Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Maybe It's a Guilt Trip

Let the record show that Hick did not mention one word about the legal paper I created for him. I took it upstairs and left it on the folder where he had the whole set of papers. Some for signing by This Guy, This Guy's Wife, and HOS (Hick's Oldest Son). Yeah. The deed STILL hasn't been transferred on Hick House! I guess the wait now is for HOS to sit down with Hick and the bad-hay-baling lawyer for signatures and notarizing. HOS has a new job, so I guess they have to work around his schedule, and the bad-hay-baling lawyer, whose practice is in the city, an hour drive home.

Anyhoo, nary a thank-you from Hick. No comment on the high quality of my workmanship. I could probably bale hay better than that barrister, too! I told Hick we need to deduct at least $10 from that lawyer fee. Of course, if we're going by the hour, it would be considerably more.

I though about fishing for a compliment from Hick. Or trying to shame him for not appreciating my mad keyboard skillz. That stuff doesn't work on Hick, though. So imagine my surprise when he came in from puttering around at the BARn (I guess he had some de-Jack-itizing to do), sat down on the long couch, and said,

"I just came in to see if you're still alive. And to see if you might want to go to the casino tomorrow."

FIRST OF ALL, who says that to his wife? Unless maybe he's been trying to kill her all these years (I'm pretty sure of it). Why can't Hick just leave off that first sentence? Am I supposed to think he's doing me a favor? Because I don't. Maybe he was going to celebrate if I wasn't. Maybe he had to call off a party! Does he know something I don't? And if he was just randomly checking, before I started to decompose, I wouldn't know anyway, because I'd be dead! So maybe we'd better have a talk about him blatantly telling me he thought I could be dead, only 3.5 hours after last seeing me before leaving the house...

The good part, though, is that he suggested a trip to the casino. I know he has an ulterior motive (besides maybe killing me). I asked why he came up with this idea, since he'd spent two days staying at a casino in Oklahoma last Monday and Tuesday. And he said he thought maybe he'd go by his Goodwill stores in the city. Uh huh. I KNEW he wasn't just thinking of me and that grueling 43 minutes of work I'd put in on his legal document the night before.

Anyhoo... I haven't been to a casino for about six weeks now, and I haven't been to this one for a long, long time. So long that my comps have dropped off to almost Hick level. At least I'll get a burger or a giant hot dog for lunch.

If I can avoid getting caught, I might even take a picture...

10 comments:

  1. Doesn't he know you by now?! Are you dead, honey?

    Hope you had a good time, got rich, ate some good burgers.

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    1. Hick thinks he knows me, but he has no idea! I did have a good time, didn't get rich, and didn't have a burger. Story coming up.

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  2. If your still alive, you should make a killing at the casino.

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    1. I see what you did there! Didn't make a killing. More like a slow wasting away of my casino bankroll. Didn't even want to kill anyone this time!

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  3. Was he mumbling so the "alive" might have been "alright"? But that doesn't explain the "still". I have to say it. You've got yourself a weird one. I hope you win big at the casino.

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    1. No mumbling. Hope it wasn't accidental foreshadowing of his eventual plan for my demise. We both brought money home. Not total profit.

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  4. My husband says that also, maybe there is an arterial motive.

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    Replies
    1. Every year that goes by, I see more and more corroborating evidence!

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    2. arterial? as in blood letting from an accidental stabbing/slashing/tripped with a knife?
      Or Ulterior?

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    3. Since relinquishing my Grammar Police badge back in May 2016, I don't question. It's pretty funny as an intentional play on words, which is how I took it.

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