Friday, August 5, 2022

Like a Threatening Phone Call Coming From Inside the House

Hick has been renovating a house for Back-Creek Neighbor Bev. He'll do almost anything for money! Bev pays fairly. Hick also bills her for the gas to get out there, since her new old house is more remote than the one where she used to live behind us, over the creek.

Hick likes Bev and her husband Nick well enough. They are personable, though sometimes a bit too demanding for Hick's tastes. He'll do stuff in the order he thinks needs doing, and doesn't like to flit from project to project.

Since way back when Hick first met Bev, he described her as bat-crap crazy. Different words, and not in a mean way. His biggest insult to ME is that "You're nuttier than Bev!"

It took Bev and Nick a while to find this house. They lived in a camper for a while, moving from campground to campground, searching for the perfect house to satisfy Bev. It had to be somewhat off the grid. Away from power lines, which she says emit radiation that makes her sick. I'm not one to judge. A person wants what they want in a house, and Bev has every right to feel comfortable in her surroundings. She rarely leaves the house, unless Nick is there to watch it. She's sure somebody is going to get in and mess with things while she's gone.

Bev and Nick have been living in their camper parked behind the new old house while Hick and Old Buddy have been working on it. One day Hick was standing on the front porch talking to Bev as he was getting ready to leave, and a truck pulled into the driveway. Bev was NOT happy. Turned out to be one of her neighbors, stopping to introduce himself. Bev of course thought he had ulterior motives concerning her new property, but Hick tried to explain it was just that guy's way of being nice.

Anyhoo... Nick called Hick a couple mornings ago while Hick was on the way. Nick works a regular job, and he was filling Hick in on something they wanted done about the house.

"Sometimes Nick doesn't make much sense, but this time I agreed with what he was telling me. He said he couldn't stay to show me, since he had to get to work, but to go on in and get started when I got there.

Me and Old Buddy was almost there, and I really had to go poop! So as soon as we pulled in, I told him, 'Get the stuff out. I've gotta poop!' And I run in the house to the bathroom.

I was afraid I wasn't going to make it! I rushed to the bathroom and pushed the door open and something didn't look right. The shower curtain was pulled. And on the toilet, I saw a bra and panties. That's when it hit me that Bev was in the shower! I pulled the door closed and got out of there as fast as I could!"

"That's all you needed! For Bev to see you in her bathroom while she was taking a shower! Just proving that everyone is out to get her! That'd be the end of your job there. You're REALLY lucky that she DIDN'T see you. She might have had a knife in the shower. Like a reverse Psycho."
"Yeah, I'm glad she didn't see me!"
"Are you ever going to tell her?
"But where did you poop?"

"I held it! Until she came out of the house. I guess the shock made me not have to go!"

Heh, heh. Back-Creek Neighbor Bev scared the poop INTO Hick!


  1. What a dilemma! Poor Hick. I'm glad Bev didn't see or hear him though, she doesn't need one more odd happening to drive her even more crazy.

    1. Yes. I definitely think it's best that Bev NEVER finds out about this Hickish faux pas.

  2. I laughed so hard I had to go to the bathroom! Poor Hick, having to hold it!

    1. I think Hick was more afraid of the consequences of being caught in Bev's bathroom than of pooping his pants!