"Oh, I got some chips at the auction last night."
"Chips?" I was fondly remembering the Sun Chips from several months ago.
"Yeah. They're on the chair. Cheetos."
I don't know how I could have missed that giant box of 32 bags of Cheetos! I walked right past them when I left for town and returned from town. They're not full-size bags, but like a Big Grab. Each bag says 3 servings. Three times the size of the individual snack bags. Hick got the whole box for $2.50. He says that comes out to just under 8 cents per bag.
I went to look at them. To take a snack down to my dark basement lair. I noticed two problems.
They were two weeks past the expiration date. That was not really a concern. Some of the most delicious chips I ever ate were five weeks expired. In fact, my fellow faculty members fought over them at the teacher lunch table. Those were the Save A Lot brand tortilla chips.
No, the date didn't worry me. It was the flavor.
"Oh. They're FLAMIN' HOT."
"They're not really that hot."
"Did you eat a bag already?"
"No. Nobody was buying them, so this one guy did, and he opened one up, and we all tried them. Then we bought the other boxes. It's not all that spicy."
"You like spicy things. Like when Chinese food makes your head sweat."
"These Cheetos don't make my head sweat. That's how I know they're not spicy."
"Well...enjoy your 32 bags of Cheetos."
"Try one. They're not that hot."
"I'll take a bag down and try them. They better not be hot!"
Okay. I ate two Cheetos. Just to make sure I didn't like them. They are not all that spicy. They just have no taste! It's like eating a piece of styrofoam, with a kick at the end. I might as well lick one of those dried pepper seed thingies from the shaker on the Pizza Hut tables.
Hick has already given six bags to HOSS (Hick's Oldest Son's Son). As for the remainder...
"I can take some over to the neighbors' for their Super Bowl party." [which he was invited to on Monday evening]
Not a fan of Hick's latest purchase. Sometimes he hits a home run. This time, he whiffed.
Stick some Sriracha sauce on 'em.
ReplyDeleteIs there a market for Sriracha Styrofoam snacks?
DeleteOr, use a really hot dip. Any heat is too much for me.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a big fan of the heat. You won't catch me taste-testing hot sauces.
DeleteNo orange fingers for you!
ReplyDeleteI should have taken a picture of the individual styrofoam sticks! They were more red than orange. The two I tried did not leave the telltale powder on my fingers. Not that I would have licked it off anyway.
DeleteI'd be wary of trying anything labelled Flaming Hot too, Although, my son has some "hot" sauce that is supposed to make your eyes water and he says it isn't all that hot, but has a nice flavour so he'll buy it again.
ReplyDeleteSome people like the hot stuff. I like my slaw.
DeleteWell he is trying....
ReplyDeleteCan't win if you don't play! I'm not sure why he thought we needed 32 bags of a snack I don't like. The Sun Chips were great, but this purchase is right up there with the box of auction meat that I talked him out of bidding on.
DeleteThere is a reason they went out of date without selling. Probably the taste, or the lack of.
ReplyDeleteProbably, combined with that outrageous price of $1.89 for that size package!
Delete