Friday, August 7, 2020

This is Just a Little Statin' Place and We're All Backroads Valley Hypocrites

You know how in horror movies, you find out the call was coming from INSIDE the house? And how you scream at the screen, "Don't go in there! No! We'll never see you again!"

Hick is one of those characters who would leave the group to go investigate a strange noise.

Wednesday night, at 10:25, Sleeping Beauty Hick was still up. He came to the top of the basement stairs and announced to me in my OPC (Old People Chair),

"I'm going out to look around. New Bud from up the road just put on our Facebook that somebody is tearing around our roads in a blue and gray Dodge truck, and just drove through Hick Thevictorian's yard."

"That's OUR yard!"

"I know. I'm gonna see if I can see anything."

"Be careful."

Hick couldn't have been too worried. He didn't even take the BB gun sitting by the front door. Off he went, into the dark, to see what ne'er-do-well was driving through our yard. I don't know if he took the Gator or SilverRedO. I didn't hear the dogs barking, all hyped up, to run with the Gator. Our yard is six acres. More if you count the cleared part of the field past the BARn, where Hick has his Freight Container Garage. He had just mowed all the cleared sections that very day.

When he came back in the house 10 minutes later, Hick said he didn't see anything except some fresh tracks in the Freight Container Garage field, near the grassy ditch that divides it from the gravel road.

"Do you think they were driving around in it on purpose, or just lost control on the gravel?"

"They probably slid off the gravel from going too fast. Huh. I just got a message from New Bud to call him."

Let the record show that New Bud lives a few houses up past us. He's the dad of the Cabin-Trashers. They must be gone to another parent, because we haven't seen or heard of them in a while.

New Bud stated that he had put that info on Facebook, because he was hoping that our next-door neighbor, Copper Jack's Human Daddy, would see it. That New Bud knew the driver of the blue and gray Dodge truck was a friend of the live-in grandson of Copper Jack's Human Daddy. He was hoping CJHD would look out in curiosity, and see that very truck parked in his driveway.

Anyhoo... Hick says he is going to mention it to CJHD, who will NOT be pleased with that info, especially since GrandSonny recently wrecked their car after sneaking out at night. Not mention it in complainy way, but just stating the facts, and showing the Facebook message. So CJHD can be aware of the situation. As we would have wanted to be notified if Genius was cuttin' up.

I could barely see the tracks in the field the next day. Way less damage than FedEx did a few years back, in the front yard. I might not have even noticed it if not previously informed.

We are wondering if this recent discovery might have anything to do with the package disappearances, or the spate of litter (fast food cups and wrappers, not mail) down on the Creach.


  1. Six acres? I'd be happy with one. I think my little garden patch is about 100 square feet.
    It's possible the mailbox shenanigans may be from the hooning-at-night Hooligan.

    1. Yes, six acres. We might as well bale it! I'm betting that at least the trash is from the Hooligan. Since he's here on a regular basis, and it wasn't here before.

  2. Joy riding or toying with Hick's treasures in his Barns?

    1. Hick said the tracks didn't go down into the field by the BARn(s). He keeps them locked up.