Thursday, August 20, 2020

Hick Unveils His Meat

Years ago, Hick came home from the auction and said he almost bought me some meat. Recoiling with horror, I made it clear that I would NOT be eating any auction meat.

"I figured you wouldn't, so I didn't buy it."

"But what kind was it? I'm curious..."

"I don't know. It was in a square box that had MEAT on the side."

No thank you!

Anyhoo... last Friday, Hick took his Cancer Friend to her chemo. He always hopes she feels well enough afterwards to traipse through assorted stores to allow him to buy items on special that are limited to two per person! Even I felt it was wrong of him to expect this of my rival, Lotus Flower! [Not going through an explanation of The Good Earth again!]

Apparently, Lotus Flower was not up to snuff, because Hick only got two of the guns on sale, when he was wanting to buy four. Let the record show that Hick was NOT too disappointed to reveal his meat! Right there in front of Lotus Flower.

While coming out of Rural King, Hick saw a trailer that was selling MEAT! A box for $100. Of course this was like redneck catnip to Hick. He eagerly approached to see what all the hubbub was about.

"That guy was sellin' filets! They was 12 to a box, for $100. I told him I didn't have room for that many. And asked if I could buy half a box for $50. He said okay. So I got us 6 filets for $50. We can pay me back later. I'm keeping them in my buddy's freezer while we sit and talk like every Friday, after I drop off my friend."

"Huh. That seems kind of expensive."

"Val! It's filet mignon! You can't find it for that price in a store. Not even Save A Lot. Well. Probably you can't find ANY filet mignon in Save A Lot. But it's a steal."

Okay. So Hick put three in the freezer of FRIG II, and three in FRIG II proper, to thaw out for grilling on Sunday. We were all looking forward to the meal. Especially Hick and The Pony, confirmed carnivores.

Conclusion tomorrow...


  1. This sounds like these shady guys who ring your doorbell and say they've got a bunch of meat in their truck that they couldn't sell to some restaurant so they're offering it to me at bargain basement prices. I've never been tempted.

    1. We've never had those shady guys around here. Our area gets the shady guys who just happen to have some asphalt or sealer left, and would like to do your driveway. They start the job, pocket the money, and never return.

      WE don't get them up in here, because we're on a dead-end gravel road. But people in more townish areas have them.

      Besides, Hick's buddy, Buddy, hauled HIS leftover blacktop to use on Hick and Buddy's Badly Blacktopped Hill.

  2. One of those meat sellers came to my daughter's door with hsi freezer int he back of his truck. I told her to leave that man's meat alone!

    1. Thus providing her with fodder for "Listen to Your Mother."

  3. Replies
    1. I would say that's a sound rule to live by: Do Not Touch Hick's Meat. OR the meat of a stranger on a Rural King parking lot.

  4. Replies
    1. Heh, heh! It might have actually been a steal!

  5. I dislike frozen meat. If you cook it from frozen, it is raw in the middle, if you let it thaw, all the flavour (blood) runs out along with the thawing ice and after that, you might as well grill shoe leather for all the taste that's left.
    Your title had me rearing back from the screen, wondering if I should avert my eyes.

    1. Yes, the flavor is much better before it's frozen. But I might have worried more if Hick brought home FRESH meat he bought from a guy on the parking lot of Rural King.