There's Something Phishy Going On

I got a phone call Monday morning around 10:30. It was on my cell phone. The screen said Privte Caller. Normally, I would not answer such a call. But with Hick galivanting about three towns just four days after surgery, I didn't want to take a chance on it being related to something Hick-ish. 

The lady on the phone asked for Hick. First name and last name.

"He's not here."

"This is Someone Somebody with Such-and-Such Bank. I'm calling to talk to Hick about a deal we're working on for him. What is your name?"

"I don't know why you need to know MY name."

"Who am I speaking with? Are you Hick's spouse? Or his mother?"

[What in the NOT-HEAVEN??? Hick's mother has been dead since before I met him. Hick is 72 years old. Do I sound like a woman in her 90s?]

"This is his wife. But there's no reason to give you my name."

"Okay. I was just looking for what to call you instead of Mr. and Mrs. Thevictorian."

[What's wrong with THAT? It seems to be a common practice in the business world.]

"Now, can you tell me Hick's birth date?"

"No. Why would I tell you that? I'm not giving out that information to somebody who calls me."

"Well, I already have it. I was just asking you to verify it, to make sure I'm talking to somebody who has a right to this information."

"There's no way I'm giving you that information. Calls like this are usually scams, and I don't need to tell you anything personal. I don't know of any 'deal' he would be working on with you. Why don't you just call HICK? He has a phone..."

"All right then. You have a good day."

AS IF anybody would give out that kind of stuff to a random caller they never heard of! One who blocks the number they're calling from. If it was an actual business, there's no need to show a Private Caller.

Of course I called Hick, and asked if he was working on some kind of deal with a bank. You never know with his business. But since I take care of all his paperwork, you'd think I would have a clue.

"Nope. I ain't doin' no business with no bank. Nobody's called me."

"If somebody calls, don't give out any information! Heh, heh! She asked if I was your MOTHER!"

"That would be quite a surprise, talking to her!"

"Yeah, I know! There's probably not good reception six feet under. If she really had your birth date, would she have assumed she was talking to your MOM? That's crazy."

So strange, that such a stranger would have MY phone number, and not Hick's, the person she's working on a deal with, and has his birth date...

Green and Purple Plaid Hair

While I was in line at the Gas Station Chicken Store on Thursday afternoon, a young woman came in the door. She had a little girl with her, maybe 6-7 years old. She looked around. At first I thought they came in for the bathrooms at the front by the door. But then she shooed the little girl over to the side of the counter, by the closed register. 

The Lady appeared to be in her late 20s. She started rummaging in her purse, and putting handfuls of coins on the glass counter. I stepped up to do my lottery business while she was counting her coins into stacks. The Lady turned to look at me.

"I love your shirt!"

"Thank you! Green is my favorite color, and I like pastels."

"It's my kind of thing."

That's when I realized that The Lady's hair was a match for my shirt! Her dark hair had wide strands of the green and purple running through it! It actually looked okay.

"Oh, I see what you mean. It matches your hair!"

"Yes! And I love that little purple car out there, too!"

Indeed, there was a matching car out at one of the gas pumps. I finished up my transaction, and The Lady told Fave (my favorite cashier), "I'd like $21.54 of gas on Pump 4."

I had been prepared to offer to pay if The Lady was short on her change. She gave off a good vibe.

It Was Friday. You Know What THAT Means!

Hick was kicked back in my OPC (Old People Chair) on Friday afternoon at 4:25. He's recovering from surgery that he had on Thursday. [That won't be addressed here, but will be on my supersecret blog in a few days.]

The phone rang, and Hick groggily answered.

"Yeah. This is him. Huh. Well, I'll be there Monday. I'm doing okay. It's not a problem. That's all right. Yeah. I'll see you on Monday."

"Let me guess. That was one of your Harem!"

"Yep."

"Of course. It IS Friday evening. That's when they love to call." 

"Seems like it."

"What did this one want?"

"She wanted to tell me that the lady across the hall from her wants the hall sprayed for bugs."

"So SHE'S calling to tell you? For somebody else?"

"You don't understand what they're like. They're all in everybody else's business."

"Which one was this? What has she done? Was it the drinker again?"

"No. This one ain't done nothin'."

"Really? That's hard to believe. She wasn't the door/shoe lady, was she? I've heard that name before."

"Well, yeah. She's the one who called to say her bedroom door wouldn't close, and then I found a shoe stuck in it. And she's also the one who got in a fight with the drinking lady that got her carted off to the county jail."

"I KNEW there was more to it."

"And she also knew I was having surgery yesterday, and wanted to check on me."

"Of course she did. So she can report back to the rest of your Harem that she talked to you."

"It is what it is."

Yes. It's called Hick's Harem being lonely on a Friday night. Knowing they will have to go three long days without seeing him, since he usually only goes to the apartments Monday-Thursday.

A Meeting of the Mines

Hick had his first meeting in the office he built from dividing a storeroom, and furnished with all of HIS stuff from home. Here's a little reminder photo:

The assorted members of the board governing the senior apartments were in agreement that it's a nice office. Something that has been needed for a long time.

"This is much better than meeting in a hallway!"

"This is a great space. If somebody is interested in renting an apartment, you can bring them in here to sit down and discuss it, or do the paperwork."

"Or if somebody from an agency comes by, it's more businesslike to have a place to meet."

Hick said even the mayor (who is definitely no fan of Hick, and thwarts his efforts at every turn), said it was a nice office. "And she brung her grandbaby to the meeting! A toddler!" Because, you know, why would a city mayor show up to a scheduled monthly meeting alone, ready to devote full attention to a non-profit business that leases city property?

Anyhoo... Hick was quite pleased with himself for providing this space, decorated with his many treasures. I'm pretty sure he spent a little time explaining the decorations while waiting for all board members to arrive. I imagine he did a round of the room: "This is MY deer head that I got a good deal on. And these are MY scale models of NASCAR cars. Here are MY license plates that I've collected over the years." 

Hick has always done that. Everything is HIS. He even used to describe our house that way. And our 10 acres and other 10 acres and pretty much everything we own jointly. It's not as if he built everything with his own hands, like the themed sheds on Shackytown Boulevard.

Another Photographer, Another View

Here's another view of the front of Lap House. The Pony took this one, as we drove down the block on Errand Day. I parked across the street by the elderlies apartment building, and The Pony took it out my window.

I am just loving the look of this! Hick says he will probably paint the wooden support posts black. He's not sure of the color, but he won't leave them as bare wood.

I don't know what kind of tree that is on the left, but it has pink flowers on it! Anyhoo... I just wanted to show this view of Lap House, because it never occurs to Hick that he can walk across the street, rather than down to the corner stop sign to get a full picture.

Again, here's a reminder of the "before" shape of Lap House when we bought it:

That tall pipe is gone. Might have been a flue of some kind, for gas heat. And the mailbox hanging on the rail. I'm not sure what Hick will do about that old TV antenna behind the tree. And the roof has been re-shingled.

To me, it looks like a different house!

What a Difference a Paint Makes

Hick hired HOS (Hick's Oldest Son) to paint the base of the porch and the foundation of Lap House. They were going to do it last week, but HOS got sick in the heat, and could not. Funny how Hick told me this when it happened, but he had not yet bought the paint that showed up on the receipt he gave me yesterday. Maybe they had to pre-treat the area, or maybe Hick already had a little of the paint from another job. Anyhoo... HOS was feeling better yesterday, on an even hotter day, and got the job done.

I gotta say, that's a nice-looking front porch! Hick still has to replace the siding at the corner of the house, where he removed it to install the new electrical entrance. Here's a zoom-in so you can see more detail of the porch:

You can see here that the rail is no longer red, white, and blue. I'm not sure if Hick is going to paint or stain those support beams. Looks like a bit of soffit has been added to trim out the porch roof. This looks like a shady place to sit with a beverage and survey the neighborhood. Much better than what it was before.

I'm not sure if Hick will be replacing the two front windows. For sure he is going to put black fake shutters on each side. He says black now, but if the window trim is white, I could see white working just as well.

Now, if we could only get to work on the inside, where nothing has been done save cleaning out the basement to allow for the HVAC installation. And by "we," I mean Hick, Old Buddy, and HOS.

I'm Not Lovin' It

Hick and I really don't speak the same language. He ASSumes I will known certain construction terminology, but I refuse to let him make a rumpus out of me. I have to mount an offensive before he has a chance to declare: "You don't know nothin!"

Hick came in Monday afternoon and started jawing and thrusting money and a receipt at me before I could put down my lucky scratching quarter.

"Here's the receipt from Lowe's. It's got stuff from Lap House and Bargain House. The paint is for Lap House and the screws are for Bargain House. This is money for my stuff that will be on the Lowe's and Menards bill when they come." [It was $1294.00 in cash!]

Then Hick walked off! The receipt was 18 inches long, and he draped it across HIPPIE's keyboard. Only about a third of that receipt had items on it. Usually I don't get a receipt unless Hick uses cash. And the Lowe's statement does not have itemized prices. Only the total for each day's transaction, and a list of merchandise without individual prices.

This means I have to figure out which items went to which flip, and record the costs for each, to use for tax purposes, and to determine our asking price when we are ready to sell the flip houses. Plus, I have to decide which merchandise was for Hick's side jobs like the senior apartments, or his SUS2.5. The latter which also is needed for his business taxes.

"Hey! Wait a minute. Is this receipt for cash you spent? Or the debit card?"

"Nooo. I put it on the Lowe's card."

"So when I get the Lowe's bill, it will have these charges for both flip houses, AND stuff you bought to use for something else?"

"Yeah."

"So you're just giving me the receipt so I will know the price of what went with each house?"

"Yeah."

"How am I supposed to know? I can't tell what you bought! What's a 1/2 CAT OSB SHEATHING? Or what's a LG JAR PWRPRO INT 90X3?"

"I told you the paint is for Lap House, and the screws are for Bargain House!"

"You come back here! Take this receipt. Use a pen, and put an X by stuff belonging to one house, and I'll know the rest is for the other house."

"You always have to make everything so hard!"

Well. I don't think I'M the one making things so hard. I just want to keep accurate records. Hick marked the receipt for me.

Hick even made a key for me at the top, showing that X was for Lap House, and O was for Bargain House. Not to be confused with Hick giving kisses to the first, and hugs to the other! I'm not lovin' this system, but now that I've forced Hick to clarify expenses, I can figure it out when the monthly statement gets here.