Sunday, July 24, 2022

The Pony Is an Oily Hipster (Part 1)

The Pony is proving himself to be an Accident Magnet. Wednesday, at 4:19 pm:
 
"Fell today getting into the Metris! Got a knot on my hip that's already starting to turn color."

"NOOOO!"

The Pony was off a little early, and stopped by the grocery store across from the post office.

"I'm going to make steak and pasta tonight, I think."

"Mmm. I'm sure it will make your hip feel better."

At 5:51, The Pony was upset.
 
 
"Bottom of my steak was brown! This is deceptive packaging! Should be fine, though."

"They do that. As long as the date is good, and it smells okay, it should be fine."

By 5:56, The Pony's day had gotten worse.

"Agh. Steak splashed a lot of hot oil onto my hand."
 
 
"Hope you're okay, Bruised-Hip Burn Victim."

"Hope so too! Splashed all up the side of my thumb, and up my arm and on my hip."

"Run cold water over it. Good luck getting your hip into the sink!"

 
"Mmm. Isn't that steak a little more done than you like?"

"Yeah. I was kinda winging it, time wise, and was distracted by dealing with the burn. The biggest burn:"
 
 
"That's gonna hurt in the sun tomorrow! Maybe you should go back to the store for some gauze."
 
"That sounds painful on its own. Putting on the oven mitt to finish cooking hurt it! The steak splashed a lot of hot oil onto my hand when I first put it in the pan, because it fell off the spatula early."
 
"Is there any accident you HAVEN'T had? Besides slamming your own leg in the car door, I mean..."
 
"Remember, I DID that! It just didn't break the skin on my leg. I showed you when I came out for the casino the first time."
 
"Oh, yeah. I guess my PTSD from my leg-hole blocked it out."
 
"I run my hand under cold water every time I get up. It's mostly fine. I'll see how it is in the morning. That distinct dark line around it is a bit more recent. The thumb is the worst. The splotches on my arm, torso, and thigh aren't as bad."
 
"You're going to run out of parts to hurt. Stay away from that scratching cat's door slot tomorrow."
 
"I'm not gonna be on that route. I HOPE!" 

Tomorrow: The Pony's day gets a big thumbs-down...

12 comments:

  1. Tell him next time he gets burn put yellow mustard on it. It's an old restaurant trick - I will keep it from blistering and pulls all the heat out.

    Melissa

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    1. That's one I never heard of! I'll pass the info on to The Pony. I guess he'll need to buy some yellow mustard if he intends to keep cooking steaks. He doesn't have any, because he's not a mustard fan.

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    2. An icy bag of frozen peas works just as well.

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    3. The Pony is not a pea-eater, so he did not have frozen peas on hand, either.

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    4. Tell him from me, to buy a bag of peas and keep them in his freezer for just putting on burns and sprains.

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    5. As long as The Pony knows he doesn't have to eat them, he might do it!

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  2. I worked in the meat-room section of Coles for about a month before deciding it wasn't for me. We place the meat in the trays, wrap them in the plastic which is then sealed by running it across a heat pad. This is where the browning of the meat occurs, the heat pad may have been a bit too warm, or the meat was set on it a bit too long. The meat is fine to eat.
    now for a steak cooking tip for The Pony. Do NOT put oil in the pan where it can then splash up and burn you. Instead, brush oil directly onto the steak. Heat the pan until a drop of water dripped into it sizzles and bounces all around. Then put in the steak, oiled side down, and brush oil over the remaining side. This way you also DON'T get spare oil burning onto the pan. once the steak is cooked, deglaze the pan by adding a tiny bit of water and stirring it around, use that water to make gravy if you like gravy over your steak.

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    1. I will pass your cooking method on to The Pony next time we talk. This experience ought to make him shy away from his old way of searing his steak!

      I've noticed that when I stack something on the fresh meat, whether bringing it home, or in the bottom of FRIG II... the meat sometimes discolors where the stacked object put pressure in it.

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  3. It's usually fine as long as any discolouration isn't green. and the fat always goes "off" before the meat, so don't buy steaks where the fat is grey instead of white or creamy coloured.

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  4. Yikes that looks horribly painful.

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    1. The Pony said the hand burn hurts worse than the broken ankle.

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