More Weekend Harem-ing

Monday evening, Hick told me: "I think you was right about them gals at the apartments. One of them called me last night. She said, 'My bedroom door won't close.'"

"Of course! It was the weekend! They always need you on the weekend."

"I told her, 'I'll be there on Wednesday morning.' I don't know what she could have done to it, but it's not an emergency."

"Heh, heh! She wants to get you in her bedroom!"

"I don't think so. Them women are from 50 years old to 88 years old."

"Is this the one who drinks?"

"No. It's the youngest one. She annoys everybody else because she's kind of a busybody. But really, she's good for them, because she checks up on everyone. I need to talk to her anyway. She's got cardboard over her windows, and she's on the front of the building. We can't have that. It makes the building look junky."

"Maybe she's trying to block out the sun. That side faces south. She probably gets sun all day, and it's been so hot."

"She has heavy curtains to block out the sun."

"Maybe she doesn't want anybody seeing you in her bedroom, heh, heh!"

Sometimes I think the Harem is taking that building apart, piece by piece, to find ways to get Hick over there when they are lonely. Like on the weekends.

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UPDATE

Wednesday evening, Hick hollered to the kitchen to ask if I wanted to hear a funny story. Well, of course! 

"You know that lady who called me about her bedroom door? I went to look at it today. You know why it wouldn't close? There was a shoe caught in it!"

"How is that possible?"

"It was stuck in the jamb, keeping it from closing."

"Couldn't she see it?"

"The shoe was behind the door. But had got caught, and when she tried to close it, the shoe kept it from closing."

"What kind of shoe? How could she not notice?"

"It was some flat slipper shoe."

"What did she say when you told her?"

"Nothing. But it was good that I went anyway, because we had to fix her sink. It had a leak."

Funny how that lady never mentioned a sink leak. I guess that wouldn't achieve her purpose of GETTING HICK INTO HER BEDROOM!

The Manager Looks Forward to an Addition to Her Family; Thevictorians to an Addition to Their Savings

The Credit Union Gal called me back after about an hour, regarding my request for info on getting an additional 1% interest increase on our maturing CD. She started out by saying, 

"Well, I was partially right. I was telling you the requirements for opening a NEW CD."

That was a bit off-putting. It reminded me of the time I was helping an at-risk 8th-grader with her math, and she said I was wrong, and wanted a pass to see her math teacher to verify my wrongness. When she returned, she started off by saying, "ONE of us was right." Which was me, because I am perfectly capable of doing 8th-grade math.

Anyhoo... Credit Union Gal was really polite, so I didn't take issue with her attempt to save face. Even though I am perfectly capable of reading English, and what she said about a new CD STILL wasn't what was written on the credit union website, nor the printed program from the annual dinner.

Credit Union Gal apologized for taking so long to return my call. She said the maternity-leave manager with all the info had been IN A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT. At least she wasn't in labor! 

Credit Union Gal said she could cash out our CDs, and open the new ones. There would be no 30-day wait. Just walk in, and she'd do it right then. However... she suggested waiting until Wednesday, because there was a board meeting Tuesday night, and she didn't know if interest rates might increase. So she wanted us to get the best rate possible.

I said what if the interest rate WENT DOWN? Credit Union Gal said she didn't expect it. And not to worry, because she already had permission to give us the current rate, even IF rates went down. Also, she thought she could give us the 1% increase on BOTH CDs. I reminded her that the program stated it was only for ONE certificate. She said she would do both, and if that wasn't allowed, she would make sure the CD with the most money got the increase. Hick says we got it on both last year, so it might be possible.

Anyhoo... I thanked Credit Union Gal for going to the trouble to check on it for me. She even offered to call me on Wednesday morning, to tell me the new interest rate, but I said Hick would be coming in that day anyway, so no need.

I'm really glad I called ahead and got this matter straightened out. Otherwise, Hick would have gone in and been cheated out of our 1% interest increase. Or more likely, have become cantankerous and made a scene. Like that one time, in Pizza Hut... but that's a story for another day. Or never.

While I Don't Begrudge Someone Having a Baby...

The timing is terrible for US! How dare a working woman procreate on OUR TIME!

Thevictorians have two CDs that matured on Sunday. Of course our credit union is not open on Sundays. But we have a 10-day grace period to decide if we roll it over, or do something else. In this case, it's SOMETHING ELSE. That's because we can get a 1% interest rate boost, since Hick attended the annual meeting/dinner. The increase is only for a new CD. It says so right there on the program he has to show to get the boost:

1% New CD Rate Increase

This should be no problem. Last year we did the same thing. All it required was walking in and asking for it. I was smart (you know that, right?) and asked what we needed to do while I was there depositing The Pony's house payment. The teller consulted the manager, who was at a desk behind the window. She said when the maturity date arrived, to come in and they'd do it. 

I called the office on that maturity date, and they said they'd get everything ready, and Hick could just stop by and sign. Easy peasy. I saved him a few minutes of wait by calling.

Well. I tried that Monday morning. The gal I got gave me some misinformation! She told me that the 1% rate increase for the meeting attendance ONLY APPLIED TO NEW MONEY! And that we would have to cash out our CD, and wait 30 days to put it back into a new CD. This is NOT what happened last year. And I was looking at their (terrible) website at the time, reading right off the screen:

TEMPORARY CD SPECIALS

(new money ONLY cannot be used with annual meeting offers)

Which seems to be the direct opposite of what she told me! Besides, once that money is cashed out, it's OURS, right? So who says we can't put OUR money into a new CD? What's with the 30-day wait?

I was polite. I explained how we did this last years. She said that she would check on it for me. That the manager was on maternity leave, but they have access to her. I certainly hope she is not in active labor! But still, how inconsiderate of that manager not to consult us about our CD maturity date before having a little bundle of joy put into her oven!

As I write this, I've been waiting 45 minutes for my call-back. Hopefully there's no case of a 9-day labor. We are rightfully due our 1% interest rate increase. After all, Hick went to eat a free meal once a year. He endured that hardship with good faith!

The local financial world should not come to a standstill because a woman has a baby.

Just Checking

Hick is not allowed access to our checkbook. Before you judge me as controlling, conniving, embezzling, or petty, let's remember that Hick's filing cabinet is the cab of SilverRedO. He is not the most meticulous record-keeper. My method might involve cast-off Save A Lot boxes on the kitchen table, but I know where the documents are "filed." I keep a tight rein on the checks and the checkbook register. They are my chronological "vault" of expenses outlaid on the flip houses.

Hick has been waiting to pay his roofing guy until all finishing touches were completed on the Cheap House roof. Last Sunday, he said he wanted a check, because Roofing Guy was finishing up the next day. I gave Hick a single check. He tucked it in his billfold. That is a problem.

Hick's billfold is like George Costanza's wallet. It is overstuffed, waiting to explode. [George's Exploding Wallet , YouTube 25 seconds] I also think it makes Hick sit sideways, though I do not believe he carries hard candy in it. Hick keeps his billfold closed with a bright red rubber bracelet thingy like was so popular for promoting causes back in the early 2000s. A check is not safe there for long. It comes out with tri-fold bends, and frayed along the top edge.

Every day I asked Hick if he'd given Roofing Guy the check. "No. He was busy with his courier business. Guys didn't show up to work. He'll do it tomorrow." That went on all week. As you might assume, the bills kept coming. I had to write other checks. This one was getting out of order.

Saturday night, I asked Hick for that check.

"Can you give it back to me? I'm going to write out two more bills, and this one is already two behind.  This will make it four. I'll give you another one."

"No! Roofing Guy is coming by my shop tomorrow. He said so. I'll give it to him then."

I hope that check is not too frayed to run through the processing machinery at the bank!

Not All Bandits Have One Arm

Thevictorians went to the casino on Thursday. Only one was victorious. That was Hick, who left with a $400 profit! Part of it came after lunch, on this machine:

Looks like it was a $200 jackpot on a 70 cent bet. Good for Hick! The Pony and I were losers, but not bad losers. We still left with our shirts, but with sleeves ripped off like my lead-mining, hog-raising, hobby-farming grandpa in late July. I lost 1/3 of my casino bankroll, and am not upset. I only take what I'm willing to part with. And last time (in February) I made a good profit. The Pony lost a little less than I did. We all had a good time.

Of course we looked forward to eating lunch there. Even though I consider it a waste of an hour that I could be losing actively gambling on the casino floor. 

Hick had his usual cheeseburger and onion rings.

Pardon his leathery, arthritic hand. And the fact that he couldn't wait until The Pony took a picture to take a bite of the burger, and devour an onion ring.

The Pony had a salad with Cajun Ranch dressing on the side.

That's half my fries that I donated to The Pony. And the unwanted tomatoes from the salad that The Pony donated to me.

I had the grilled chicken sandwich. About which I have a bone to pick!

Here it is, opened up to show the innards. I declined the cheese and lettuce that came with it. So there's tomato and onion and pickles. Plus the remoulade sauce that was just right. You can see a bit on the chicken, and peeping through the holes in the tomato.

Here's the thing. That chicken sandwich is $14. Without the fries or soda. I like the grilled chicken sandwich, and chose it over the fried chicken sandwich, which "only" costs $12. To the best I can figure, the difference is that the grilled chicken sandwich includes bacon. Do you see any bacon on my sandwich??? Nope. So I was charged two extra dollars for bacon I didn't get! Last time, my grilled chicken had two crisscrossed half-slices of bacon. So one actual slice. That cost me two dollars. But was better than getting NO BACON that also cost two dollars.

Not all bandits in a casino have one arm. 

The Way (Back) to a Woman's Heart is Through Her Liver

Hick must have been trying to mend fences back flip-house walls with me on Wednesday at 10:38 a.m. when he sent me a text:

"You want some liver and onions"

"YES!"

"Okay [thumbs up emoji]" (either alone would have been sufficient)

Hick came home with two dinners while I was away at leg therapy. I found them at the bottom of FRIG II when I returned around 3:30.

For once, both containers were the same. No obvious bloated portions for Hick the Cooks' Pet. Looks like those ladies are quite generous with their liver. Also included was a roll, and mashed potatoes. So much for any healthy vegetables this day!

I ate my liver that night. No fava beans, nor nice Chianti. Also no roll, no mashed potatoes, and no gravy. I scraped my gravy/onions onto Hick's liver, and left him the roll/potatoes in my container. I warmed my liver in the oven, and had it with a nice Save A Lot brand ketchup.

I found out later that Hick had eaten his liver lunch. One of his Harem did not want hers, and was not going to take it. But Hick told her to get it, and he'd take it home. So he had originally paid for my lunch and his, but got another one from the Harem gal.

Dessert was lemon merangue pie.

It looked really good. The lemon was brighter in person than in my photo. I can't vouch for the taste, because I gave mine to Hick. 

Anyhoo, this culinary gesture kept Hick out of the dog house for at least a day...

There Shall Be No Siding with Hick

Later Tuesday evening, when Hick seemed sufficiently recovered from his "broken" arm after Old Buddy's ladder/drill faux pas... I asked if he had any more pictures for me from Cheap House.

"No. I sent you some on Monday. There ain't nothin' new to see."

"What about the siding? That's what I've been waiting for. Pictures with the siding on the back of the house, now that the roof is done."

"I already sent them."

"No. It's just the plywood."

"That's SIDING, Val!"

"We've been through this before. It looks like plywood. I mean the white vinyl siding, like the rest of the house. The part you took off the back around the window, and the siding HOS saved from tearing down that back porch bedroom. You said you were going to use that so everything would match."

"There isn't enough. There's no long pieces."

"Even after you said HOS saved it? That was your plan. To put the same siding back on."

"No. This is the kind I'm using. It's SIDING, Val. It even has a name: [BLAH BLAH BLAH] siding."

"It looks terrible and unfinished. Just like you tried to do on Bargain House without any paint or anything."

"Everybody likes it, Val. They tell me it looks good."

"We've been through this before! Of course your friends are going to say it looks good."

"Realtor Guy said so, too!"

"Of course! He wants to be sure you list it with him!"

"Well, he wants to be sure to get the most for his commission, too!"

"Not a single one of 'my people' like this look. It's like unfinished plywood."

"It's SIDING, Val! And yes, that's how I'm leaving it."

"I bet it will take $2000 off the sale price! Because any flipper will know they have to get siding for the back of the house."

"Whatever."

I call shenanigans! All along, Hick has said he was putting that matching siding back on the house. Now all of a sudden, he can't do it. So he went and bought this wood "siding" to cover the back of the house. An expense we don't need, which makes the house look worse! Also, unless Realtor Guy makes a habit of driving the 20 miles from Bill-Paying Town every day to admire Hick's handiwork, I don't think he's been there since the one time Hick told him we wanted to list it with him. The roof wasn't done yet, and for sure the "siding" wasn't on the back of the house.

Once again, I seek your honest opinion on this look...