Monday, August 10, 2020

POP Goes the Geezer

Now that auctions are open again, Hick is on the lookout for bargains. Any bargain will do. He's been deprived for so long that he buys just to be buying. That Storage Unit Store profit isn't going to spend itself! Last week, he went to a Tuesday auction and a Saturday auction.

Hick bought 24 bags of Skinny Pop white cheddar popcorn for $6 at the Saturday auction. I know this, because he sent me an email crowing about it right after his purchase.


What I DIDN'T know was why. Hick is not addicted to white cheddar popcorn. Especially not a brand called Skinny Pop. Sure, he buys snacks at the auction every now and then, if he deems it a great bargain. Which this was, at 25 cents per bag.


The next evening, as Hick sat in the new recliner eating Parmesan Shrimp and crinkle-cut fries, I reminded him that I was still waiting on him to reimburse (me) the house fund for the ammunition he bought on sale at Rural King on Friday.

"I bought $6 worth of popcorn at the auction!"

"Um. THAT is supposed to be your repayment?"

"Yeah. I thought you knew. I sent you a text."

Let the record show that Hick bought two ammunition thingies, at $4.29 apiece. Times two, that is $8.58. The tax rate is about 10 percent, although Hick proclaimed it to be 8 percent. Which makes Hick's debt either $9.26 or $9.44.

When I told The Pony to check the receipt, he said, "It doesn't show the tax rate anywhere."

"It has to! It's always on the receipt. Look at the bottom."

"Oh. I tore off the bottom, because it was a really long receipt, with coupons, and you're always yelling at me about looking at the receipts I leave you."

Funny how he tore it off just above the tax rate. Let the record further show that I DO yell at Hick about the receipts he leaves me, because he leaves them folded in upon themselves, taking two hands and several minutes to unfold and find the store name and the total. I spent 28 years breaking kids of the habit of tossing a folded-up absentee slip on my desk. They were quick learners. Hick does not seem to be a learner at all.

Nor a repayer of debt.

13 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Yes, and some of them sure don't want to learn MUCH!

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  2. Since the popcorn was intended as repayment, I suggest you sit back and enjoy every single bag, just not all at once.

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    1. Technically, it is not my personal allowance/44 oz Diet Coke/lottery/casino money, but money designated weekly for the household. So I would need to share half of it with The Pony. Hick's portion is the unpaid part of his debt!

      I had a bag last night, and it was surprisingly delicious! Fresh, powdered-cheesy, and fluffy kernels. The only drawback was the husks. It's quite a husky popcorn. So I spent considerable time going ARGHHHH, HACHHHH, KERHHHH, trying to get them cleared from my throat.

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  3. Okay. You've gotten into mathematics, here. I can't...

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    1. It's OLD math. Ancient math. No need to be afraid...

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  4. Yeah. I was pretty okay multiplying and dividing the popcorn bags. I was all about that yummy white cheddar popcorn! But then you said that scary "percent" word, and then you threw in the "tax" word. It was about then that I felt that shifting, slightly off balance feeling -- like my brain was blindly reaching for a calculator.
    Suddenly, I was back at SHS in the 8th grade, and Mr. Baker was bending down behind my desk to check my answers, and his hand was gripping my right shoulder and his breath was really hot on my neck because he was sooooo much closer to my neck than he needed to be...
    And hey! Maybe that's why math is scary! 😃

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    1. Oh, no! That took me back to when I was TEACHING 8th grade (science), and the principal walked in and put his hand on my right shoulder, and breathed his COFFEE BREATH on my neck.

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    2. What are the odds! But, ugh...coffee breath!💀

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  5. I remember high school math, where the teacher was so fantastic and really good looking as well. He really knew how to teach! The whole class passed every test that year.

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    1. In 8th grade math, the teacher told us that he'd bet us all a Coke that we'd be using the metric system on the highways by the time we started driving. Good thing nobody made him pay up. Still waiting on the metric system conversion.

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    2. Wonder if he'd have paid up with a 44 oz. Diet Coke...
      (And no, I cannot figure what that would come out to using the metric system.)

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    3. 44 oz Diet Cokes were just a twinkle in my eye back then!

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