Hick's Harem Presents a Problem

It was the weekend. So of course Hick had to deal with his Harem. He just can't quit them. But THIS time, the Harem wasn't pursuing Hick...

Sunday evening, Hick sent me the last picture of his new office accoutrements. Along with a text that he was dumping the trash, and would then be home. He had stopped by to do the trash (more likely admire his newest shelf of collectibles) on the way home from his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5).

When Hick got home, he had quite a story:

"I went in to take the trash out of the trash room, and put it in the dumpster. I noticed that it stunk in there. Like sewer. I was afraid we had a plumbing issue. I opened up the door to the stairwell, and there was POOP! Runny poop."

"EWW! Was it a homeless?"

"I thought it might be. Sometimes they get in. But then I noticed there was more poop on the stairs. It went up to the 2nd floor landing. Then stopped. I'll look at my security camera and see if it's the lady on the 2nd floor."

"Don't you have cameras in the hall?"

"Yeah. I do have cameras in the hall. But not the stairwell. I'll be able to pick up who comes out on the 2nd floor. And see where they go, and if they messed their pants."

"Yuck! What good would THAT do? I doubt anybody who lives there did it on purpose. It's not like you can talk to them about it. It was an accident. Why do you think it's her?"

"I want to know if it's somebody who got in the door. I wouldn't say anything. Or mention any name if somebody sees me cleaning it up tomorrow morning. I went by Walmart and got some kitty litter to sprinkle on it. I was going to go back, but figured it can wait until morning. And it might even be gone. Whoever did it might clean up, and try to keep it a secret. This is the lady who sits in the stairwell all the time. I know she wears diapers. I seen some when I went in to fix her air conditioning."

"Well. Wash your hands!"

"Val. I didn't play in it or nothin'! I only dumped the trash."

No. Hick did not wash his hands before supper. I guess he figures the trash is clean.

Maybe Now We Can Move On to a Flip House

Hick sent me another picture of his work office on Sunday evening. He was supposedly stopping by the senior apartments to take the trash out from the trash room to the dumpster. Yet he ended up on the third floor in his office.

"This is what I brought up when I took The Pony home on Thursday."

Looks like it's some of Hick's St. Louis Cardinals memorabilia. You know, just something totally unrelated to all the other themes he has going on. I guess it goes along with his silver Budweiser Clydesdale in the clear box.

You'd think somebody so involved with decorating this former half-storage-room might have chosen a better board for his shelf. Give it a clear coat at least. It looks like a cast-off board from the trim pile. At least it's the same color as the couch wood, and the other shelf, and the bare plywood around the window air conditioner.

I hope Hick has this office out of his system now. He let slip the date of the next board meeting (the reason he gave for getting this office ready), and it's the middle of AUGUST! I don't get the urgency.

Anyhoo... Hick said he was going by Cheap House on Monday morning (around 6:15 when he left home), to get some work done on the floor before it got too hot. I'm calling the office done!

You Say Tomato, I Say TINO

Hick's Freebie Magnet was pulling last week. He came home with three tomatoes. 

"I've got tomatoes. A guy gave them to me down at my shop."

"Are they home-grown? Or the kind like from the store, that some people get a deal on and sell at a farmer's market."

"I don't know. He didn't say. He just gave me three tomatoes."

When I set them on the counter, I was suspicious.

"These look too smooth to be home-grown. And really clean. I guess I'll find out when I slice one."

Later that night, I had my answer. The tomatoes were definitely store-bought adjacent. Firm inside, not many seeds, a lot of that pulp stuff. NO TASTE! If I had been fed a piece while blindfolded, I would never have guessed it was a tomato. Or course I ate that tomato anyway. I'm not one to waste a free tomato!

I had another one a couple days later. This one remains. I will offer it to Hick tonight, but will probably end up having it myself tomorrow. I don't think that guy was trying to pass them off as home-grown. I think he was just being generous. Maybe had more tomatoes than he needed.

I say this was a TINO. Tomato in name only.

I Don't Think It's Happening

Back in the middle of June, Hick said he told Realtor Guy that he'd be ready to list Lap House in one-and-a-half months. That would be around the first week of August. I really don't believe this will happen. Hick has done NOTHING on Lap House. Despite the electricity being hooked up on June 19th. At the time Hick shared this info with me, I got the impression he also thought Cheap House would be ready to list. 

I can't fault Hick for not working on Cheap House. The heat has been terrible, and there's no air conditioning at Cheap House. The 10-day forecast shows more incredible heat. The heat index hovering around 104 for a couple days, then 111 on Tuesday! With more days of 104 through the end of July. 

I understand that weather happens. That's why I told Hick to get the outside of Lap House done first, so he could be working inside during the heat of summer and cold of winter. The first thing he did (besides cleaning out that basement) was to have the new HVAC installed. Lap House is a safe environment for inside work. This is where I fault Hick. For wanting to make an office at the senior apartments, and put a new roof on one of his themed sheds, and make trips to the city to buy "collectibles," and spending days besides Friday, Saturday, and Sunday at his SUS2.5.

Hick has always been a hard worker. It's his attention span that causes issues. He always needs five or six projects to flit between, with none of them getting full attention. Or finished.

Hick said he met with his roofing guy on Friday evening, about Lap House. He's thinking of just replacing the part of the roof with loose shingles, because the back of the house roof looks good.

At least that's a step in the right direction, even IF this is not actual work done by Hick. And even if it will probably be too hot for the roofers to work over the next couple weeks. I'm a little suspicious because Hick didn't elaborate on the estimate or exactly what will be done. And he only mentioned this meeting when I questioned why he was home later than usual without notifying me.

I would bet my casino bankroll that neither Lap House, nor Cheap House, will be ready for listing by the first week of August.

The Return of the OPC

Hick and The Pony carried my OPC (Old People Chair) up those 13 rail-less steps from the basement on Thursday. We are rearranging our living room. I have not used my OPC since my Unfortunate HospitVALzation back in January 2022. At first I was too weak to take those stairs. Then the state of my knees made me leery of falling.

Anyhoo... I now have my OPC in the living room, against the wall where Hick's recliner used to reside. Then there's the table next to it. And now Hick's recliner. The short couch that used to be in that place is under the living room window. It looks a little cramped over there, at a right angle to the long couch, with the coffee table now in front of the short couch.

I told Hick that maybe we should get rid of the short couch, and put in two of his "dentist chairs," the ones shown in his new office at the senior apartments. Sometimes you just want a nice sturdy cushioned chair to sit on, rather than a soft couch or a recliner. Such a chair is easier for me to arise from than a couch, since it's not as low. Same with Hick's recliner. I didn't sit in it, because it's lower, and my knees don't like to bend enough to get my feet under me to stand up. At least my OPC has that tilt thingy.

My OPC has a backup battery. That's great. I don't want to be trapped like a turtle on its back if the power goes off. I only had to make use of that once, back when the OPC was in the basement. Down there, my OPC controller was on a lamp table to my right, where the backup battery and wall outlet were. Now the outlet and battery are on my left. The cord runs under the OPC, and comes up on the right. Hick had it lying on the table between our chairs. 

I'm afraid that remote might drag off the back of the table, and fall where I can't reach it. So I set it in a little box of assorted stuff I keep on the table. Like pens, chapstick, bandaids, a nail file, a thermometer, etc. Stuff that should have a home of their own, but are more convenient to have right there.

Anyhoo... I mentioned to Hick that I was keeping the OPC remote there, to make sure it didn't fall down. Hick said haughtily...

"There's a pocket on the side of your chair to keep the remote in." 

Because, you know, he's the one who's been sitting in my OPC occasionally when he goes to the basement to watch the big screen TV.

I moved as if to reach my right hand down to that pocket. 

"Well. The only problem is that THERE'S A TABLE UP AGAINST MY CHAIR." 

I couldn't even fit a fingertip between them. Not that it matters. I don't need the table and Hick's recliner moved over. I'm fine with my remote sitting in that little box. It's just that Hick thinks he knows everything! And was trying to make me feel less-than by pointing out the (inaccessible) pocket.

That's a bold attitude from a guy who doesn't even know how to slice a baked potato.

Hick's Eclectic Office

Hick says he's almost finished decorating his office at the senior apartments. It IS looking more like an office. Though again, I'm not sure what KIND of office. Nothing about it screams "Manager, Senior Apartments." I don't even hear a whisper.

The desk is the most "office-y" thing in there. And the printer. Hick THINKS it's a printer. He says it makes copies, so it should print. His laptop is being worked on by The Pony, so not on his desk. There's his surveillance monitor. Maybe so he can see his Harem coming! I'm surprised by the bare wires up in the corner. Hick usually runs all his wire in conduit. Then again, he's been in a rush to get this office done. He says he doesn't like the desk, and might look for another one. Used, of course!

I see the air conditioner has been installed. That's a nice mirror, but I'm not sure how one could look into it without standing on the couch. Which is not new, but was in a storeroom. Perhaps the one from which Hick made this office! As for the knick-knacks on the shelves, I see a gigantic squirrel terroizing some Model A era vehicles. And above, there are a couple of Mr. Peanuts, and a duo of Uncle Sams!

Now we're back to the first wall that Hick showed us a couple days ago. He's added a mini fridge. The chairs came from the set Hick got when a dentist's office closed. I think they look comfortable. I'd like to have one here at home. Looks good for a sturdy chair to sit and read a book. The table is from the rich guy's house where Hick is eventually going to get the cabinets. 

I think it's a bright, cheery office space to have a meeting. Hick has done a nice job here. Though I would have preferred his energy and time go into one of our TWO flip houses. 

I Think It's the Mark of a Psycho

Hick may be a genius with machines and construction, savvy at business, and pretty good with people skills. But nobody's perfect. Hick has a deficiency in common sense. He can barely prepare his own plate for supper.

Last night it was boneless/skinless chicken breast, stuffing, and a baked potato. Let the record show that Hick was offered slaw and a sliced tomato and salad, but declined. He said he wanted sour cream and cheese on his baked potato. This was a breeze for me to prepare, because we'd already had the chicken the day before, and the stuffing. We ran out of corn on the cob, so I offered the baked potato. All I had to do was warm chicken and stuffing in the oven, and microwave the potato.

A normal person would probably be able to come to kitchen and put that food on a plate without issue. No need for Val to hover over a normal person, micromanaging. But with Hick, it's different. Hick is not a normal person. I set out his plate (in this case, the yellow cafeteria tray) and silverware (including his precious paring knife), and the sour cream container with a designated spoon, and a bowl of shredded cheddar (because Hick is likely to reach an unwashed hand into the bag if I don't).

I stood by, with helpful suggestions, heh, heh.

"Do you want a longer knife to cut open your potato?"

"No. This little one is just fine."

Hick sliced the potato in half. You might think that sounds completely normal. You'd be wrong. Hick did not slice the potato lengthways, as every baked-potato-eater in the history of the world has done since the beginning of potatoes and knives. No. Hick sliced that potato across the middle. Like you might have two halves of a soft-boiled egg in two egg cups. 

WHAT KIND OF PSYCHO DOES THAT?

"Why in the world would you slice a baked potato like that? How are you going to put your cheese and sour cream on it?"

"I know what I'm doing, Val. I just don't do it the way you want me to do it."

Hick then cut down the middle of each potato half. They were in a V shape.

"I don't know how you think your cheese and sour cream are going to stay on the potato. Here! At least do THIS." I pulled the halves apart so they laid flat. "Wait. Why are you putting the sour cream on first?"

"It don't matter which I do first."

"Okay. Do the sour cream. It will get hot, and the shredded cheese will stay cold on top of the sour cream."

Hick put down the spoon. Picked up the bowl of shredded cheddar, grabbed handfuls, and dropped the clumps onto his potato quarters. THEN added the sour cream on top. I could tell he was totally confused by this concept of letting the cheese melt on the hot potato.

Baby steps. I'm trying to ease Hick into the world of normal food prep. Because I'm a giver like that. Hick is not a very good taker.

It shouldn't bother me how Hick fills his plate. He's an adult. He wants to eat in the living room. I don't have to watch. I could just as well dump everything into a portable trough and Hick would do just fine. But I keep trying to polish Hick into a normal-adjacent eater.