Hick Was Mown Away

Since Hick had surgery last week, our grass has continued to grow. He's not supposed to sit on hard surfaces, or get bounced around for a couple weeks. He last mowed the front yard/field and BARn field and adjacent road frontage of our other 10-acre plot on Wednesday before his surgery. Hick LOVES his zero-turn mower, and even in the oppressive heat, he kept the grass trimmed.

Anyhoo... Hick had HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) mowing the yards of the properties in town. They're the most urgent. Especially Lap House, which is over in Sis-Town, where the mayor is not a fan of Hick. It wouldn't surprise me if she carries a ruler to stop by our properties there to see when she can send out a nuisance letter, heh, heh! 

The plan was for HOS to come out here and mow on Wednesday, but it rained a lot on Wednesday morning. The grass wasn't dried out by 1:00. Too wet to mow efficiently. Of course that rain helped the grass grow some more. Thursday was no good for HOS, because he had a previous appointment and couldn't get away in time. 

Friday morning, Hick was off to his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5). I asked if HOS would be mowing in the afternoon, since Hick only stays until noon on Fridays. "I don't know. If I can get ahold of him, maybe."

Around 12:10, I heard mowing in the front yard/field. I waited for Hick to come inside, but he didn't. I figured he had HOS mowing, and he was puttering around over in the BARn or the Freight Container Garage. I went about my business at the kitchen table, innernetting on HIPPIE. I saw the zero-turn mower come around the end of the garage to mow the back yard. I looked to make sure it wasn't Hick! Nope. Jeans when he was in shorts. A bright orange shirt when he was wearing white. And a bucket hat, when he always wears a cap. I noticed that HOS was mowing really fast. But there's a lot of grounds to cover.

At 2:00, I got a text from Hick:

"Our neighbors mowed the grass for us."

"Wow! Why?"

The person I had assumed was HOS was not HOS at all! I had to call for more details. Hick said he was coming home with HOS to mow, and saw two of our neighbors mowing, with the front yard/field, the BARn field, and the next plot almost done. He stopped to talk to them. Nabe 1 said they wanted to help out. Hick offered to pay for the gas they'd used, but they declined.

"Earlier in the day, I had put something on my Facebook about having surgery, and not being able to do anything physical for a couple weeks. But that my shop was still open. Nabe 1 sent me a message asking if I was okay. I told him I was. He said he was worried, because of how I never let our grass get that high. That was the last I talked to him. He didn't say anything about mowing."

When Hick got home later that evening, he put a message on the Facebook page of our enclave, naming those two neighbors, and thanking them for the mowing. Our across the road neighbor put a message in response. "Hick Thevictorian, you have the nicest lawn of anybody in our association! If you ever need anything, let us know. We can mow your yard for you next time." Hick thanked her, but said he would use HOS, who had already been contracted to do the mowing.

What a nice gesture from these neighbors. We are not close with any of them, but they're stand-up guys who occasionally talk to Hick. What goes around comes around, and Hick's good-deeding has come home to roost. The only loser is HOS, who was expecting to earn some money. I'm pretty sure he'll get over it.

A Typical Friday

You know what Friday means around here. A CALL FROM HICK'S HAREM! Now they can't even wait until evening. They've got to get their Hick fix earlier and earlier.

I was in town at 3:39 when I got a text from Hick:

"I'm taking HOS [Hick's Oldest Son] home and then running by the apartments, a lady lost her key."

OF COURSE SHE DID! It's FRIDAY! Keys only get lost on Fridays. And only women lose them. Not the four men who live in the senior apartments. And let's not forget Hick put in a KEY BOX for all the residents, so they know what to do if they don't have their key. You know I had to get the details when Hick came home at 5:00.

"Which one was this?"

"The youngest one. The one who's kinda goofy. She helps all the rest of them, because she's younger and can do more."

"She's not the one with the shoe keeping her door from closing? Or the bra sunbather? Or the one who got the drinker lady locked up? Or the one who needed two air conditioners? I'm sure I've heard this name before."

"No. But she did get into it with the drinker lady before. The drinker lady was mad at her. It's not the one who called the police."

"I thought you had a key box so everybody could get in, and you wouldn't have to drive to town."

"I do have a key box. But she BROKE her key. So I didn't want her taking the spare out of the box."

"She could have used it to unlock her door, and put it back."

"Actually, she called me earlier, and I forgot about it. She got in with her key, but she was trying to lock the door back, and it broke off. So she cain't leave to go nowhere because she cain't lock her door."

"So what did you do?"

"I had a spare key made for her. I don't want her having a master key. I went by to give it to her, but she wasn't there. So I left it on her table."

"Wait! I thought you said you had to go because she couldn't leave. But apparently, she COULD!"

"Well, she did, but she left her door unlocked."

Hick's reasoning is starting to sound like the way his Harem thinks. Who knows where that gal went. Maybe the Harem convened, to plan new ways to draw Hick back to town on Fridays. I guess three days is a long time to go Hickless.

Lawns, But Not Forgotten

Hick has not been able to work on the flip houses since his surgery last Thursday. He can't lift over 10 pounds. He doesn't need to be crawling around. So the most that's been done is the mowing of the yards. Hick isn't even supposed to do that. Not supposed to sit on hard surfaces, or get jounced around. He hired HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) to do that chore. In fact, HOS is coming out later to mow our front yard/field.

Anyhoo... Cheap House has not been forgotten. It is SO CLOSE to being finished. Finished enough to sell to another flipper, that is. The last thing Hick wants to do is finish replacing the kitchen floor. He says one day of work will do it. But he can't climb down into the floor joists. He might be able to CLOSELY supervise Old Buddy or HOS into doing what's left. But it's easier to do it himself. We'll see what he chooses. Hick THINKS he will resume yard-mowing next week. He also says now he can lift up to 20 pounds. I think he needs to be cautious.

There's the state of the kitchen floor underneath. Those joists definitely needed replacing. It's a dirty job. But Old Buddy and Hick had to do it.

That's the state of their progress on the day before Hick had his surgery. Basically, they just have to measure and cut some wood and nail it down for the subfloor. That's all Hick plans to do to this flipping flipper. The six weeks of extreme heat really slowed down the work on this house without air conditioning.

Hick is already looking ahead to his next project, which is stripping the plumbing out of Lap House.

Will the Real Pink Flowering Tree Please Stand Up

You may recall that Lap House has a tree in the front yard, with pink flowers. Not a lot of flowers. I don't know my trees or my flowers. The only pink flowering tree I know is a mimosa. Their leaves are distinctive, and the flowers all wispy. My grandma had several mimosas, and this tree is not it!

I went by Lap House for another picture out T-Hoe's window. You can see there are several flowers, but not a lot. It's not like a redbud tree, or a flowering dogwood (our state tree!). You can see that this one has a double trunk.

I tried to get a closeup of some flowers. My phone wasn't very cooperative. But I DID manage to zoom in on this photo to get one particular blossom.

I consulted my estranged BFF Google, and found a link for "45 Pink Flowering Trees (With Pictures): Identification Guide." 

I scrolled and scrolled. I think HIPPIE shut down twice from overheating. And then, on the 45th tree (ain't that always how it goes?) I think I identified this tree!

Pink Flowering Rose of Sharon. Also called Hibiscus syriacas. 

What do you think? It was the single blossom that fished me in. Also, I could see that the trunk(s) and leaves remind me of a shrub. Plus, it is blooming in the summer.

Anyhoo... it's a pleasant-looking tree to have in a front yard.

Hick Has a Bittersweet Interaction With His Harem

Hick was at the senior apartments on Monday, despite his recent operation. He was going to his office when he saw one of his Harem standing in her door.

"It's the 88-year-old woman. She was only wearing a T-shirt, and she was sweeping hair out into the hallway. She cuts her own hair sometimes. She saw me, and she said, 'The first time I saw you, I knew I loved you. You are so nice.'"

"Is she the one who was only wearing her bra while sitting outside sunbathing when it was over 100 degrees?"

"No."

"What else has she done?"

"Nothin'. She's a really nice lady, but she gets confused. Her daughter and son just took her car away from her."

"Maybe that's best. She might be out somewhere and forget how to get home."

"I seen her one day, out by our bank. She was pulling out as I went by. I told her later that I saw her out driving. And she said, 'No you didn't! If you saw someone, it wasn't me. I haven't been out.' Anyway, at lunch she told everybody how she knew she loved me the first time she saw me. She probably won't even remember it tomorrow."

"Wait! Is she the one who took her medicine wrong?"

"Yeah. That's her. She hasn't been doing well lately. I kind of think it's an issue with her medicine, but who am I to say."

"That's sad. It's good that she won't be out driving, though."

Hick is pretty attached to his Harem.

There's Something Phishy Going On

I got a phone call Monday morning around 10:30. It was on my cell phone. The screen said Privte Caller. Normally, I would not answer such a call. But with Hick galivanting about three towns just four days after surgery, I didn't want to take a chance on it being related to something Hick-ish. 

The lady on the phone asked for Hick. First name and last name.

"He's not here."

"This is Someone Somebody with Such-and-Such Bank. I'm calling to talk to Hick about a deal we're working on for him. What is your name?"

"I don't know why you need to know MY name."

"Who am I speaking with? Are you Hick's spouse? Or his mother?"

[What in the NOT-HEAVEN??? Hick's mother has been dead since before I met him. Hick is 72 years old. Do I sound like a woman in her 90s?]

"This is his wife. But there's no reason to give you my name."

"Okay. I was just looking for what to call you instead of Mr. and Mrs. Thevictorian."

[What's wrong with THAT? It seems to be a common practice in the business world.]

"Now, can you tell me Hick's birth date?"

"No. Why would I tell you that? I'm not giving out that information to somebody who calls me."

"Well, I already have it. I was just asking you to verify it, to make sure I'm talking to somebody who has a right to this information."

"There's no way I'm giving you that information. Calls like this are usually scams, and I don't need to tell you anything personal. I don't know of any 'deal' he would be working on with you. Why don't you just call HICK? He has a phone..."

"All right then. You have a good day."

AS IF anybody would give out that kind of stuff to a random caller they never heard of! One who blocks the number they're calling from. If it was an actual business, there's no need to show a Private Caller.

Of course I called Hick, and asked if he was working on some kind of deal with a bank. You never know with his business. But since I take care of all his paperwork, you'd think I would have a clue.

"Nope. I ain't doin' no business with no bank. Nobody's called me."

"If somebody calls, don't give out any information! Heh, heh! She asked if I was your MOTHER!"

"That would be quite a surprise, talking to her!"

"Yeah, I know! There's probably not good reception six feet under. If she really had your birth date, would she have assumed she was talking to your MOM? That's crazy."

So strange, that such a stranger would have MY phone number, and not Hick's, the person she's working on a deal with, and has his birth date...

Green and Purple Plaid Hair

While I was in line at the Gas Station Chicken Store on Thursday afternoon, a young woman came in the door. She had a little girl with her, maybe 6-7 years old. She looked around. At first I thought they came in for the bathrooms at the front by the door. But then she shooed the little girl over to the side of the counter, by the closed register. 

The Lady appeared to be in her late 20s. She started rummaging in her purse, and putting handfuls of coins on the glass counter. I stepped up to do my lottery business while she was counting her coins into stacks. The Lady turned to look at me.

"I love your shirt!"

"Thank you! Green is my favorite color, and I like pastels."

"It's my kind of thing."

That's when I realized that The Lady's hair was a match for my shirt! Her dark hair had wide strands of the green and purple running through it! It actually looked okay.

"Oh, I see what you mean. It matches your hair!"

"Yes! And I love that little purple car out there, too!"

Indeed, there was a matching car out at one of the gas pumps. I finished up my transaction, and The Lady told Fave (my favorite cashier), "I'd like $21.54 of gas on Pump 4."

I had been prepared to offer to pay if The Lady was short on her change. She gave off a good vibe.