Sunday, August 23, 2020

Messin' With Sass-Squad

I was over in Sis-Town on Friday, to get gas for T-Hoe. Also some scratchers, of course, seeing as how I was going to be standing right in front of the display case! The Pony wanted two $3 tickets, his new favorite, a Bingo scratcher. That always messes up my purchase. I try to deal in tens and fives, so my change comes out in manageable increments.

My plan was calculated to get back a five and a ten, which are easy to use when I go to Country Mart to buy tickets out of their lottery machine. I knew what I wanted in the Sis-Town Casey's that would get me that change. With pre-paid gas and scratchers, I knew my total would be $46. I had three twenties, but didn't want to get back $14, because that would give me four ones. So I put a dollar with my twenties. Easy peasy, right? I handed over $61, expecting to get back $15.

The clerk looked at me like I was stupid! I may BE stupid, when it comes to things like... oh... I don't know... GEOGRAPHY! But I am not stupid with money. That clerk shuffled the bills. Splayed them out. Looked at me. Pinched the one between his fingers like he was going to hand it back to me.

Let the record show that this clerk was a young man about Genius's age. Mid-twenties. The group that knows everything, and is not afraid to sass back to demonstrate their superior intellect. We've coddled them and given them trophies for merely existing. So we have only ourselves to blame for their superiority complexes. The group that holds us oldsters responsible for every little thing that displeases them about their current life and presumed future. Genius's people. His unofficial squad.

Let the record also show that this young man was polite. At no time did he ACTUALLY sass back. I just sensed a lack of patience in his demeanor. Annoyance. Like a cat twitching its tail.

"That's what I meant to give you. It'll come out right. I don't want a bunch of ones back. This will give me a five and a ten. Punch it in your register. You'll see."

He did. And he did. It was like I'd done a party trick for him! Like reading the time off an analog clock. Old People Magic! His register showed that he owed me $15 in change.

There's no need for these Hipsters to act like we doddering codgers are too Alzheimered to be on the loose. We've still got a trick or two up our shawl-covered sleeves.

In parting, I said, "Don't you hate it when old people come in and mess with your head?"

The clerk did not reply. I guess there's really no good answer to that.

8 comments:

  1. This is absolutely one of the funniest things I have ever read. I read it to Tommy and we could not stop laughing. And, it is sooo true. I love it when I give them something like $4 for a $3.76 cent charge. I get the penny out too late and confuse them when the register says I am owed 24 cents. I have had the clerk point out that they cannot just give me a quarter back because it is already in the cash register and a penny cannot be added. Heaven help us!

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    1. Truth is funnier than fiction! Glad you and Tommy had a laugh.

      You'd think with all the "new math" these young whippersnappers have been subjected to, they would be able to manipulate numbers in several different ways, and not rely on their register or a calculator.

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  2. I can never figure out that lady change trick, I could not be a cashier. Women worry about excess change because it clogs their purse, so you all know how to minimize the change you receive back. Men just stuff all the change in their pockets and when the get home toss it in a big milk jug, so we don't care. If women had pockets they would not be so clever with their change receiving. I'll bet you don't get that look from a lady cashier, they have been taught the trick.

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    1. I do have pockets, but they're reserved for found pennies, and filled in a certain order...

      You are correct that the lady cashiers are pickin' up what I'm layin' down!

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  3. I remember confounding a few cashiers by doing that, but being a cashier myself, I knew what I was doing. Remember the days when little kids played shops and learned about money? That should be in the school curriculum in my opinion.

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    1. Yes, Genius had a little cash register and grocery cart and items and fake money. He's always been good with numbers, but I don't think it was from fake shopping.

      I let the boys make their own purchases with their allowance. The people behind us were probably cursing me! When they wanted a Gameboy game or a preplanned purchase, we'd talk in the car about how they needed to allow for tax, and about how much that would be.

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  4. Had similar situation at Dollar General. I added the dollar and threw the gal for a loop. I expplained it and she still didnlt get it so I told her to ring it up and her register would proveit was right. It did, she still wasn't convinced. Do you miss going back to a new school year? I do for about a day. But I've been gone five years.

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    1. These days, the (young) cashier is always right!

      I can't say I MISS it, but this time of year, with the slant of the sun, and the smell in the air, I ALWAYS think about what it was like getting ready to go back. I left in 2016.

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