More Harem Hijinx

Shockingly enough, there were no phone calls on Friday night from Hick's Harem! Not even the gal with the dog who needed his shot record for moving at the first of next month, even though she isn't moving until the END of next month because she made a clerical error with HUD. 

Don't let that missing phone call lull you into a false sense of complacency. A new issue has arisen. I called Hick on Wednesday, shortly after noon, about collar-training our roaming doggy, Pepper, and about his squirrel-hunting buddy roaming our acreage.

"What are you doing right now?"

"I'm at the apartments, putting signs in the laundry room. Somebody complained that they saw a woman bringing in laundry. It's happened a couple times. I think it's one of the gal's granddaughter. And there's a bunch of clothes laying around. A BUNCH of clothes."

"Well, you can't prove that they're hers."

"It's got a bunch of kids' clothes in it! They're all over the place."

"You should lock them up in your office!"

"I need to throw them away."

"NO! Don't throw anybody's clothes away! They're already trying to do their laundry for free. They can't afford new clothes."

"Yeah. I guess not."

"This way, she'll have to ASK for the clothes. So you know for sure it's her, and you can tell her you thought maybe some homeless person got in, and it's not a public laundry. That you almost threw the clothes away. Then she'll get the message that she shouldn't come back."

"My signs all say LAUNDRY IS FOR TENANTS ONLY. I have three signs on each floor's laundry room. One on the door, one above the washer, and one on the window by the dryer."

"What if she keeps doing it? What will you tell her grandma?"

"I'll tell her she can't let anybody else use the laundry, and if it happens again, she'll need to find somewhere else to live, because that's not allowed."

I can understand why the other residents don't want a granddaughter using their laundry room. She takes up the washer and dryer and all the space, when they might want to rightfully do their free laundry that's a perk of living in the apartments.

Now I'm curious how this story will end.

My Deep Cover Agent Brings Word of a Betrayal

Hick has stored the rich guy cabinets at Cheap House. I asked about that, because we have a BARn and a Freight Container Garage that SHOULD have room to store such items. Unless, of course, Hick has junked them up with his hoarder stuff. I'm pretty sure that the BARn is full. And probably the FCG as well.

"Why are you putting that kitchen stuff in Cheap House?"

"Because the trailer was just down the street, and it was easy to unload them there."

I accepted this excuse. The stove is supposed to be installed at Lap House, which is only a couple miles away. I still don't know exactly where the stove is. But I thought maybe it could have been in the way of the guy hired for $1000 to build some walls there. I suppose he is done. Hick sent some pictures.

That's a story for another day.

Here are the cabinets that came out of the rich guy's kitchen:

The plan is to use the cabinets in our flip house(s). There are too many for just one flip house.

In telling The Pony about the hired walls being done in Lap House, I unearthed a nugget of information. Which might explain Hick's snippiness on Sunday when I asked about the storage of the kitchen items.

"Maybe now that the walls are up, Dad can get to work and get Lap House done and listed."

"He supposedly only has a couple walls to put up in Cheap House, and then it can go on the market."

"Well, he really wants to finish that one, too."

"WHAT? I KNEW he'd pull this! That was not the deal!"

"Well, when he drove me home last night after training the dog, he said he thinks another $10,000 will get Cheap House finished. And then we could ask $100,000-something, instead of just selling it to a flipper."

"For only $10,000? It needs an HVAC system! And kitchen appliances, and bathroom stuff, and flooring! Plus labor! I can't imagine that would only cost $10,000."

So... Hick has been keeping this plan from me, while telling The Pony, who is not crazy about it, because of the money going out before any money comes in.

Hick and I need to have a "discussion" about our flipping partnership with The Pony. I don't think ONE is a majority.

Fetching the Bargain Kitchen

Remember the rich guy Hick was buying memorabilia from? Who promised Hick that he could have the old kitchen when his new kitchen was installed? That installation has been happening. Hick was supposed to fetch the cabinets and stuff this weekend. The original deal was that Hick could have it for free, just to haul it off. The revised deal (because the rich guy's wife objected) was for Hick to pay $400-$500 for the privilege of hauling off the old kitchen. He has not yet paid, so I hope this price sticks!

Anyhoo... Hick couldn't wouldn't leave his precious SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5) to pick up his "new" kitchen. He knew it would take him several trips. He didn't want to go on Friday, when he leaves the SUS2.5 at noon. Not driving a trailer to the city on Friday evening!

As usual, Hick fell back-rumpusward into luck. A buddy from the flea market offered to drive his trailer there as well, and help with loading, as long as Hick paid for his gas. DEAL! Hick also took HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) with him, and a young kid from the flea market who does odd jobs. 

They left on Saturday at 3:30. It's about a 2-hour drive from the SUS2.5 to the guy's house. They loaded two trailers (good thing Hick just spent $300 for a set of new tires on his trailer) and brought the kitchen stuff back to the town where Cheap House sits. Hick parked his trailer in the buddy's brother's driveway overnight, because it was just down the street from Cheap House. Then went back with HOS to unload it on Sunday evening.

They didn't get everything. Another trip to the city is required, because the remodelers weren't done tearing out all of the kitchen. But Hick got cabinets, a stove, a countertop, and a big piece of granite that weighs 900 pounds that he doesn't know what he'll do with.

So far, there's only a picture of the stove:

Hick plans to put this stove in Lap House. I'm not sure if that's where the picture is from. He might have just stored it in Cheap House for now, because it was so close to where he left the trailer.

Anyhoo... Hick was shocked at the value of this stove.

"I had no idea what that stove is worth. It's a Viking. I looked it up online, and a new one is $5000! I knew it was a good stove when I seen that the burners were cast iron, and not just metal like a regular burner."

Heh, heh. That stove might be worth more than the house. Anyhoo... Lap House already has gas service, so it won't be any problem to hook up a gas stove there.

I'll show more of the kitchen loot when Hick takes more pictures. 

I Deny Responsibility!

We came out of Country Mart on Thursday, and The Pony stopped by T-Hoe's left front bumper.

"What's this?"

"I don't know! Where did THAT come from? I haven't hit anything! Dad might say my memory's going, but surely I'd remember hitting something! It can't have been there long. It's all powdery. So it's been since the last rain. I haven't noticed it when I walk by in the garage."

"Is it paint?"

"I can't tell. And look where it is. That's up on TOP of the bumper. If I'd hit something, it would be scraped all along the side, not up on top. There's just a little couple of scuffs down on the side. If I'd hit the door of the garage going in or out, only the side would be scraped. Not the top. This reminds me of how a car's back door could open over it. You know. Like the curved part of the door that goes around the wheel. And when the door opens, it could scrape the top of the bumper. But I can't imagine a car parked at an angle to do that with a back door. Besides, I always park with this side giving me plenty of room to open my own door."

"Yeah. I don't know how only the top is scraped."

"Unless maybe it was a cart. If somebody got too close, and a cart scraped over the top of the bumper."

When I got home, I made Hick come out and look. He rubbed at it with his hand. Some of the powdery stuff came off. [The pictures were the next day, as I came out of our credit union, and had the opportunity to take them in the sunlight. So some of the mark is gone already.]

"Huh. I don't know what that came from. But it looks like it would buff right out."

Why is nobody else concerned with solving this mystery??? I refuse to take the fall! If I'm going to hit something, the laws of physics will apply to my damage!

My best guess is either somebody with a beeper cart driving into T-Hoe at 10Box, or somebody trying to squeeze a cart between T-Hoe and the cart return at Save A Lot.

At least it wasn't me...

I See It as a Discount That Was Meant to Be

Last week, The Pony did not accompany me on Errand Day. I only had a couple items to get at Country Mart, those being bananas and apples and bread. I could get them cheaper at 10Box, but can't find those apples there. They are Sugar Bee apples. That's what the stickers say, anyway. They're a sweet, crisp red apple. Hick also likes them, and takes them in his lunch to the SUS2.5 on the weekends.

I was shocked to see my receipt when I got back to T-Hoe. It seemed like a high total for such a few items. When I looked at the apple price, it was over $16!!! For a bag of 10 apples! I was fuming during the ride home, wondering if the young man checker had overcharged me.

Once home, I put that bag of apples on the scale. It weighed 3.8 pounds. I had not noticed the price of the produce. I usually just get what's on my list because that's what I want. I'm not looking for bargains on the produce. I thought all the apples had signs for something around $3.00/pound. I complained to Hick about the apples costing over $16.

"Huh. That DOES seem like a lot. But they're good apples."

"They're Sugar Bee apples. I can't find them anywhere else."

Hick started Googling on his phone.

"Well no wonder. It says here that they're $9.99 a pound at Target!"

"WHAT? I'm sure they're not that much at Country Mart. Let me get the receipt. Huh. It says I got 3.89 pounds, and they're $4.36 a pound. So that's about right. I just never realized they were that expensive. But at least it's not $9.99 a pound!"

I went back to Country Mart this week to get more apples. I saw a new kind. Cosmic Crisp. They were also a red apple, but a little bigger than the Sugar Bee. There were only five in a bag. I wanted to try them. But still got Hick a bag of the Sugar Bee. 

The Pony was with me this time, and checked out first. I set my items on the conveyor. I put the Cosmic Crisp apples first. Then the Sugar Bee. Then my other stuff. I didn't want the checker putting bags of apples on top of my bread. The checkers here don't have much common sense. Several are not even 21 yet, and have to call for elders to ring up alcohol.

Indeed, this young gal had to pick up the produce chart (a laminated strip with pictures) to see what she was ringing up. You'd think she'd never seen an apple before! The stickers were on EACH APPLE. She could have looked at them and known what she was ringing up.

Both were sold in clear plastic tote bags, open at the top with two loop handles. Easy to see, easy to scan a bar code.

Anyhoo... she set the first bag, the Cosmic Crisps, on the scale. Picked up her picture chart. Then tapped in the item. As she was setting the Sugar Bees on the scale, I said,

"I have two different kinds of apples--"

"How is your day going? Oh. Sorry. What was that?" She said as she tapped in the newly-weighed Sugar Bees.

"Never mind. I'm having a good day." 

On the way to the car, I told The Pony, 

"I have no idea how she rang up these apples. I was trying to tell her that I had two kinds, so she could charge me the right prices. But she had already put them in the register, and I didn't want to wait for somebody to come clear it." 

The Pony didn't shame me on this one. "Hey, you tried to tell her."

When I looked at the receipt, I was REALLY having a good day! She had charged me for GALA APPLES! Both bags. Which are only $1.78/pound!

I really like them apples!

More Hick Duty-Shirking

When I brought The Pony out for our Labor Day cookout, we both noticed an odd smell in the garage. It was quite strong. I attributed it to Hick. Not that he emits a strong odor, but that I figured he must have sprayed something in the garage. 

Hick mixes up weed-killer and treats his toe-catching uneven brick sidewalk that adjoins the concrete sidewalk to the garage door. And he'd just recently said he was finding dead mice in the garage. Though why he would spray for weeds in a garage, or spray to kill already-dead mice, I can't explain. Other than he's Hick.

A couple days ago, Hick came out to the garage to carry in some light groceries. He's been certified for lifting by his surgeon after a follow-up appointment.

"Oh, that smell you and Pony complained about? It's the gas in the generator turning into turpentine."

Well. Isn't that a fine kettle of fish! We had that power outage recently, and even IF we had known there would be 13 hours without electricity, Hick could not have started up our generator anyway! 

You'd think that Hick would be using his spare time to drain out that bad gas and get the generator in working condition. You know, just in case we have another power outage.

Nope. I guess he's too busy eating Harem cake.

Hick's Harem Takes the Cake

That title is figuratively speaking. To be technically correct, Hick's Harem literally GAVE the cake! Hick came through the kitchen door with it on Wednesday evening, right after I had typed that previous last line about how Hick would adjust his schedule to help the Harem, but not to help ME. Well. Of course he would! He's not going to be getting a cake from me.

I don't know what special occasion justified this cake. I'll have to do some interrogation when Hick gets home. He didn't say much about it.

"Look what my 'Harem,' as you call them, gave me today!"

"Dang! That's like a whole cake!"

"I wasn't gonna take it, but I thought, no, that might be rude. They made it and wanted me to have it, so I took it."

"It looks DELICIOUS! But I thought you didn't like coconut."

"I don't. But it supposedly has pineapple in it, too. I'll have some tonight after supper."

Well. I can't compete with that cake. Even though I fried half a pound of bacon for bacon and tomato sandwiches for Hick's supper, along with chips and homemade dip.

Hick put his cake on the bottom shelf of FRIG II. The only open space. Just like that. On the plate. I said it would get stale, but he said it would be fine. Hick would gladly share some of his Harem cake with me, but I don't need it. It's not on my "cutting back" menu.

I admit that later in the evening, I used my pinky finger to steal that large crumb, and a swipe of fallen-off icing. It tasted like ambrosia. Enough is almost as good as a feast. I'll leave the feasting for Hick. Who ate half of one piece for dessert.