The Backroads Stop

Genius called last week. He said he's been taking the train or bus to work at his new (since last October) job at OOBER. He really likes his job in the driverless car division. The driving to work, not so much. His commute is three miles. Which I guess seems like forever in city traffic. So now, depending on what time he's leaving, he either walks across the street to catch the train, or a bit farther for the bus.

"It's great! I can catch up on my emails, or do other stuff. Traffic here is INSANE! There's something called the "Pittsburgh Left." They don't have left turn lanes here! So if somebody is signaling, waiting to make a left, the ONCOMING TRAFFIC STOPS to let them across! It's crazy!"

Huh. I've never heard of the "Pittsburgh Left." But Thursday, I became way too familiar with the "Backroads Stop."

Let the record show that I was only out and about for 90 minutes. But THREE TIMES, the scoff-lawing rapscallions who had somehow been issued (or not) drivers' licenses, made my life a living Not-Heaven!

The first was over at the four-way stop by the furniture store where we got The Pony's cheap basement couch to lie on for gaming. This guy, in a small white SUV with a handicap plate, sailed through on the turn of the car in front of him! That's not allowed! The first car took its turn. Went straight across after stopping. WHITE SUV rolled through on his tail, and made a left, while we other three law-abiding drivers sat there, jaws unhinged.

As you might imagine, my mouth was writing checks my bank would probably question me to cash, as I tooled along in T-Hoe, behind that WHITE SUV that just happened to be going my way. I really hope he looked in the mirror to read my lips.

The second Backroads Stop occurred down by the river, beside the closed farmer's market, in Sis-Town. A dude in a white pickup truck, pulling a flatbed trailer, barely tapped the brakes before scooting out in front of me from a side street to my right. Shame on him. He got into the left turn lane (too bad Genius doesn't read here, or he would feel nostalgic) at the three-way stop. I was going straight there, and passed him on the right. My grip on the steering wheel may or may not have isolated a certain finger.

The third Backroads Stop was at the School-Turn intersection by Casey's. It was a rare instance of three lanes of traffic arriving at the stop signs at the same instant. But wouldn't you know it, the ONLY GUY who was a hair later that the three of us was the one who blew through that intersection like he had no brakes. Made no pretense of pretending to take a turn. Gunned that gray pickup like he was entitled to bypass a big red sign with S T O P on it in white letters.

My dad used to say he thought the automobile factories had stopped putting blinkers on the cars. I think they've stopped installing brakes.