AND... We Have Construction

Looks like those construction materials left beside Lap House were for the porch. The NEW porch! You may recall that the porch was not an asset for Lap House. Just a block of concrete. Not even a tiny eave to shield the rain from your head as you unlocked the front door. Not to mention the color.

Hick decided Lap House needs a roof on that porch. To make it a nice sitting area, and improve the curb appeal. The color will be resolved later, when we're almost ready to list Lap House for sale. Though I WILL caution Hick to get it done before freezing weather sets in.

Hick sent a picture of the progress Thursday afternoon:

It's true to Hick's photography style, you see. He might as well have taken it while standing on the moon. In fact, this is a zoomed-in view! There was a lot of front yard, sidewalk, and street, with Old Buddy on the sidewalk. 

Here's a zoom of the zoom:

NOW I see what The Pony was trying to explain to me, when I didn't understand the long-distance view. The rafters for the porch are in place! This picture was around 2:30. At 4:00, Hick sent another:

I think this porch improves the looks of the house a lot. Even though it's not finished yet. I can imagine sitting on the front porch. Perhaps in a rocking chair, heh, heh, shaking my fist at random kids who chase a ball into the yard.

Finishing the porch and putting shingles on it, and the front roof, shouldn't take too long. Then maybe Hick will get to work inside...

The Materials Have Arrived. Let's Construct.

Hick sent me a text Wednesday afternoon, and a picture from the side of Lap House.

"All the materials setting here for roof and porch but no work yet."

Well. At first glance, I assumed it was a picture of the yard. You know, Hick being proud to show off that he mowed it. And put fallen limbs out of the way. By reading his text, I understood that the shingles and lumber were the subject of the picture, in Hick's panoramic photography style.

Hick's Roofing Guy is going to build a porch on the porch. A real porch, with a roof tied into the front of the house. Hick will be painting the foundation a different color. Probably changing the porch rails as well. Only the front part of the roof needs new shingles.

I don't blame Roofing Guy for not having started the work yet. I wouldn't want to be sweating on a hot shingle roof with the heat index at 115. This day was "cool," with the temperature "only" at 90 degrees. Hick says the plan is for Roofing Guy to start the work on Thursday.

I think a front porch roof will make quite a positive change for Lap House's curb appeal.

Hick, Bamboozled by His Harem

Hick may be a shrewd businessman, but his shrewdness does not translate into dealings with his Harem. He was tricked! Not by all. It wasn't a group scheme. Just a calculated plot by one.

"You know the gal I put in the extra air conditioner for on Monday? The one the other lady give up so she could have it? Her old air conditioner works just fine! It wasn't broken! I had left it there to come back and look at later. We just put the other one in her bedroom window. Turns out she just wanted an air conditioner in her bedroom!"

"That's not right! She told you it wasn't working!"

"Yeah. But it is."

"And it's not fair to the other lady who gave up the second one."

"She wasn't using it anyway. But yeah, it's not fair that the gal tricked everybody into getting her a bedroom air conditioner."

Hick's Harem. Can't live with 'em... can't earn just over $300 a month without 'em.

The Harem: Hot for Hick, Strippin', and Takin' Pills

Hick's Harem is SO infatuated with him. He still has not inspected the wall of the lady who said Friday night that she needed it painted. She since called and apologized, so her wall is on the back burner. One of the old men at the apartments told Hick, "She's a nice lady. But she drinks too much." Who knows what horrors HE's seen!

Anyhoo... Hick stopped by the apartments on his way home from his SUS2.5 on Sunday evening. One of the Harem said her air conditioner wasn't working. With the heat index at 110-115 for the past few days, that could be a major safety issue.

"One of the other ladies had two air conditioners, and said I could take one to put in the other gal's apartment. I told them both to make sure they were awake at 8:15 on Monday morning, because Old Buddy and I would be there to switch the air conditioners." 

Hick was going about his other business (of who knows what) after the AC switch, when the "kitchen gals" called him to come to back to the apartments.

"They said this one lady was wandering around, and she wasn't right. They wanted to know if I had her daughter's phone number. I do, in my files, so I went by. She was all confused. She said there was kids in the room bothering her, and they do it every morning. I asked her if she took her medicine. She said yeah, that somebody gets it ready for her. We went up to look, and she said she takes the pills in the blue container in the morning, and the purple container in the evening. Well, there was pills gone from Tuesday in the purple container. She'd drugged herself up by taking her nighttime pills with her morning pills. I called her daughter. She lives an hour away, and was at work. So the brother over in Bill-Paying Town was gonna come check on her. When I went back at lunch time, she seemed okay. She was aware of everything and not confused. I guess she had a sleeping pill in those night time pills."

"Oh, and I was working there after lunch in my office. As I left, a group of four of them ladies was sittin' out under the awning. They said, 'So-and-So is sunbathing in her bra. Do you mind?' I said, 'As long as her boobs are covered, I don't. I don't care if you all sunbathe nekkid, but the police might.' They got to gigglin' at that."

"She was in her bra? What did it look like? Was it white?"

"No. It was gray, I think. It showed less than a bathing suit."

"I can't believe they were outside in this heat. I guess they knew you'd be leaving, and were putting on a show."

"They all like me, that's for sure."

Yes. It is obvious.

HIck Is a Shrewd Businessman

Hick had a good day of selling at his SUS2.5 on Sunday. Thirteen items (of the strictly regulated and pricey variety), though about half of them were put into lay-a-way for payments. He also had a couple offers he could refuse.

"This guy come in with a bunch of arrowheads. Two of 'em was good, but most of them were broken. I offered him $40 for the lot. He asked if I was joking. He said, 'I wouldn't take that just for one!' The he showed me a German soldier's helmet. I took a picture of it. You can do a search on the picture. It came back as NOT a soldier's helmet, but a German police/firefighter helmet. I offered him $40, and he said he had $500 in it. I didn't do any business with him."

I guess some of these "customers" think Hick is a country bumpkin with no knowledge of collectibles whatsoever. I told Hick that you never know these days. Somebody might see arrowheads in his shop, and complain that they are not to be bought and sold, and should be returned to whatever Native American group to which they originally belonged.

"Yeah. I didn't ask where he got them. I know we have two here in my case that the boys found down by the creek when we bought the land. And they're in good shape, not like the ones this guy had."

As a public service announcement, you should beware that if somebody tries to sell you a German soldier's helmet, it might not be all he claims.

Technology Might Be a Killer

Hick had a doctor appointment last week. It was an endocrinologist he goes to once a year. Specifically to check on his thyroid, which had a growth or enlargement a couple years ago. Hick's report was good. The thyroid hasn't changed. His doctor said he'd check it again next year, and if it was till the same, he'd release Hick.

Hick also went to his regular doctor for a checkup. And maybe the cardiologist. He's still trying to get everything in order for some minor surgery he was supposed to have when he caught what they thought was pneumonia or a collapsed lung! Anyhoo... somewhere amongst those appointments, Hick was told to check his blood pressure, and report the readings. That's because they cut his blood pressure medicine, since his BP was running too low.

Hick came home with a bundle of papers from the appointments. One of them had a code number, telling his to log into his YourChart account (heh, heh, let's call it HisChart), which he's never set up. Whichever doctor told him to check BP said Hick didn't have to write it down on the log they gave him, but to just upload the readings on HisChart.

Hick showed the papers to The Pony, with the code number, and The Pony set up HisChart. Not a big deal, you would think. I have my own account. I don't LIKE it, but I can log in to check in for appointments, and pay bills when notified. Also I can read the doctor notes after an appointment, and check my labs.

Anyhoo... Hick is upset with HisChart. 

"My doctor said I could find out when they schedule my surgery again by looking in there. But something's wrong, because it's got doctors listed on there that I ain't never seen. Some in Oklahoma. Some in Arkansas. And it don't have my regular doctors on there. It's like it's for somebody else. I asked the gal down at the endocrinologist if she could help me with it, and she said no. She give me this phone number, and said I'd have to call and do it myself."

Well. I can understand that. They can't have just anybody logging into patients' electronic records. Hick has not called yet. He thinks maybe it got confused with The Veteran, who has Hick's name, but is a Jr. He has been to a doctor in Oklahoma. But not Arkansas. You would think they would consider the birthdate and/or social security number when recording such information, since you get asked that all the time for verification.

It can't be good for a doctor to look at Hick's HisChart, and assume he's had some of the ailments and treatments listed there...

Here We Go A-Hareming

Friday night, 7:34 p.m. You know what that means. Ring, ring! Hick answered.

"Yes. This is Hick. Yes. We'll get to it. There's so much that needs doing. It won't happen immediately, but we'll get it done. Uh huh. No, we can't spray. We'll get it figured out. We're working on it. I'll talk to you Monday. That's okay. I'll talk to you then. Bye."

"Who was THAT?"

"It was my lady who likes to drink..."

"Of course it was! It's FRIDAY! They always have to call you on a Friday. What's wrong now?"

"She's been drinking. She always drinks on the weekends. She wants her apartment painted."

"Did she think you'd drive over there right now and do it?"

"I don't know what she thinks. I've already talked to her about it. She sent me two texts tonight, and I answered them. Then she called."

"What's wrong with her apartment?"

"Nothing that I know of. She keeps saying a wall just needs to be touched up. Then she said she needed a ladder, because she can't reach up by the ceiling. I told her I wasn't givin' her no ladder."

"Can she paint it herself?"

"No! She cain't barely even walk! Her cleaning lady was gonna do the painting for her. I'll have to take a look at it and see what she thinks is wrong."

I guess Hick's Harem think they should be living in the Taj Mahal.