The Pony does his own laundry. I barely know when he's been in the laundry room. He uses his own detergent (Tide Pods that didn't get eaten), and cleans out the lint trap in the dryer. But last week, I saw a sign. Two socks on top of the dryer.
They were what we used to call "footies" in the 70s. The low sock that only covers the shoe area of your foot. Mine always had those dang pastel yarn balls on the heel, to keep my shoe from eating them. They were not much of a deterrent.
Anyhoo... today's socks must be made of some magical fiber, perhaps shed by unicorns as they dream. No pom-poms on the heel. They stay in place. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't seen it with my own two nearsighted eyes. The Pony peeled off his socks as if they were a layer of skin applied for the express purpose of 11 hours of shoe-wearing. They hadn't inched an inch down into the shoe.
In fact, The Pony appears to be wearing socks even when he is barefoot! His feet look like those of our dear departed (although HE hated US 23 hours and 59 minutes a day) tuxedo cat, Stockings. Dark legs, white feet. It's an occupational hazard for mail carriers, according to Reddit.
The socks on my dryer did not match. Same style, different color. One white. One black.
"Pony. You have two socks on the dryer."
"Yeah. They're not a pair. I can't find the mate of either one."
"I knew they weren't a pair. One white, one black."
"Your eyes must be really bad! There's no white sock in there."
"Is too! I'm not color blind!"
"I'll prove it to you...
Huh. I don't know how THAT happened. I could have sworn it was gray."
"Maybe it got too clean. Did you hear anything while you were in there?"
"No. Like what?"
"Some music. A song. Singing?"
"No. Why would I?"
"I'm pretty sure those socks were mocking you. I heard them! They must be fans of Three Dog Night: 'A sock is white. A sock is black. Together we conspire, to hold you back...'
"Um. Yeah. That didn't happen."
The Pony sat down to put on his socks before his afternoon shift.
"There's only one sock now. See this? I'm wearing the black one. I'm not sure these socks really match. But they're the same color."
I guess The Pony is better with socks than with belts. Or maybe not. Considering that another black sock must be missing for him to use an odd one and have a mismatched pair.