More Hick Duty-Shirking

When I brought The Pony out for our Labor Day cookout, we both noticed an odd smell in the garage. It was quite strong. I attributed it to Hick. Not that he emits a strong odor, but that I figured he must have sprayed something in the garage. 

Hick mixes up weed-killer and treats his toe-catching uneven brick sidewalk that adjoins the concrete sidewalk to the garage door. And he'd just recently said he was finding dead mice in the garage. Though why he would spray for weeds in a garage, or spray to kill already-dead mice, I can't explain. Other than he's Hick.

A couple days ago, Hick came out to the garage to carry in some light groceries. He's been certified for lifting by his surgeon after a follow-up appointment.

"Oh, that smell you and Pony complained about? It's the gas in the generator turning into turpentine."

Well. Isn't that a fine kettle of fish! We had that power outage recently, and even IF we had known there would be 13 hours without electricity, Hick could not have started up our generator anyway! 

You'd think that Hick would be using his spare time to drain out that bad gas and get the generator in working condition. You know, just in case we have another power outage.

Nope. I guess he's too busy eating Harem cake.

Hick's Harem Takes the Cake

That title is figuratively speaking. To be technically correct, Hick's Harem literally GAVE the cake! Hick came through the kitchen door with it on Wednesday evening, right after I had typed that previous last line about how Hick would adjust his schedule to help the Harem, but not to help ME. Well. Of course he would! He's not going to be getting a cake from me.

I don't know what special occasion justified this cake. I'll have to do some interrogation when Hick gets home. He didn't say much about it.

"Look what my 'Harem,' as you call them, gave me today!"

"Dang! That's like a whole cake!"

"I wasn't gonna take it, but I thought, no, that might be rude. They made it and wanted me to have it, so I took it."

"It looks DELICIOUS! But I thought you didn't like coconut."

"I don't. But it supposedly has pineapple in it, too. I'll have some tonight after supper."

Well. I can't compete with that cake. Even though I fried half a pound of bacon for bacon and tomato sandwiches for Hick's supper, along with chips and homemade dip.

Hick put his cake on the bottom shelf of FRIG II. The only open space. Just like that. On the plate. I said it would get stale, but he said it would be fine. Hick would gladly share some of his Harem cake with me, but I don't need it. It's not on my "cutting back" menu.

I admit that later in the evening, I used my pinky finger to steal that large crumb, and a swipe of fallen-off icing. It tasted like ambrosia. Enough is almost as good as a feast. I'll leave the feasting for Hick. Who ate half of one piece for dessert.

Hick Breaks a T-Hoe Promise

For several months, T-Hoe has had a problem. At first I thought it was a gas station problem. I cannot put the gas nozzle in and click that lever to let the tank fill up. I CAN, but it shuts itself off after a couple of seconds. Same thing when I squeeze the handle gently. A few glugs of gas go in, but then it shuts off.

I told Hick about the problem. He said the same thing happens with him at Casey's in Backroads. I get T-Hoe's gas at the Casey's over in Sis-Town. The Pony is often with me for refueling on Errand Days. Said it looks like the problem is older gas pumps, or something with a vent valve thingy in T-Hoe. Which means SilverRedO is having the same issue. That would not surprise me. T-Hoe is a 2008, and SilverRedO is a 2012. They get driven on our gravel road every day. I'm sure all that dust can exact a toll.

Anyhoo... Hick had finally told me that he was making an appointment for Thursday morning to get T-Hoe fixed. I reminded him that T-Hoe has also been needing an oil change through most of this year. And his solution has been to add a couple of quarts here and there.

I was really excited. T-Hoe would be fixed Thursday morning, and I could get gas with ease on Thursday afternoon. No more taking 15 minutes to pump in $40 of gas. I sure don't have time to pump a FULL TANK, heh, heh. I'm just topping off every week.

Anyhoo... Tuesday evening, Hick said that he can't get T-Hoe fixed on Thursday morning.

"I told Mick that I'd need for him to be done by 10:00. I have to go see my supplier to get stock for my store. And my buddy whose wife just died is riding to Illinois with me. Mick said he doesn't know if he can have it done by 10:00. So I'm going to take it one day next week."

A likely story! The Pony will not be happy about spending so much time pumping my gas. Hopefully the gas won't splash out on The Pony's shoes (and bare toes) like last time. Hick's "solution" is for me to get gas at Rhodes. Wherever that is! He said it's by Walmart. In which case it's by the newest roundabout, and on a side street by the Walmart parking lot, and very inconvenient. Hick says it would be "easy," because their pumps aren't as forceful, and the stand to pay (I won't use the debit card at the pump because of card skimmers) is really close to the pumps. I figure once I start getting gas there, Hick will not take T-Hoe to be fixed!

I bet if one of Hick's Harem needed something, he could adjust the timing of his supply run...

We Are Not Refurbishing the Taj Mahal

Hick's buddy from the SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5) showed up Monday to give an estimate for work on Lap House. Hick made it clear that we will furnish the materials. Construction Guy will be responsible for building walls and closets in two bedrooms that will be at the front of the house, and a living room that will be back toward the kitchen. I also think this includes a short hallway from the front door, since the door used to lead into what will now become a bedroom. I did not ask if this includes hanging drywall.

Anyhoo... Hick came home and announced that Construction Guy wanted $1000. And that he agreed, and was picking up materials Tuesday, for Construction Guy to start work on Wednesday.

"That sounds kind of expensive to me. It's not like we're refurbishing the Taj Mahal. That's a big chunk for The Pony to pay half at one time."

"Well, it is what it is. We have to get these houses done."

"What would it have cost for Old Buddy or HOS to do it?"

"Probably around $250. But they don't want to work."

Hmm... just this morning, Hick said he'd told HOS that he needs some tree limbs trimmed out here. And for POOLIO to be torn down and disposed of. So HOS can do that work as payment for the $2000 white truck that Hick made us buy to get Lap House.

It will be interesting to see how many hours of work this Lap House job takes Construction Buddy. And how many hours of work the odd jobs will take for HOS. Hick would be a lot more careful spending money if it was HIS money, and not ours!

A Possible New Helper for Hick

Hick talked to the carpenter guy about working on Lap House. He's supposed to stop by on Monday to look at the house, and hear what Hick wants done. Hick says the guy will give him an estimate.

"Wait! We can't just be hiring all the work done on our flips. That can run into major money. The Pony can't be paying big chunks at a time. There's already been the roof and the HVAC. Plus the roof on Cheap House. It won't hurt us as much short-time, but The Pony is better off paying the hourly work from Old Buddy and HOS."

"I'm going to ask what he'll charge to frame out the bedrooms and closets."

"Who pays for the materials? Because if that's part of his estimate, he'll be like a contractor. We'll have to get that disclosure form from him for when we sell it."

"I'll be buying the materials, Val. This guy will just use them to do the work. That way, we can show that the materials have been paid for, so there's no chance of somebody getting a lien on the property."

"Well. I guess if that's what you have to do..."

"I just cain't depend on Old Buddy and HOS no more. We've got to get these houses done."

"You're telling ME! You just need to spend more time on them than on your side jobs. I saw a house the same size as Cheap House, for $60,000, and it was only listed for 8 DAYS before it had a contract on it. People are buying. Sure, this one had all its walls. But it was a hoarder house, from the pictures. It needed a cleanout, and all the walls and floors re-done. Plus it didn't have a new roof!"

"Well, we'll see if this guy is reasonable. And I have to check with my rich guy about the cabinets. I think this is the week he said he was remodeling."

Let's hope Hick is fired up to finish these two projects...

Yes, Another Friday Rolled Around

Friday evening, around 5:10, Hick's phone rang.

"I know. No, I wouldn't be interested in that. That's up to you. Whatever you want to do. But I don't need it."

You never know who Hick is talking to. I could hear a woman's voice (because Hick has the volume on his phone so high, or because the sound goes in one ear and out the other). I could not hear the specifics. Hick has a gal who calls him to sell him stuff for his SUS2.5 (Storage Unit Store 2.5), like knives and collectibles. He will meet her on a parking lot to see what items he wants to buy. I thought it could possibly be her. But I also realized it was FRIDAY. Before I could holler in to ask, Hick said:

"Huh. I think you might be right. That was one of my "Harem," as you call them."

"Of course! It's FRIDAY!"

"And I was even over there today at the apartments!"

"That trick seems not to work anymore. What did she want?"

"It's the lady who's moving in October. With the little dog. Who called me about the dog's shot record last week. Now she says that since she's moving, would I want to buy back the microwave and kitchen table and chairs that I gave her."

"Wait. You GAVE her that stuff for FREE, and now she wants you to buy it back?"

"Yeah. I told her I'm not interested. She said, 'Well, I guess I'll have to get a storage unit and pay to keep them.' I told her to what she's gotta do. There's no way I'm going to pay her for those."

"She could just leave them, rather than pay to store them. Then you could use them again to give to somebody who might need them."

"Yeah. She'll probably end up leaving them, to keep from paying. I have to redo her whole apartment anyway, because of that dog. I'll rip out the carpet, and put in laminate. I can put that stuff in the storeroom."

"Why were you over there today?"

"For another lady's daughter. She called and said her mom had a table in storage, and thought it might have been stolen. I checked, but it was still there."

"Did other people see you there? Your Harem?"

"Yeah, a few. But I still got this call tonight."

We might have to get a landline again, so Hick can have his version of the Bat Phone. It will be the Harem Phone. A direct line to Hick for the Harem's perceived emergencies that can't wait until Monday business hours.

Sweet Dreams May be Unforthcoming

Hick has been trying to get a sleep study for several months. His breather isn't working right, and to get a new one, he needs a referral from a doctor, who needs a sleep study to justify it. Hick's current breather isn't actually "his." The original CPAP, gotten after a sleep study at the local hospital sleep lab, conked out several years ago. 

Being Hick, he found one on his own to use in the meantime. Found it at the flea market. "It belonged to some dead guy," said Hick. "I figure it will work well enough until I can get a sleep study, even though it's not set specifically for me."

You know how Hick delays things that need to be done. It was only recently that he started asking for a sleep study. Molasses in January moves faster than the medical offices around here. Hick had a little fit last week with his doctor (NP) about the lack of an appointment. The sleep lab called him back in a couple days. They could work him in during December.

"That's way too far off! Get me one at another hospital in your network!"

They did. At the hospital 30 miles north. On October 31.

"HEY! That's Halloween!"

"Yeah. Well. That's the soonest they could get me in."

"Heh, heh! You know the staff will be dressed up in costumes."

"Maybe."

"I took my mom for surgery on Halloween. There were Frankensteins and vampires and all kinds of creatures roaming the halls. It did not make her any more confident in her surgeon. Even though he wasn't dressed up."

"Well, if they do, they do."

"You'll wake up and see them. Hope you don't have a nightmare!"

"I think I'll be okay."

"I hope I am. I hope nobody decides to TRICK us while I'm home by myself."

"I think you'll be okay, too."

Yeah. I probably will. We never get any trick-or-treaters. Only one in 27 years.