!

Wednesday, November 29, 2023

A Pre-Pony Postal Impropriety

Way back before working for the USPS was not-even a glimmer in The Pony's eye, an incident occurred that rattled my mom to her very core. No, I'm not talking about the drunk man who stood beside the road, leaning on our rural mailbox for several hours while Mom peeped out to see if he'd left yet. I'm talking about my mother's kindheartedness, and propensity for avoiding confrontation.

My mom's best friend, Irma, would often bring things to her and leave them on the porch. Perhaps a cinnamon roll in a bag, draped on the doorknob. Or some tabloids. Just little treats every couple of weeks or so, and the magazines every week. With the garage, you couldn't tell if Mom was home. Irma didn't want to ring the bell and have Mom come up from the family room to see who was there. She'd call later to see if Mom found the stuff. 

They used to teach together, and ride to work in a carpool. No formal visit was necessary. They could talk on the phone for hours, sometimes giggling like schoolgirls until they cried. Irma had some knee trouble, and Mom didn't want her to walk up the porch steps, or make any extra effort just for her. She told Irma that she could just leave the magazines in the mailbox, instead of walking up on the porch. 

Around the holidays Mom made cookies. She got a card to thank Irma, and put some cookies in a baggie. Left them in the mailbox for Irma to get when she dropped off the magazines. 

A couple days later, Mom was surprised to find a card in the mailbox.

"Thank you for the nice card. It made my day. It means so much that somebody appreciates what I do. The cookies were delicious. I am so happy to be your mail lady!"

Well! That threw Mom for a loop! She didn't know what to do. She hadn't told Irma that she was leaving her anything. So she couldn't really apologize that Irma didn't get them. The mail lady was the mother of one of Genius's friends, from the next town over. Mom had never really met her, but the mail lady knew that Mom was Genius's grandma. Mom didn't want to make her feel bad by telling her that the card and cookies weren't meant for her. So she did nothing. Except tell me the story.

I think Mom handled it just right. She said nothing to the mail lady, and got another card, which she took with cookies to Irma's house.

Tuesday, November 28, 2023

Everybody Sees Them But Val

The ol' Val eyes ain't what they used to be, but I know I'm not blind. I'm just not seeing ladybugs all willy-nilly, day in/day out, like SOME people around here. Hick is the latest beneficiary of a ladybug sighting. He sent me a text on Saturday:

"Look at the Beatles on the b. I just bought the clock"

It took me a minute to understand what Hick was trying to say. I suppose he let Autocorrect fill in the Beatles. I was wondering what Paul, John, George, and Ringo had to do with that clock. Then I zoomed in for a closer look.

How fair is THAT? Hick doesn't even call them ladybugs! Why does HE deserve to see one, when it would mean the world to me?

Everybody stop cutting eyes at each other, and cease your crazy temple twirly fingers to play the world's smallest violin for Val!

As for the clock, it is a hark back (never heard of a hark forward) to the days of Griesedieck Brothers Beer, a St. Louis brewing company. Hick paid $35 for the clock, and said it's probably worth about $100.

"What will you sell it for?"

"I'm not selling it. I'm keeping it. With my collection of beer stuff."

That means somebody is not going to get it for the low, low price of $40.

 As for the ladybug... I suppose it will fly away home, trying to remember if its house insurance is paid up.

Monday, November 27, 2023

Nobody Can Accuse The Pony of Hamming It Up

The Pony worked on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.  He sent me a text at 11:00 a.m.

"Gotta say, this is a first."

"Wow! Was that left for a relative to pick up? Or for the regular carrier? Or maybe someone dropped it off for the homeowner?"

"I have no clue, but I'm not touching it!"

"Not today, Postal Inspector!"

Let the record show that some people leave holiday bonuses for their postman. But also, Postal Inspectors allegedly plant items in random mailboxes to test the integrity of the employees. They are not supposed to pick up anything but outgoing mail. I think they are allowed to accept a gift up to $20 in value, once a year. I don't know the specifics. I haven't read the regulations. Only the discussions I see on the USPS unofficial site on Reddit. Sometimes carriers post pictures of odd things they've found in mailboxes, with the response being: "Not today, Postal Inspector!" A lot of times, it's loose $20 bills, or bags of weed.

This is the first ham I've seen in a mailbox. I think The Pony was wise to leave it!

Sunday, November 26, 2023

Thevictorians' Dessert Cornucopia

When I was shopping for the final items I needed for Thanksgiving Dinner, I went overboard on the desserts. Part of it was guilt for not making them myself. I usually make an Oreo Cake for The Pony, and a chocolate pudding pie for Hick. The older I get, the less effort I feel like expending. After all, I was making three sides, plus The Pony making his own Stovetop Stuffing that he loves so much. I figured storebought desserts would suffice.

The five desserts were: 

Marie Callender's Chocolate Satin Pie: we had this a previous year, on a whim, and Hick and I both love it.

Marie Callender's Banana Cream Pie: Hick loves banana cream pie, and I also like it.

Triple Chocolate Cake: it's shaped like a bundt cake, with a chocolate glaze icing, and mini chocolate chips sprinkled on top. We all like chocolate cake.

Mini Blueberry Muffins: The Pony likes them, and used to get the individual bags of mini muffins. These came in a clear plastic container, one dozen.

Chocolate-Covered Brownies: not full size, but like mini brownies, in a clear plastic container smaller than that holding the mini blueberry muffins. The Pony loves brownies, and I figured he would love chocolate-covered brownies even more.

I planned to send half the Triple Chocolate Cake, what was left of the Mini Blueberry Muffins, and all six of the Chocolate-Covered Brownies home with The Pony. Hick got to choose which pie he wanted me to set out to thaw. He picked the Banana Cream Pie.

Anyhoo... The Pony and I were still giggling about old times, chipping away at our enormous plates of savory food, when Hick pushed his empty plate away, and announced he was getting dessert. We paid him no mind, as usual. He got a knife and a paper plate as we continued to reminisce. And then we heard it!


The Pony and I cut eyes at each other. That didn't sound right.

"Uh. Dad? I don't think your pie has thawed out yet."

"NO! Get something else. Let the pie wait until later."

Of course Hick does not listen to us. Especially when DESSERT is involved! He brought his plate of pie to the table, and commenced poking his fork into it.


"No. Don't eat that! Let it thaw!"

Hick put that bite of pie into his mouth, and started chewing. CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH!

The Pony and I looked on in horror, as Hick proclaimed, "It's fine." He continued to chew. It sounded like he was eating light bulbs! 

Once the slice of pie was finished, Hick got up again. He came back with a slice of the Triple Chocolate Cake. Which was blessedly silent as he ate it. 

THEN Hick went back to the counter, and got himself a Mini Blueberry Muffin. 

The Pony and I were still eating our regular food. We were both too full for dessert. In fact, The Pony declined the Mini Blueberry Muffins as part of his leftovers to take home. He DID take all the Chocolate-Covered Brownies, and half the Triple Chocolate Cake. Also Chinese Tupperware containers of ham, roasted vegetables, stuffing, half of the sliced assorted cheeses pack, his remaining Sister Schubert's Rolls plus a still-frozen pack to bake later. And two individual salads that I had made for him, with the bottle of Peppercorn Ranch Dressing.

The Pony's reason for declining the Mini Blueberry Muffins?

"I can't eat too much. My route is not as much walking as I used to have."

By the following evening, Hick's Banana Cream Pie was no longer crunchy. He really likes it.

Saturday, November 25, 2023

Val Baby-Steps Her Way Out of the PENNY Shortage

The curse has been broken! Whoever had a voodoo Val doll with a reverse magnet strapped to it, repelling all pennies, must have tired of their shenanigans, and at least flipped that magnet on Tuesday!

On my very very good day, TUESDAY, November 21, I hobbled out of the Gas Station Chicken Store and was immediately accosted by a shining PENNY!

Just try to miss THAT one! The day was cool and sunny as I made my way around three towns. I guess dusk was falling early, or a cloud passed over while I was inside buying scratchers. The object of my desire was under the roof by the gas pumps. You can see Hick's pharmacy across the moat, and a sliver of a car parked at the Casey's in the uppermost leftmost corner. But all I had eyes for was that penny!

It was a face-down 2002 penny, showing me its rumpus. What a cheeky Lincoln! I suppose he was embarrassed to show his face, after avoiding me for nigh on two weeks!

My hopes for breaking last year's records are as dim as the light in this picture. But I'll keep trying! Nobody ever became a Pennyillionaire by giving up.

That's 1 COIN this week, for 1 CENT towards Val's Future Pennyillionaire Fortune!


Penny           # 81.
Dime             still at 17
Nickel           still at 1
Quarter        still at 4


Penny           124
Dime              21
Nickel              7
Quarter             9


Penny        124
Dime           14
Nickel           7
Quarter         6