Another Tale of Unstable Val

Here now! Stop snickering and warming up your crazy temple twirly fingers! This is a story of PHYSICAL instability. 

We had a week of frozen rain, then melting, then actual rain. Our gravel roads are a mess. The repeated freezing at night and thawing during the day have created a myriad of pot holes. Some of them going halfway to China. The loads of rock from last summer are mere memories now, swallowed by the road bed. Funny how you have to blast out solid rock to put in a basement, your phone line rests in a shallow grave a few inches deep, yet the area where the roads run seem to never have heard of bedrock!

Anyhoo... driving T-Hoe along a mile of gravel mud road gets him filthy, even though I keep my speed to 10 mph to avoid a concussion from hitting my head on the roof if I am forced through a pot hole by oncoming traffic. I don't care so much if T-Hoe looks bad until a good rain and some subsequent fair weather. I DO care about getting mud all over my pants legs from the running board caked with an inch of that mud.

Hick had come out to help carry in groceries. I'd put them on the passenger seat, because when we get them out of T-Hoe's rear, high-spirited and poorly-trained Scarlett jumps up on the bumper with her front paws, and leans on me for petting. Not one of my favorite activities in this weather. She doesn't jump up with just the car door open, so that was my plan.

Anyhoo... Hick took all the bags but one. I said I could manage it, since it only held a clear plastic box of little chocolate donuts, and two half-loaves of Nutty Oat Bread. I looped it over my left arm, along with my purse, and held my metal water bottle as usual as I climbed out, using my right hand to steady myself on the open driver's door.

I don't step down from the running board. That requires too much knee-bending. I turn sideways, get both feet out on the running board, and then slither down to the ground. The height is just about right, my rumpus coming off the edge of the seat as my toes hit the ground.

However... when the running board is filthy muddy, I try to avoid dragging my pants legs over it. So I lean back, extend my legs more, and am a bit unbalanced (HEY! I warned you about that crazy temple twirly finger already!) when I hit the ground, leaning back a bit. Usually no big deal. I push myself upright with my left elbow against T-Hoe's side.

Well. Donuts and bread must be heavier than you would think! There I was, leaning back, and slowly tilting to my left, being betrayed by gravity, bread, and donuts! I thought I was going to fall over sideways on the concrete floor, wedged between T-Hoe and the garage wall. Where Scarlett would romp all over my face, probably, the object of her ADORATION already in the house.

I clawed at T-Hoe's open door with my right hand, finally getting a grip on the frame by the window. It was still behind my center of gravity. So it took a lot of effort to stop my slow fall, remain steady, and get my left foot over enough to balance.

If I was smarter, and less offended by a little mud, I might have just sat down on the edge of T-Hoe, at the bottom of the seat, above the running board, and rested for a minute before shifting my feet, and wallowing in that mud to stand up and proceed out of the garage.