I'll Believe It when I See It

You were supposed to get a view of the back of Cheap House today. Sadly, the photographer was distracted by something shiny. 

Hick went to work on putting in the door, and getting the siding on the back. He said he was called away to a water leak at the senior apartments. They sure are demanding, for just over $300 per month! And Hick was able to text me at 11:29 after finishing his Father's Day lunch at the Senior Center. He SAID he was going back by Cheap House to get the pictures. But instead went down by his SUS2.5 to look at some chairs and stuff a guy had on Facebook.

I know this, because I called Hick went he sent the text. He was digesting his food, and listening to what sounded like a barbershop trio. He said he had live entertainment of three guys singing. Anyhoo... Hick also said he'd had Realtor Guy at Cheap House to talk about listing it. That's the highlight, I think.

"Realtor Guy said he had a guy who would be interested. It's two guys who flip houses like we do. Right now they have their money in a big house in the city, listed for $350,000. He says they've been asking him for smaller properties. They pay between $40 to $50 per square foot. And Cheap House is around 1000 square feet. So Realtor Guy says he thinks they will want it. He said to call him when I'm ready to list, and he'll get pictures. I told him there's a couple things I still want to do, like the floor and the windows.

I also told Realtor Guy that we should be ready to list Lap House in about one-and-a-half months. The electricity got hooked up today, so I can start working in it."

Well. That's all news to ME! I can't imagine Hick will have Cheap House on the market, and get Lap House ready in such a short time. Especially with all his side trips to do other things at the drop of a hat.

I'd probably be quite safe if I declared I would eat that hat if Cheap House and Lap House are both up with an active listing by August 1st.

Hick's FREEbie Magnet Loses Its Charge

I can't remember if I told this story here. You may be getting a partial re-run. That's what happens in the summer, right? We're all old enough to remember only three TV stations, and how the summer programs were repeats.

Anyhoo... Hick has a "rich" acquaintance in the city who is getting rid of some collector items. He's been up there three times already. He takes Old Buddy with him, to help load stuff. 

"Do you pay Old Buddy his $15 an hour for this?"

"No. He gets to ride along. And there's stuff he wants to buy, too. So he gets a free ride, and contact with this guy, in exchange for helping me carry my stuff."

I don't even know what items Hick has been "collecting" there. My interest is in what he told me he could get for FREE.

"While we were talking, I found out this guy is renovating his kitchen. He said he's getting all new cabinets and appliances. The cabinets he has are good ones. I asked what was going to happen to the things they tear out. He said, 'The people doing the kitchen will get rid of them.' I said it was a shame to throw them away. I asked if I could buy them. He said I could HAVE them! Cabinets, and a gas range and a refrigerator and a microwave. He said he'll have to figure out when they're doing it, and I'll have to come get them that day. That they'll set them outside, and I have to pick them up."

"That might be hard, for you to rush up there on a moment's notice, with Old Buddy and your trailer. It takes over an hour to get there."

"Yeah. I'm going to ask him on my next trip up there if we can work something out. If he can leave them until I get there later that day, or the next morning."

Last week, Hick made another trip the the rich house. He came home telling a different story.

"Remember them cabinets and stuff I was going to get? They ain't free no more! Apparently the guy had told me I could have them without talking to his wife about it."

"Oh, no! Can you still get them? What will it cost?"

"I can have them for $400."

"WHAT? That's nothing! I can't believe they only want $400 for cabinets, fridge, range, and microwave! Does his wife know he told you that price?"

"She was standin' right there when he said it. So I guess it's okay with her."

"I bet he's getting an earful from her right now."

Still, that's a pretty good bargain. Hick said he will use some of the cabinets in Lap House. And probably the range, since Lap House has gas. Likely the refrigerator and microwave, too. You can't pass up an opportunity like this. I hope there's not another price increase...

Shingles for the Cheap

Cheap House has a new roof. The crew started last Tuesday, and finished up on Monday. We had a bit of rain Friday, but they already had the decking down, and the tarpaper. Hick stopped by and said the inside was dry. Which it wouldn't have been, since the old roof leaked every rain.

There's not much to see on a new roof. Hick got some pictures Monday morning.

This is from the back corner. The opposite side from the snake neighbor. That might be Old Buddy's head. I'm not sure what Hick's roofing guy looks like. I thought he was younger.

There's the back of the house, where the old porch/bedroom was torn off. Obviously, this is before the roofers did their cleanup.

This is the other back corner, on the side of the snake neighbor. 

This view is from the back yard. That might be SilverRedO with Hick's lumber. He couldn't close up that back wall until the roofers were done enough not to be tossing stuff down on him and Old Buddy. He still needs to tear off the rest of the old siding, put in a door and a window, and then put the matching siding on the back wall.

At least the water damage is stopped. There's a new roof to tout for the hopefully-soon listing. And Hick can patch the outside, and start fixing the floor on the inside.

Sorry, Lap House. You're on the back burner.

A Coincidental Premonition

The Pony came out Thursday after errand day. We picked up Chinese for The Pony's lunch, and supper for me and Hick. Our order came with three fortune cookies. The Pony ate one, and left two. I forgot about them, then had one Friday night as a treat after my leftover Chinese. Here is my fortune:

Heh, heh! I was SURE that meant I was going to get a winning scratcher. Better than just money back, you know, because DELIGHTFUL! I saved that fortune so I could show The Pony after I got my big winner. 

Saturday, I only had two winners, for a total of $8. That most certainly was not delightful! Just my money back on a $3 and $5 ticket. I shook my fist at The Universe. It's not nice to toy with Val.

Sunday, I sat down at the kitchen table to scratch that day's scratchers. I was on the first ticket, third number, when I uncovered a winning symbol.

Well! That was most certainly DELIGHTFUL!

That's a $250 winner, on a $10 ticket! 

I'm pretty sure the fortune was just a coincidence. I don't remember The Pony's this time, but a couple weeks ago, it was: "Don't engage in road rage." The Pony has never, ever engaged in road rage. Heh, heh! Maybe it's because of that fortune advice...

Hick's fortune was: "The odds are improving... slowly." Maybe that means he's got a chance of getting the electricity connected to the pole at Cheap House, before winter sets in.

Anyhoo... Val is having a delightful week. So far.

Lap House Needs Help, But Hick is Powerless

Poor Lap House is the neglected stepchild of The(flipping)Victorians. Not by their choice! Hick has put in new electric, and is waiting on the electric company to come run wires from the pole to the house.

"How long have you been waiting on the electric company?"

"The last email I got was on June 2nd, when I asked my buddy who works for them. The inspector. He approved my work, and put in a service order. On June 2nd, he said he didn't know how long it would be. That he had put in the order a week before that. But they are behind on service calls."

"What exactly are they going to do?"

"Run the wire from the pole to the house."

"If you hadn't put in new electric, would they need to do anything?"

"No. If I'd left it the same, it would still be working. But they have to connect it with the new kind of wire. The old kind was three separate wires. They could short theirselves out. The new kind has the three wires wrapped around a grounding rod. So it won't short."

"When did they start using this NEW kind of wire?"

"Oh... back in the '70s."

"Heh, heh! That's not so new! I guess this house is like The Pony's house down the block, built around 1920?"

"Yeah. It's from back then."

Meanwhile, Hick waits. He needs electricity to run his saws to get started on the interior of Lap House.

The Absolute Gall of Entitled Rumpusholes

Val is hot-to-trot, my friends. And not in a good way. No silks or sulky in sight. Simply seething, and ready to share a portion of her cerebellum with a few select rumpusholes encountered earlier this day.

Yes, Val is fuming. Fuming like an exterminator roaming through the classrooms of Steelville Middle School, circa late 80s, wearing a tank and wielding a wand made of metal, spewing chemicals probably not meant for inhalation by young teens.

Here's the deal. I was in the School-Turn Casey's, waiting in line behind one customer, an old man who had just paid, and was taking up the counter while putting away his debit card. I was next. The cashier decided to use that moment to fiddle with the OTHER register. It looked like she was making a money drop. She inserted some bills into something I couldn't see, which made a whirring sound.

"I'll be with you folks in a minute."

Not a problem. I was next. An old man had come up behind me from the left. He was holding a soft-serve ice cream cone. I was holding a winning scratcher worth $75. While the original customer was slowly combing through his wallet to fit his debit card in the right spot, the Old Man behind me stepped up to the unopened register where Cashier was still fiddling.

"I'm just going to give you this money so I can eat my ice cream before it melts." He handed Cashier a handful of change and walked out the door. She nodded.

WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE FREAKIN' NOT-HEAVEN???

That is line-jumping! Or did I miss a new law that decrees ice cream cannot be eaten while standing in line waiting to pay for it. That it can only be eaten outside the store after paying. 

But wait! That's not all. As the original customer took his time stuffing his wallet into a back pocket, and organizing his purchase to pick up, a young woman carrying a large orange soda got in line behind me from the right. She had a toddler on her hip, and three other urchins under five orbiting her.

"I just have my cup. They all wanted one, but I can't afford four." She hoisted the full cup in the air, and walked out! Cashier nodded.

WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE FREAKIN' NOT-HEAVEN???

That is line-jumping. AND stealing! Did I miss a new law that if all you have is a large soda and a lot of kids, you can leave the store without paying? Getting your soda for free?

Then a lady and young boy came up from the right. I swear, I thought she was going to barge ahead of me, too. But Cashier said, "I can help you now." You're darn tootin' you can help me now! You already took two people ahead of me, while I was abiding the unwritten rules of society!

That's how it works, you know. Most children even understand. You get behind the people who were there first, and wait until it's your turn. There's no "I JUST HAVE..." about it. First come, first served. Sometimes you get behind somebody buying a single item, sometimes you get behind somebody with three shopping carts. That's the breaks. 

I didn't advise that man to buy a soft-serve ice cream cone when it's 98 degrees outside. Nor did I pour the mix that made it extra melty into the machine. 

I didn't go to that gal's house (or car backseat) and force her to procreate so rapidly in succession. 

JUST because you want to eat your ice cream outside alone, or have to tow around four kids everywhere you go, doesn't mean that you get to skip the line to pay! Or steal!

A Chinese Linking Ring Puzzle in a Knotted Bag Locked in Houdini's Trunk Stashed in a Corn Maze

Balancing our flip house books is a chore that would have crime scene cleaners, coal miners, and Moroccan leather dye pit workers rejoicing that their jobs are easy by comparison.

Hick is not a good recordkeeper. 

He stashes receipts here and there in SilverRedO. He'll tell me, upon interrogation, "Oh, that's on the dash. It's on the visor. I've got it out in SilverRedO. That's in my billfold somewhere. I gave it to you already. I have no idea what you're talking about."

Hick's filing system is like a box of chocolates!

Hick will tell me one thing, then write down another. It is SO HARD to torture the truth out of him! The one thing he remembers is NUMBERS. Well, if they're not HOUSE numbers. I can usually backtrack enough to match up the specific expenditure with something in Hick's mind.

Hick confuses the streets of the flip houses. He designated one expense to a street where we haven't owned the property since 2017. On his yellow legal page of May cash expenditures, there were The Pony's house, our house, Lap House, Cheap House, and weed-eater repairs. Even though I've asked him to use separate pages for each property. What I get is a list, by date, with scribbles of the amount, and a two/three word description of what it's for. That's the GOOD NEWS!

The bad news is when Hick forgets to tell me when he uses the debit card, or says he used it when instead he used the credit card. Are you sensing my chagrin?

Here's an example from Monday. That morning, I had tried to balance my checkbook (elderlies DO like the old ways) using my bank's automated phone system. There was a charge I had no record of. For $45.29. It was pending, with no explanation of the business. 

That afternoon, I was in the School-Turn Casey's, just a block away from Cheap House. As I was getting scratchers, Hick walked in.

"Getting your tickets?"

"Yeah. Did you put $45.29 on the debit card today?"

"No."

"Are you sure? There's a charge that I didn't make. Think about it."

"No. I didn't put nothin' on it. Unless it was lawnmower gas. That's it. Lawnmower gas a couple days ago. At the Backroads Casey's."

"So you just weren't going to tell me about it?"

"I don't have no receipt. Old Buddy didn't get one."

"Why is Old Buddy using our debit card?"

"He wasn't. I put the card in to pay, then I went inside. Old Buddy was pumping the gas. Then he forgot to hit the button to get a receipt. So I don't have one."

Which in Hick's mind, apparently means that there was no charge! Since he never would have told me about it, had I not grilled him at the counter of another Casey's.

I don't get paid enough for this! Oh, wait. I don't get paid at all.