Only almost empty.
That's the next bottle, awaiting his turn in the rotation. It's no secret that Val colors her lovely lady-mullet. No need for her to run around blinding people with glaring silver locks. Hick also uses this brand. Not that he colors his hair. He barely has any hair. So any kind of detergent would do. Don't mind the cracked calk in the background. Calking is one of the few skills Hick has never mastered.
Anyhoo... on Wednesday, I picked up the almost-empty bottle of shampoo from its shelf at the back of the shower. It was sitting on its lid, due to the almost-emptiness. This particular bottle is hard to click open and closed. I usually try them out in the store before purchase, but I guess I was slacking when I bought this one.
I had clicked it open, squeezed the dregs of the shampoo into my right palm, and was in the process of holding the bottle with my left hand, and trying to click the lid shut with the heel of my right hand.
WHOOPSIE!
That sounds so innocuous, when in reality it was like the detonation of the atom bomb. That bottle shot out of my grip, hit the sliding shower door on my right, and rebounded down to my feet, where it landed, corner of the oval (yes, that IS possible) on my had-none little piggy, next to the whee whee whee little piggy toe.
You know how you wait for the pain? Because the nerves are so long down there at your feet that impulses must travel a great distance to reach your brain.
YEOWWWW!
That definitely smarted! Took my breath away. Okay. It was not like I fell and
Well. I did not see much of anything, because the shampoo ran down into my eyes. The windows to my soul were on fire, right there in the shower! I had to finish my cleansing routine virtually blind.
By the time I got out of the shower, my vision had returned. No blood from a mangled, nearly-severed had-none toe. In fact, the skin wasn't even broken. All my pain had abated. I was no longer burning, nor throbbing. Can you believe that I was not really injured?
Me neither. That hurt like a sonofagun.
Are you ready for one of those step in the door, sit down tubs? The shower can be a dangerous place.
ReplyDeleteNo! I'm not a bath person. And I've stopped seeing those sit-down tubs every commercial break.
DeleteSo, say you buy that sit down tub. What happens if the drain clogs and the water won't go down? Do you climb out? I suppose you could use the plunger while in the tub, but not drain opener. You can't open the door or you will flood your bathroom and a good bit of the surrounding area. I wonder, what would you do??
DeleteOh, no! I guess I would have to sit there, all pruny, waiting for the water to evaporate.
DeleteIt's amazing how much the littlest things can hurt, but a full body slam to the footpath didn't get so much as a whimper out of me. I usually leave the cap open on the bottle until the hair is all lathered up, then I have two hands free for the holding and closing process.
ReplyDeleteWell, you are a genius about your shampoo techniques! Sorry about the body slam. When I fell in the basement a couple years ago, it didn't hurt as much as the shampoo bottle. Of course, I am very well-padded, and didn't hit any bony joints on the floor.
DeleteOh i do recognize the kind of owie of which you speak. A full bottle fell on my foot, then bounced around a few times. Honey thought I fell. Didn't know whether to laugh or cry. The whee-whee-whee piggy...LOL!
ReplyDeleteOoh! The full bottle is worse! I guess he thought you were thrashing around. Or that you bounce!
DeleteHey toes are sensitive little buggers. That was a long drop even if the shampoo bottles was almost empty, thank goodness.
ReplyDeleteYes, I'm sure that bottle was accelerating due to gravity at 9.8 meters per second per second! [You can take the science teacher out of the classroom, but you can't take the science out of the retired teacher.] And also that the corner of that oval lid landed dead center on a nerve in my HAD NONE little piggy! I'm actually surprised that I survived, and did not perish from the excruciating pain...
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