My mom used to call every morning at 6:00, and we'd chat for a half hour before I went to work. Last month, The Pony suggested that I give him a call at 6:00. That would give him a chance to wake up, and me a chance to talk, since we basically only see each other on holidays and casino trips. Poor Pony. He didn't know what he was getting into.
I've been watching Below Deck marathons on BRAVO. It's a guilty pleasure. Okay. I don't really feel guilty at all. It's just a pleasure. The current season is Below Deck Mediterranean, with Captain Sandy. I was chatting with The Pony about them being in Croatia. Then the south of France.
You may recall that I am not well-versed in world geography. I can label every state, and recite most of the capitals. But when it comes to other countries, I'm a blithering idiot. I'm not proud of that fact. I consider myself a reasonably intelligent person. After all, I was VALEDICTORIAN, by cracky!
I have a knack for English, except for a mental block with irony. I have no problems with math, able to figure percentages in my head, and do my own taxes, and explain geometry when Hick isn't interchanging angles with elbows. I can tell you where assorted organs will be located before cutting up a mammal, and how Newton's Laws cannot be broken, and why your feet actually get cold because energy is flowing out of them and into the chilly floor. I can read music, play a clarinet, pick a melody on piano accompanied by chords with the left hand. But I CANNOT tell you where over 50 percent of the countries on earth are located!
I blame this on my high school geography and world history teachers. The first was a football coach who only talked about football. We didn't even have textbooks! The second went by the nickname of Bore Moore, a perfectly pleasant young woman who might as well have been nicknamed Sominex. Even though I diligently remained awake, no learning was forthcoming. It is so much harder to learn "new" things when you're old...
Anyhoo... I asked The Pony about where Croatia was. What it was near. He said, "The Mediterranean Sea." DUH! As if that would be a help! Then he said it was near Italy and Greece. WAIT! Italy and Greece are near each other??? Then I said, well, that might make sense, if Greece was by Rome, because the Olympics have Greco Roman wrestling. To which The Pony replied that ROME is a CITY, which DUH, everybody knows THAT! But The Pony said Greece and Italy didn't really interact that much, and I was confused to think that they weren't wrestling each other in ancient times.
Anyhoo... The Pony sent me a map. I told him not to, because that always raises other questions when I see things are not as I imagined.
I looked at that map after we concluded our call. Of course I had questions! So the texting began.
"Wait a minute! Germany is landlocked, and ABOVE Switzerland???"
"Germany isn't landlocked."
"It is in your map. I was wondering how the Allies stormed the beach at Normandy."
"Normandy is in France."
"Oops! Were we fighting France?"
"France was occupied by Germany in the north and had a nominal collaborator regime in the south."
"Science is so much simpler."
And so is watching Below Deck.
I know why I am bad at geography--so many countries are no longer there. I studied geography in the 50s and early 60s. If all those countries still existed, I would be okay for a woman almost 78.
ReplyDeleteSeveral years ago, I was seriously considering getting a degree in geography just to get myself better informed.
Then, I thought I might get home-schooling material with maps. I am a dunce when it comes to geography. As an English major, I am fine with English. Did you know no one is taught the mechanics of English when they get a degree, BA or MA in English?
Then I taught GED, learning the math part as I went since I was weak there. But, I only have vague notions about where countries are located. US states and capitals are no problem. We have not eliminated or added any states, thankfully. However, I do surprise myself on Jeopardy, knowing more geography than I realize some days. I know more math than geography, and that is disturbing.
I bemoan the fact I need to learn more geography weekly, if not daily.
I did not know that about the mechanics of English when getting a degree. English is easy for me, but how boring would it be if I followed all the rules when writing my blog? Do as the mechanics dictate, not as I do! I'm not blogging to be read like a technical manual!
DeleteGeography is not my thing. Even if I'd had good teachers, I probably still wouldn't recall the locations of other countries. I've never been good with directions. I'd have to write them down, then write them in reverse order to find my way back. One time I got lost in a Dillard's department store. Dang them and their circular floor plan!
English was easy for me, too. But, I was surprised when I was getting my MA, that mechanics were not taught. English was my favorite class.
DeleteChemistry was my favorite, unless we were having literature in English.
DeleteI'm with you on the geography bit Val only I even have problems with the United States. At lunch last week, I was talking about a trip to Maine that I took a few years ago and I was being questioned by my friends as they had never been there. "Did you stay along the coast?" I couldn't remember but I remembered visiting light houses and I knew the city where I stayed. They guessed that I did stay along the coast since I was visiting light houses and after looking it up when I got home, they were right. Sigh!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you are good at other things that take up space in your brain. Things that have shoved geography out the door, and held it closed.
DeleteI think I'll stick with what it said above this box and say "no comment".
ReplyDeleteThat is a good answer to give somebody who knows where to find all your organs, with a tentative knowledge of how to remove them and sell them all willy-nilly over the innernets...
DeleteGet yourself a good quality Atlas and keep it open at whichever page has the entire world map on it. The huge island continent under the equator, down towards the South Pole area is Australia. Better yet, get one of those globes you can spin, they're fun. Well, kids like them.
ReplyDeleteI have a general idea of where Australia is, because it's a continent.
DeleteAlso, technically, England is not an island. It is PART of the island that makes up the UK (United Kingdom) along with Scotland in the north and Wales being down on the West Coast.
ReplyDeleteIreland is an Island off the west coast of England.
i learn these things because when I am reading I like to look up where the places are that I am reading about. Sadly some are fiction and not to be found.
I'm pretty sure you told me this before, and THOUGHT I WOULD REMEMBER IT!!! I'm also pretty sure you'll have to tell me this again sometime...
DeleteLike you, I have to look up the locations of all those countries. Besides looking unintelligent, I think it might be that I just don't care! You know, like most Americans.
ReplyDeleteI like to think that those countries are doing just fine without my knowledge of their location. Its not like they need to consult me about matters of state.
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