Friday Night Free-For-All, Courtesy of Hick's Harem

Hick's Harem left him alone last week. It was NOT the start of a trend.

Hick was home at 4:00 on Friday. He must have spent less time shooting the bull with his cronies, in his excitement to get home an wait for the season premiere of his Gold Rush show at 7:00. He went outside with the dogs for an hour. Then went to have a shower so he could sit around in tighty-whites and have supper in his recliner, then watch his show.

While he was in the shower, I heard his phone ringing in the living room. He returned the call when he got out at 5:20. I was getting ready to fix his supper when I heard him giving instructions on the phone.

"The easiest way is to get the key downstairs in the EMT box. It's inside, but by the front door. A little black box. There's a master key in it. Just punch in the code. It's [# # # #]. Then please put the key back, in case somebody else needs it. Okay? All right. Thank you, Ma'am."

That seemed overly polite. But you know Hick and his Harem. Soon enough, every one of them will have lost their key, if for no other reason than to get Hick's attention on a Friday night!

"Let me guess. It was your Harem."

"No. Well. Actually, it was one of my guys. The one who likes to drink. He's locked out. That was his daughter. He called her to see what to do, and she called me."

"Will she be able to find the key?"

"She should. She's a teacher. With your sister's daughter Niecy. Or at least she knows Niecy. She said that when I was showing them the apartment a while back."

At 5:30, the Hick's phone rang again. I figured the "teacher" was having trouble with the key. But no. I could hear a buzzer blaring, from Hick's loud volume, or coming out his other ear.

"Yeah. I can hear it. Somebody's pulled the fire alarm. I'll have to come over and turn it off. There's no smoke, right? No sign of a fire? Well, just hang on and I'll be there as soon as I can."

"I bet it was that daughter looking for the key!"

"They're in different places, Val. I don't know WHO did it."

"Your Harem. It IS Friday night..."

Hick said that call was another one of his four men tenants. He rushed to put on shorts and a shirt. The drive to the apartments takes 23 minutes.

At 6:20, Hick called to say he was on his way home. I started his supper. He got home in time to fill his plate and sit down for his show.

"It was the old man. The daughter told him how to get the master key. When I got there, he said, 'I pulled on it but didn't get a key.' He had pulled the fire alarm!"

"Is it by the key box? Does it look the same?"

"It's about two feet under the key box. It's a regular fire alarm!"

"You mean like a red thingy on a school wall, where you have to pull the bar to set off the alarm. And says IN CASE OF FIRE?"

"Yeah. And the key box is about 2 inches by 4 inches, and black, with a number panel on the front. I guess he got confused. He seemed sober to me."

"Were the other people mad at him?"

"I don't know. But the one gal helped everybody get down the stairs and out of the building. The elevators shut down for a fire alarm. I called my boss on the way over there, to tell him. And asked him to call the fire chief and tell him there was no fire, before he called in 14 fire departments from other towns! I didn't want to deal with him complaining to me!"

There's no such thing as an uneventful Friday night for Hick. The male harem must have been feeling slighted, and has taken to using tactics of Hick's regular Harem.

Hardly Happenings

Very little was done on either flip house this week. As I mentioned before, Hick has been home by 2:00 every day, and took Tuesday off to drive to the city for some cabinets. Then on Thursday he was blindsided by Old Buddy, who had "forgotten" to tell Hick that he had jury duty, and was chosen!

"He said he hated it. That he didn't want to sit in a courtroom all day. But you know he's loving it. He gets out of working for me, and he feels important, and he'll get jury duty pay. He loves having jury duty like a kid loves candy!"

Hick got a call from a lunch lady at the Senior Center on Thursday afternoon. At first I thought it was one of his Harem, because he was being really nice and polite. He said no, just one of the cooks, complaining about a smell. The meal program is in the bottom level of the apartment building. She said something smelled dead. Hick said he was aware, and that he had spent all day Wednesday looking for the source, which seems to be on the third floor. It's not a PERSON, thank goodness. But Hick can't figure out what or where it is. He mentioned the possibility of something being stuck in the chimney. Like a squirrel or raccoon. I don't know how he's going to figure it out. I suppose it will eventually stop stinking.

Just like the flip houses will eventually be ready to list for sale.

YOU Tell ME

Somebody's sellin', and I ain't buyin' it!

Here we go again. Another period of extra scammers who are trying to test Val's patience. I don't know who's responsible for doling out my phone and email like cheap candy on October 31st. 

Every night (technically early morning) between 12:00 and 1:00 a.m., I get an email from some gal with an insurance agency wanting me to remember to DocuSign a form. No thank you, Ma'am. Even though it's a company with which we do flip house business, it is not in your state, and you are not our agent. Also, my name is not Robert. And why can't you at least operate during standard business hours?

This Robert guy must be forking out money all over the place. I get emails saying that a car dealership has not received the documents he was supposed to send them. That's in South Carolina. Maybe it's about his insurance, heh, heh!

Anyhoo... I also get calls, which are easier to ignore. If I don't answer, I don't wonder what it's all about. There's one number that keeps calling. It's from my supplemental health insurance. I know, because sometimes they leave a message telling me to call them back.

AS IF! Now the dang telemarketers want ME to do THEIR work! After so many years of actually answering, only to find out they want to push some "benefit" like mail order prescriptions, and don't want to take NO for an answer... I quit wasting my time answering. Here's the thing, which I explained to them. I live a mile up a gravel road. I don't trust my 90 days of prescriptions to actually reach me when I need them. My mail is not secure. Anybody driving by can help themselves. 

Anyhoo... the health insurance company calls several times a day. Usually when I'm driving. They called early a couple days ago, before I left for town. I answered, my intention to tell them I was not interested, and to stop calling me.

"Hello? I'm with Your Health Insurance, and I'm calling to speak with Val Thevictorian."

"This is Val."

"I know that your birthdate is [Month/Day]. Can you please give me the year to verify your identity?"

"No. You have all the information. I shouldn't need to tell you."

"Well. I am required to ask you that to make sure I don't release any medical information to the wrong person."

"YOU called ME. So you already know that. I'm not giving out that information. What do you need to talk to me about?"

"I can't tell you that without verifying your identity."

"You send me statements in the mail, and offers and notices. Anybody could open them. I figure if it's something important, you can mail it to me. So I guess we're done talking, because I'm not giving you my birth year. No need to stay on the phone or call me again. You have a nice day."

A couple minutes later, I got an email about the Silver Sneakers program. The email didn't ask for my birth year. It was my LAST CHANCE to sign up and take online classes about moving my body.

Lap House MIGHT Get a Little Attention This Week

Hick said over the weekend that he planned to start working on Cheap House for three hours in the mornings, and Lap House for three hours in the afternoons. He broke the news to Old Buddy, who had said he was ready to get back to work.

Monday morning, I mentioned that I'd read the Chester, Illinois bridge was going to be demolished. Hick has taken this bridge many times in his travels. It's about an hour away from here. His ears perked up.

"That would be something to see!"

He googled, and found out it would be happening that morning. Not convenient for him, though I suspect if I'd told him about it the night before, he would have gone.

Tuesday, Hick and Old Buddy went to the city, to pick up the laundry room cabinets from the rich guy's kitchen renovation. Did he do laundry in the kitchen, I wonder? Anyhoo... Hick was home by 2:00. So the flippin' plans were not realized that day.

Here it is Wednesday, as I type. Hick forgot his phone at home, and came out to get it around 10:00. Then he was headed back to the Senior Center for lunch. I'm trying to figure out when all this work is getting done

Hick DID send me some pictures from inside Lap House, after the hired carpenter guy's $1000 job. Hick said he had two helpers.

Hick even labeled the pictures for me, since I DON'T KNOW NOTHIN'! This used to be the living room at the front of Lap House. It's being converted to a bedroom. There's the front door. That inset area is going to be the closet in the bedroom. Hick said the hall by the door/closet area is 36 inches, and past that, it widens to over four feet. You can see the framing for the bedroom door.

This isn't even a whole wall! Just shims so the wall is not off-kilter when the drywall is put up. It's a 1920s house, and not everything was square. This will be the new living room. You can see a sliver of the hall that leads to the front door. The white door is the entrance to the existing front bedroom.

The Viking gas stove from the rich guy's renovation is currently parked in the laundry closet that just got framed in. This is on the back wall of the house. In the living room.

It doesn't look like $1000 worth of work to me, seeing as how Hick bought the materials. But I suppose skilled help costs more than Hick's regular helpers.

Hopefully Hick will stick to his plan to work on both houses each day. I haven't gotten any new pictures as proof. These were from Sept 22, and work not even done by Hick. By the time you read this it will be at least Thursday. Another "work" week gone. The (three-day) weekends are devoted to the SUS2.5.

The FREEbie Magnet Pulls in More Treasure

The Pony and I need to keep close tabs on Hick, lest he fill up Lap House with FREEbies. The Viking gas stove from the rich guy's kitchen renovation is there now. And a few days ago, I found out Hick scored some more flip-worthy goods.

"There's this lady who eats lunch at the Senior Center. She said she had some paint that she wasn't going to use, and did I want it." [We all know that answer to that!]

"One of your Harem?"

"No. Just a lady."

"Why would she ask YOU if you wanted it?"

"She knows I do work like that. Her brother and sister-in-law gave her a bunch of paint about three years ago, thinking she would use it to have her house painted, inside and out. Her house really does need paint. The siding is dried out. It's not a money thing. She just don't want to deal with it. She said I could have it, if I'd come get it, just to get it out of her house."

"What color?"

"White. It's a LOT of paint. Way more than she would need. There are six 5-gallon buckets of paint! Only one of them had been opened. There wasn't much gone at all. Those buckets go for $250 to $280. So that's about $1500 worth of paint."

"Can you use it on the flip houses?"

"Yeah. There's plenty for more than two flip houses. I've got it in Lap House, so it don't get affected by the weather."

I hope Hick doesn't plan on buying more flip houses right now, just to use that paint!

The Pony is Hick's FREE-Loader

On my way to pick up The Pony last Thursday for Errand Day, I passed by the Beauty Shop. You know, the little house that was part of our Double Hovel flip. It's street is a shortcut to The Pony's house. Of course I always look at it, and silently (or not) berate the new owner for turning that cute little house into a workshop. It has looked the same since we sold it. Just unoccupied. So I've held out hope that he'd leave the little house alone. The hope was dashed on Thursday.

Sitting out front on the wooden handrail by the sidewalk was an object. At first, I thought it was the base of an old computer. Really old. Like maybe from an Apple 2e. Or an old dot-matrix printer. It was that same shade of tan. Maybe I should get new glasses. Or at least wear them when I'm driving.

Anyhoo, as I went by, I saw a sign on the object. FREE! 

By the time I had The Pony riding shotgun, on our way to Walmart, I realized what it was.

"Pony. I think there's a FREE range hood over at the Beauty Shop. We're going that way. Let's go by and make sure. I guess that guy is actually tearing out stuff to make his workshop. I wonder if Dad would want it. Text him and see."

The Pony did, and got an immediate response. "Sure. It's probably the one I just put in."

The object was still there, and it WAS a range hood. The Pony hopped out and got it. Put it in T-Hoe's rear. This family can't leave a perfectly good range hood sit around for somebody else to snatch!

Once home, I told Hick to get his range hood and put it somewhere else. He chose the back of the Gator, along with a bunch of other junk that I'm pretty sure was not FREE.

"It's brand new! The one I put in the Beauty Shop. I'll find somewhere to use it."

Hick and The Pony. The FREEbie Magnet and the FREE-Loader.

A Colorful Blast From Hick's Past

As The Pony and I were leaving Country Mart a couple weeks ago, a vehicle pulled in.

"I'm getting a picture of that for your dad. It looks like the kind of truck he had when we first met. Except the bed of this one is longer. But his was all different colors, too. The people at the pool would see him drive in on the weekend, after he'd picked up HOS and The (little future) Veteran. They'd say, 'Here comes Sandford and sons!'"

I wasn't sure of the year. I thought it was a 1965. I was right! Except Hick said his didn't have that roof shelf thingy sticking out, and he had a full back window, not the little one.

There's the long bed. Hick's version had a short bed. Which I suppose was just a regular bed. Hick's was darker in color. I can't really describe it. A lot of rust and red and dark blue, I think.

Anyhoo... this was back when I first met Hick. I lived in a townhouse apartment, and Hick lived across the parking lot in a regular 1-bedroom ground floor apartment. We met at the pool. When Hick started driving me around in his truck, he said he was planning on getting it painted. An Earl Scheib special ($29.95), he said! Money was tight then, as he had just been divorced less than a year.

Anyhoo... Hick had some spray paint, and painted only the passenger door. Just for me, he said. The top around the window was white, like this one in the picture. And the bottom of the door was royal blue. Only the best for Hick's new woman, heh, heh!

Anyhoo... I showed Hick these pictures of the truck, and he said:

"Oh, I know that truck. The lady who drives it delivers meals for the Senior Center."

Well. Not that day. A man got out of this truck.

The Pony liked the story of his dad painting the truck door just for me.