The Universe continues to conspire against Val. And family.
Saturday, I put some green olives in a ramekin to have with my lunch. I've been buying the small jars for $1.18 apiece, since they're the best olives for the price. None of those cracked and crushed "salad olives" for Val! There were four olives left in one jar, so I opened the next jar to get more. As I reached for the spoon, my arm hit the empty jar, which was not empty at all, but half full of olive juice!
The olive juice ran onto the cutting block, and over the side before I could right the jar. About half of it waterfalled over the side. Do you know how slimy olive juice is? I thought The Pony might hear my cries of distress. I'm pretty sure he did. He had just left the kitchen as I was opening the first jar. His bedroom door had barely closed when the calamity befell me. Yet The Pony did not come back to assist me. I soaked up the juice with paper towels. Then scrubbed the area with soapy paper towels. Then with a wet paper towels. Then dry paper towels.
I had scarcely settled in my lair when I heard The Pony clomping about in his broken-ankle boot. He was making himself pasta for supper. Some of the 24 boxes of spaghetti noodles that Hick brought home a while back.
"Oh, Mom! I just sent you a picture. I had a little kitchen accident."
"Huh. I had a little kitchen accident, too! Not that you'd notice."
"I was pouring something into my pasta water, and the lid came off."
"Not the GARLIC! Minced garlic is expensive in those little jars! I just bought it."
"Noo... it wasn't the garlic. Look at the picture."
RED PEPPER FLAKES! The Pony usually puts just a few red pepper flakes in his pasta water. Yet that's enough to set my sinuses running, and cause a drip down the back of my throat that has me coughing for a couple hours.
"I hope you didn't boil that. I will drown in my own secretions!"
"No. I threw it off the back porch. It had turned the water yellow already."
"I hope the dogs don't lick it. They'll be HOT DOGS!"
Yeah. I'm pretty sure The Pony might be following in his father's footsteps and trying to kill me. You might want to hold off on making dinner reservations at Chez Pony...
I keep seeing that commercial for some paper towel with the soda spilled heading for the winning lottery ticket and the guy yelling "Nooooooo!" You didn't have a winning scratch-off on the table did you?
ReplyDeleteNo! My winning tickets are in the side of my purse, on the other kitchen counter, beside the sink. I haven't had any good winners in a while. Just enough to keep playing.
DeleteIt might be good to have your sinuses clearing :D
ReplyDeleteI do hope the dogs don't eat any of it and burn their mouths.
The Pony offered to put just a few pepper flakes in a pan and boil them, but I didn't want to keep blowing my nose and clearing my throat, because the whole side of my face is hurting from that sinus thing. I didn't know if it would help more or hurt more!
DeleteGreat grandson #2 walked into my bedroom and proceeded to watch his glass of milk empty from his cup into my bed. Must be a spill kind of week. Your sinuses should be cleared out by now.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad we don't drink milk. That's a tougher cleanup than olive juice and red pepper flakes!
DeleteHoly Pepper Flakes!! Hope the dogs were smart enough to steer clear.
ReplyDeleteI think they were. Neither Jack nor Juno were running through the yard with smoke shooting out of their doggy rumpuses.
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