Friday, August 19, 2022

One Man's Trash Is Another Man's Not-Trash

When I got home from town on Thursday, my little spotted Jack, and big neighbor dog Copper Jack, were barking their fool heads off, running across the concrete carport behind the garage, jumping over the side to chase (but never catch) the squirrels that eat dog food off the porch.
Those crazy fleabags! By the corner of the carport, beside the gravel driveway, yet not on the concrete, was more trash they'd dragged in. There has been a styrofoam container in various locations around the garage for a week now. It's currently on the property line between our back yard and Copper Jack's field. Looks like maybe it once held a convenience store hot dog. I don't know where they get these things!
Anyhoo... this new trash was a big clear plastic bag. Like a dry cleaner (remember those?) would put over the hanger. Or what extra parts would come in for put-together furniture. It had the black writing about how it's a suffocation danger. It looked like there might be a napkin or folded-up paper plate inside. 
Of course I went on past it. Yard trash lies in Hick's domain. He picks it up when he mows. Obviously, he hasn't mowed that fence line where the hot dog container currently rests! I forgot all about it. Until...
"Did you see that package outside?"
"Package? No."
"Me and Pony seen it when we come up the driveway. He picked it up."
"Oh! You mean that bag of trash? I don't know where those dogs get that stuff! Don't blame Juno. She wasn't even out there!"
"It's not trash. It's a package."
"I didn't order anything!"
"It's for Nick. Bev's husband. He had it sent here."
"I WISH THEY'D QUIT DOING THAT! Get their packages sent to their own house!"
"What even is it? Pony. See if it says on the package."
The Pony, having younger eyes, flipped the package all around. It was in a slick white envelope. About the size you could put a paperback best-seller in. (Remember those?)
"Huh. It says it's a threaded filter assembly."
"Oh. That's for his stove."
Why in the NOT-HEAVEN would he have such a small package delivered out here? Small enough for dogs to chew. Because you KNOW that UPS (the culprit this time) and FedEx don't give a fat rat's rumpus about where they leave a package. 

I'd like to think the driver got out and left it on the porch, and the dogs dragged it out to the driveway. But their track record leads me to believe the driver just tossed that package out the non-existent door of the truck, and drove off.


  1. It's a good thing Hick stopped to look at it, something like that is important (not according to UPS and FedEx though). So now he can get it to Bev's and get that stove fixed.

    1. I actually stopped. I put down T-Hoe's window and stuck my head out. I was right by that "trash" bag! Still looked like trash to me! So good for The Pony picking it up.

      It would behoove Bev to have her packages delivered to her own house!

  2. Update on the suitcase bones here, well in New Zealand. Turns out they are the bones of a couple of primary school aged children and it appears they were long dead before the bones were packaged in cardboard and then into the cases. Mystery! I hope they are doing DNA tests on them, perhaps some parents will finally get answers about their missing children.

    1. I saw a headline about that a few minutes ago, but haven't read the details yet.

  3. Why would Bev assume it would be okay to use your address? I hate people who just assume it would be okay!

    1. I suppose it's because she used to live out here, and sees it as just a small change in street name and numbers?

      Whatever her previous package was, she kept texting Hick about it, telling him to watch for it, because it was expensive! Turns out it got delivered by the USPS, so at least it was left in a lock box down on Mailbox Row, with the key in EmBee.

      The Veteran pulled that delivery stunt, too. When he was in Iraq, even though he had a wife and home with their own address. Tricky business, since he's a Jr, and getting the mail sorted out when he finally put in an address change for his own house was annoying.

  4. Hate is such a strong word, so let's say dislike instead.

    1. Okay by me. I, too, strongly dislike it when that happens--being used as a package-receiver.