The Closest We've Been to a Closing without it Being Legally Closed

Wednesday morning, we met at The Pony's house, and Hick drove us over to Bill-Paying Town for the closing on Bargain House. Our time was 10:00 a.m. As we had climbed into A-Cad, Hick said,

"The Buyer ain't gonna sign until tomorrow at 2:00. So we won't be getting a check today."

"WHAT? He better show up! I don't want to sign away our house and not get anything!"

"That ain't gonna happen, Val. But it does seem kind of strange that he doesn't close until tomorrow. I asked our Realtor Guy about that, and he said it was not all that unusual."

"You didn't lock the keys in the house yet, like he told you. DID you?"

"Yeah. I already left the keys in there."

"But we can't get in if he doesn't pay!"

"We can get in, Val. My glass guy still has a key to the back door. And the realtors' box is still on the front door for people to show it."

We were early for our appointment. Went in at 9:50, and had to wait on Realtor Guy to get there. The table in our closing room had a bowl of candy, and a little can of ink pens at one end. That's where The Pony chose to sit. Hick was on The Pony's left, I was on the right, across from Hick. 

Hick and The Pony fell upon the candy like locusts! It was good candy, too. Not just the individual wintergreen Lifesavers like the title company we usually do business with. This was KitKats, Baby Ruths, Nestle Crunch, and foil-wrapped Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Hick and The Pony each had a couple, bemoaning how they really shouldn't.

Forget the candy! As a 28-year teaching veteran, I was all about the INK PENS! They're like catnip to a teacher!

"Pony! Give me a yellow one, and a green one. Oh. I might want a pink one. I can use that when we sign. Here! Keep them for me. I didn't bring in my purse."

The Signing Gal had shown us in, and offered us candy and water or soda. Hick wanted water, so she left to get it. When she returned with Hick's mini bottle of water, she reached for the candy and the pens. "Here. I'll just get these out of your way." Heh, heh! They must have a hidden camera, and figured they were losing money on us.

Signing Gal left again to get copies of our picture IDs. Otherwise called Driver's Licenses.

"Wow! She made sure you guys didn't eat all the candy! And stopped me from adding to my pen collection!"

"They don't care how much candy we eat, Val. Or how many pens you take. They write it off as a cost of doing business."

"Whatever. It seemed kind of abrupt!"

Realtor Guy arrived, and Signing Gal outsmarted me once again. She grabbed three pens out of the can and slid them to us to sign with. The Pony and I had the drab country blue pens, and Hick got a yellow. We signed about 20 papers each. Signing Gal said that she couldn't issue our payment until after The Buyer had come in to complete his signings. We could have checks, or wire transfers.

"When could you have the checks ready?"

"Oh, I'd say 3:00."

"So 3:00 tomorrow? I can come by and pick them up."

"No. That's 3:00 today."

"I thought The Buyer wasn't coming until tomorrow."

"No. He'll be here at 2:00 today."

"Well Realtor Guy told me he was coming tomorrow."

"Did I? I didn't mean to do that!" Said Realtor Guy, checking his phone for the text. "No. I told you today."

"But my text says 'tomorrow.'"

"Well, I sent it last night. So TODAY is TOMORROW."

Signing Gal chuckled. "No wonder you were asking me if that's normal. It's fairly normal on the same day, for a buyer to close after the seller. Let that be something else you've learned, Realtor Guy! When you put something in writing like 'tomorrow,' you put the day of the week after it in parentheses. So the person knows for sure."

"Yeah. Well. That's kind of my fault. I READ it this morning, even though it was sent last night."

"We'll have your checks ready after 3:00. Today!"

"I'll come get them tomorrow."

"I could pick them up and bring them to you when I pick up ours, " said Realtor Guy.

"I don't know where I'll be then. My dog has to go to the vet for shots at 3:00, and I've got some mowing to do at home. So I can get them tomorrow, but thanks anyway."

So... we had OUR part of the closing. No checks yet.

But there's MORE! Tomorrow...

For Real This Time?

Thevictorians continue to chase the carrot at the end of the stick. That carrot being the completed sale of Bargain House. Right now we feel like three Charlie Browns, running to kick that football held by The Buyer, Lucy.

Let's see... when we last discussed Bargain House, our Realtor Guy had issued an ultimatum to The Buyer's Realtor. It was Friday evening, April 17. If we didn't have a closing date and time by Friday, April 24, the deal was off.

After Hick had gone to bed, he got a text from Realtor Guy saying that The Buyer's Realtor thought they would be ready on Monday or Tuesday. But he was willing to give them until Thursday. Well. That raised more questions. Ready to actually close? Or ready to give us an appointment date and time for closing? How were they going to get a closing date set on Monday, with financial institutions closed over the weekend? And you can't just call them on Monday, and say, "We want a closing appointment for today."

It's like we keep getting updates with no real information. That's not our Realtor Guy's fault. He can only tell us what THEY tell him. Monday came and went, with no further communication. Just as we expected. Until Hick checked his phone at 5:30 a.m. Tuesday, and saw a text from our Realtor Guy at 9:30 Monday night.

"Sorry for the late text. I just talked to The Buyer's Realtor a couple hours ago. He said he thinks the financial institution will be ready to close tomorrow [Tuesday]. The Buyer should be able to sign then, too. I'll have to talk to [redacted] at the title company to get a time."

"Wait! So that means TODAY? We're closing TODAY? But we don't have a time yet? How can that be? And what does it mean about the buyer? There's no closing until The Buyer actually BUYS the house! So it does no good if we show up to sign and he doesn't!"

"I don't know, Val. I'm just reading what he sent me."

"So I'm supposed to get ready and sit around and wait to see if we get a time? Then you'll have to come get me, and we go pick up The Pony? That seems like really short notice. If you take the Acadia today, I can pick up The Pony and meet you in town so you don't have to come all the way out here."

"Like I said, I don't know. Maybe it won't be today. Maybe The Buyer works, and will have to get a time when he can get there. I'm going to be mowing yards in town. I'll let you know if I hear anything."

I called The Pony at 8:00, to be ready and on-call in case we had to get to the closing. "Dad thinks he probably won't hear anything until after 9:00, and that he has things to do until 10:00. But it COULD be any time after that. So I guess just be prepared."

I took my meds early. Took a shower early. Then settled down to the business of actively waiting. At 10:43, I got a text from Hick saying we would close on Wednesday morning.

We'll see...

Of course this comes after I paid the three utility bills, and the day after Hick took the insurance payment for the next six months. I would have paid them a couple weeks  earlier if I knew The Universe would use that inconvenience to kick this closing into action.

Hick said he's NOT mowing the yard at Bargain House. The Buyer can do that himself!

Who You Gonna Call? Hick Fixer.

Hick seems to be on-call 24/7/365. It's not part of his just-over-$300 a month "job" with the senior apartments. The other guy was never on call like that. He basically just collected the rent every month, for the four apartments that were occupied at the time. For the same money Hick started at, and worked the first year. Nobody would have thought to call HIM for the most recent problem.

"My friend who runs the kitchen called and said there was water dripping from the ceiling. I went by, and found out it was a water heater leaking up in one of the apartments. So we had to get a new water heater. I took out the ceiling tiles in the kitchen. Now I have to get new ones and put them up. 

I told my friend, 'Maybe I should just leave it like it is. Because of that guy with the city, who complained that I shouldn't be doing any work on this building, because I'm not a licensed contractor.' She said, 'Now let's not be too strict about this. Maybe you should go ahead and fix it, and see if he complains. Then you can say you are sorry.' I told her, 'I can say that since it was OUR water heater that caused the problem for HIS kitchen, I thought I was the one responsible for fixing it.' She said that sounded like a good plan."

"You'll get paid for doing all that work, right? Other than just your salary?"

"Oh, yeah. I'll get my contractor's fee."

Heh, heh. Even though he's not a licensed contractor. Hick is paid by the board of the nonprofit organization running the apartments, not by the city, which technically owns the building, but leases it to the nonprofit for a dollar.

Procuring Drugs Has Become More Difficult

I used my pharmacy's automated system to call in two prescription refills on Friday morning. It was before 8:00. Both of them had refills remaining, so I believed the message that told me they would be ready after 11:00. I get a text once they are done and ready for pickup. When I hadn't received that text by 2:00, I called the pharmacy. 

"Just checking to see if my prescriptions are ready."

"Let me see... No. We are running behind. Our automatic pill-counting machine is down, so it's taking us extra time. I can have your prescriptions ready in about an hour."

"Yes. That will be fine. It will take me that long before I'm in town. Thank you."

In fact, it was only a speedy 50 minutes before I got the text. I was able to pick up my drugs with no problem at their drive-thru window.

Meanwhile, Hick was having his own drug-seeking issue. He has glaucoma, and had just been to the eye doctor on Wednesday for a regular appointment. Hick came home on Friday evening, and immediately thrust his phone into my face.

"I can't get my eye drops at my pharmacy unless I go to this link and update my payment information."

"That sounds sketchy. I don't know about that..."

"Here. Look at it."

"Is that even their website? Maybe it's a scam."

"The gal in the pharmacy sent it to me. I told her no, I'll just pay for it here when it comes in. She said they cain't do that. I'd have to drive to the city to pick it up if I wanted to pay for it in person. I have to go to this link and update it. They they'll send my eye drops here to my pharmacy."

"That's crazy! Let me see what it looks like. Well. It says it's your pharmacy in the URL. The page looks official. It wants your birthdate. That seems sketchy! I guess I'll put it in. Since you got this from the gal at your pharmacy. Okay. Now it wants a type of payment. I guess we'll use the debit card. Read me your numbers..."

I had all the info entered. Then when I hit the DONE button, the screen stalled.

"Here. Take your phone outside, and maybe it will go."

Hick wandered around on the back porch. Then went to the front porch. Then came back in.

"It got this message at the top, in red."

SOMETHING WENT WRONG. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

"When do you need this medicine?"

"It's no hurry. Just by Monday."

"Well, since they have to SEND IT FROM THE CITY, I guess we'll have to try this again tomorrow or Sunday. So the info will be in Monday, for them to send your medicine down here."

We tried on Saturday morning before 6:00, and the info went through. Of course we had to enter it all again.

These newfangled ways are almost harder than when an old granny-lady foraged in the woods for roots and herbs to grind with a mortar and pestle.

Walking Papers Might Be in Order

Hick talked to Realtor Guy on the phone Friday. Realtor Guy still had no new information. He said he had sent an email to The Buyer's Realtor earlier in the day, and was supposed to hear something by that evening. I don't know if he actually did, or not.

Hick had called to tell Realtor Guy that the work on the Bargain House windows was completely finished. It cost us another $200, because one of the windows was a different size, and needed other parts than the ones that worked for the other two windows. Hick said he will also get a bill for the second "house call" for the repairs. But that the windows are done.

Realtor Guy sent Hick a message later, thanking him for being patient, and acting in a professional manner to complete his part of the agreement for the contract on Bargain House. He also said that he had told The Buyer's Realtor that he expects a closing date and time by the end of the day Friday, April 25. If there is no closing date scheduled by then, 

WE ARE WALKING! The deal is off!

Thevictorian triumvirate agrees with this tactic. Bargain House has been tied up now, waiting on a closing date, since March 8. It needs to go back on the market if The Buyer and his so-called realtor can't get it together. As The Pony says, the families with school-age kids who are looking to buy a house will be ready to view properties and get a deal done over the next few months. 

We're not here to hold a house in lay-a-way for a wishy-washy buyer and incompetent realtor.

Hick Gets a Diagnosis Off His Chest

After 18 days of waiting to find out what his nurse practitioner saw in his chest x-ray, Hick finally got an answer. It came from a cardiologist on Thursday. 

"The pressure on my spine is from arthritis. She says I have some blockage in some coronary arteries. That it's not unusual for a man my age, with diabetes and high blood pressure. But she doesn't want to okay me for the surgery until I have a stress test and some other test. She doesn't think there will be time to have that done by next Friday's surgery date. So I'll tell my NP's office to have the surgery re-scheduled."

Which they did, and Hick's surgery will now be in August. He doesn't have a date yet for the stress test or whatever else. This is Hick's rendition from his conversation with the cardiologist. I'm hoping it's fairly accurate. Hick is sometimes an unreliable narrator!

Turns out the MRI that Hick has been harping about, trying so hard to get scheduled, was actually a CT Scan all along! You'd think he might have let that slip at least once, in the 18 days he's been talking about it. But no. He called me after the cardiologist appointment, referring to a CT Scan, and I had to ask if he'd had some other test. Nope.

Anyhoo... we don't feel too concerned about the cardiologist's findings. We'll wait (who knows how long!) to see what the stress test reveals.

House Hold Update

We are still waiting for a closing date for the sale of Bargain House! It seems like this has taken forever. The original closing date was April 6, which was one month after we signed the contract (March 8), which was 16 days after the listing went up.

WHY is this sale still on hold? Hick communicates regularly with our Realtor Guy. Who only knows what The Buyer's realtor tells him. 

At the risk of being a pest, Hick sent a text on Tuesday night, asking Realtor Guy if the house is sold or not. Should we open up the listing? In case this sale doesn't go through?

Realtor Guy replied on Wednesday morning that he was expecting a reply from The Buyer's Realtor later that day. But that if the deal continues to stall with no explanation, we might want to back out of it.

Here's the latest, from Wednesday (April 15) afternoon. Realtor Guy sent Hick a copy/paste of the message he got from The Buyer's Realtor. It went a little something like this:

"The Buyer still wants the house. His financial institution has approved his loan for the house. We are waiting on HUD to approve the contract."

Well. That certainly clears it up, doesn't it? What in the Not-Heaven does that mean??? Will HUD have to send an inspector or an appraiser? Or just look over the contract? It's a federal entity, you know. So nobody can guess how long this process might take.

Meanwhile, it seems like we've sold Bargain House. Right?