Is another woman trying to steal Hick's heart? Like a lake dweller stealing his lot by buying property that doesn't belong to the seller? Or in this case, is a woman trying to steal Hick's heart by way of a journey through his stomach?
Women should know better! You can't go around feeding other women's husband's all willy-nilly! Even a bank teller knows to ASK before offering a sweet treat to child. Grown men are remarkably similar to children when it comes to FREE FOOD!
I had just served Hick what he declared was a delicious supper. Spicy BBQ pulled pork on a tortilla with shredded cheddar, diced onion, and sour cream. Then out of the blue he said,
"My buddy's wife made a GREAT ham salad at the auction the other night."
"Yeah. She used that FREE ham we got from the Ponytail Guy."
"I still have half of that ham in the freezer. I guess I could thaw it out. Add shredded cheese, mayo, and pickles. That should just about do it. Do you want onions in it?"
"Yeah. Onions would be good."
"Any special rolls, or just bread?"
"I'll eat it on bread."
Huh. As I recall, I have never served Hick ham salad. I don't know if Buddy's Wife packed a cooler for the auction, or if she is wife of the auction owner and sells food there. Or maybe she was giving out FREE samples to get men hooked, planning to sell them next time. I didn't ask Hick, lest he reveal more food he had been given by strange women.
The best ham salad was served on our school lunch trays during the '70s! We had it on Wednesdays, which was Chili or Soup Day. You got a bowl of chili, and two half-sandwiches cut in a triangle shape. That intrigued me, because at home, our sandwich halves were cut in rectangle shapes. Anyhoo... one sandwich was ham salad, and one was peanut butter with syrup. Or sorghum. Something sticky and sweet.
I always traded my peanut butter for ham salad. It was an easy trade! Also on the tray was SPINACH! I gave it away, no trade necessary! Some kids loved that spinach. They drenched it with vinegar from the little glass cruets that looked like pitchers. You'd never see something like that sitting on the lunch tables these days!
Anyhoo... I'll have to dice my leftover FREE ham. I don't have a grinder. My mom did. She'd stick it to the kitchen counter with its suction cup feet, and grind the leftover Sunday roast. Combined with Miracle Whip and relish or diced sweet pickles, it was quite tasty. But she didn't go serving it up to other women's husbands...