The Poop Trucks Are Running!

That's what I discovered on my first trip to town in 10 days. No, I was not hallucinating. I came up over a hill, and there was one of the tanker trucks headed right at me. Not a long semi tanker truck, the type which hauls gasoline, or a shiny kind that transports milk. This is the shorter version, a one-piece tanker truck, with a big fat green hose haphazardly wrapped across the back. The kind that sucks out septic tanks.

We have several different colors of poop trucks here in Outer Backroads. I'm guessing they are private contractors. They suck up the prison poop, and spew it out on the property of a guy down by the low water bridge. Not that section of his property, but up over a ridge, where you can't see it. I've never smelled it, either, though I couldn't right now if I tried. I used to think it was just our local prison, on the way to town, that sent their poop out here. Hick says the trucks come from several counties that have prisons, and not just ours.

Anyhoo... this poop truck driver was taking his half out of the middle. I had to skate T-Hoe's two right-side tires along the edge of the blacktop county road to avoid sideswiping this poop-wagon. Not only is there no shoulder on this road... but I think there's a negative shoulder! There's barely enough room for two normal vehicles to pass, and some portions of the road are narrower than others.

Tragedy narrowly avoided (nobody puts Val in a poop pile!), I continued over the next hill, where I was nearly seizured by the flashing hazard lights of a FedEx van!

Let the record show that there was bright clear sunshine. No need in any stretch of the imagination for this small white FedEx van to have flashing lights. UNLESS the driver was pretending to be some kind of emergency FedEx van, on its way to pick up a freshly harvested kidney. Which would truly be disturbing, since this is only a rural residential area, and people should not be cutting out kidneys all willy-nilly to send off in a red Igloo cooler with FedEx.

At least the FedEx van didn't take up as much road-room as a poop truck. I made it to town without incident. Got my scratchers at the Gas Station Chicken Store, then headed to 10Box for some grocery shopping. 

So smooth was my first town trip post-cold that I was virtually singing, "Me, and my plaaaaacard, rolling down the avenue." Except I'm still a little hoarse. Not to be confused with The Pony. Who had his own adventure first day back in civilization. 

Looks like I've got a little catching-up for you this week.