Wednesday, July 13, 2022

Good-Ex, Bad-Ex, FedEx (Part 2)

You don't think Even Steven would let me have a good experience with FedEx, and then shuffle off to Backroads to meddle in other people's lives, do you? No siree, Bob! Even Steven had to settle the score.

On Wednesday morning, I again got an email from FedEx saying my package was out for delivery. That would be The Pony's shoes. I figured they'd get here eventually, and did not alter my schedule. I headed for town around 2:30. I met Hick at the same place on the gravel hill where I'd met the GOOD FedEx driver. Hick said he was going to get in the pool for a while. Off I went for my scratchers and a couple items from Country Mart.

Just past the low-water bridge where we'd seen THREE FedEx drivers futzing around a couple weeks ago, I saw such a truck coming at me. I quickly called Hick to warn him.

"Hey, I just passed a FedEx truck. I'm sure it's bringing The Pony's shoes. So you might want to wait and keep the dogs on the porch until he leaves them."

"Okay. I'm just getting out of the truck. I'll watch."

At 2:57 I got an email from FedEx saying my package had been delivered. So that was a relief. I'd have The Pony's shoes to drop off when I stopped by his house on Thursday.

At 3:09 I got a text from Hick: "No package and no FedEx truck. Getting in pool."

At 3:14 I sent Hick a text. "Just got a message it was delivered. At 2:57."

Of course calling Hick did no good. He leaves his phone in the house when he gets in Poolio. And his phone suspiciously delays texts to my phone. So I didn't know if maybe he sent that text BEFORE the FedEx email that the package had been delivered. Maybe he DID have the package, and forgot to send another text, or it was just slow arriving.
Sitting on the parking lot of Country Mart, I tried to get Proof Of Delivery from that FedEx email. All I could find was the time, and that there had been no signature, because none was required. It did NOT list a location where the package was left. Usually it will say PORCH, or GARAGE, or DRIVEWAY. But this one said nothing. That was disturbingly suspicious...

Of course I was worried about The Pony's package being out there somewhere in the hands of strangers! FedEx is notorious for leaving Hick's medical packages at a house down by where I met the GOOD FedEx driver. Leaving those medical packages on their porch, for the lady who lives there to find and look up our number and call us to come get it. So I thought maybe SHE might have The Pony's package on her porch. OR I was going to tell Hick to get on the Facebook page of our association, and ask if anybody had a package addressed to us.

All manner of remedies for finding The Pony's package were fleeting through my brain as I drove home. We'd look all around the garage and carport and porch and driveway. The box would be too big for the dogs to drag into the yard. I'd have Hick check with that lady, and with the other residents out here. Then I'd have to call FedEx and have them track down that driver and ask WHERE he left The Pony's package.

As I came down the hill towards mailbox row, in a highly irritated mood, something caught my eye.

You don't think...


That was The Pony's package, perched atop our row of rural mailboxes, on the blacktop county road. Sitting there like a rare unicorn placed on a pedestal, a virtual drive-thru lane for thieves!

How long do think The Pony's package had left for this world, before being absconded-with by ne'er-do-wells?

I'm guessing just about an hour, close to the amount of time that had passed since I saw that FedEx truck on my way to town. I was still within the Golden Hour.

That dirty low-life driver hadn't even tried to deliver that package! Hadn't even turned left on our gravel road right across from the mailboxes, to cover the one mile distance to our house! Had just set that box on top of the shelf over our mailbox. LIKE WE LIVE IN A MAILBOX!

LIVID is a mild description of my mood. I'd love to send these pictures to FedEx and request that justice be meted out to that driver. But they probably won't open an attachment with the pictures.

Yeah. My original opinion of FedEx has been restored.


  1. Nothing goes well or easy when it comes to UPS. I have gotten all sorts of bent and torn boxes.

    1. I have gotten more smashed and torn boxes from UPS than from FedEx, but at least UPS gets them delivered to my house, and leaves them in a reasonable location where the dogs can't eat them. My name for UPS is Unqualified People Shipping.

  2. A delivery person was scared off by daughter's dog barking in the window, tossed the package and ran!

    1. That's like the wide-eyed FedEx driver I met barrelling up the driveway as I came home one evening, who stopped to tell me that I had an ANIMAL in my garage! Because he saw its eyes when he opened the people door to set a package in there. I explained that we had five cats who know how to use the little cat-door on the other side. I don't think he was any less afraid upon hearing that.

  3. I call Amazon all the time about deliveries! They throw them, damage them, and toss them on the end of the porch where we cannot reach them on our walkers. They refuse to walk up the ramp. So, they know people have mobility issues and toss them where we cannot get to them without danger. Amazon, FedEx, and USPS all are horrid.

    1. The Pony says USPS does the Amazon deliveries around here. That's why he always has to work Sundays, it's Amazon Day. Also, he's not looking forward to the resulting deliveries from Amazon Prime Day for the past two days! He says it's like Christmas in July, they'll be so busy.

      The Pony has had only one complaint his whole 15 months working for the USPS. He said he slid a package down the porch, due to icy steps. When he got back to the office, his manager said the lady called and said he threw her package, so in the future, to either walk it to the door, or if the steps weren't safe, to bring it back for delivery another day when the steps were clear. Lesson learned.

  4. I'd go ahead and send a picture anyway with a scathing reminder that this is NOT how deliveries are supposed to be made. also, that is the rattiest set of mailboxes I have ever seen, well maybe not, but it sure looks like the structure needs some TLC. That wood is all splintery!

    1. I am still highly ticked-off, so that could happen!

      So sorry for the rattiest mailboxes you have ever seen. You must not have seen many rural mailboxes. This ain't the Taj Mahal. We don't sit on puffy pillows, sipping tea with our unicorns on rhinestone leashes eating cotton candy out of feedbags while we await delivery of our mail.

      That structure is splintery from the local ne'er-do-wells spending years hammering the mailboxes with metal baseball bats. That's why there's a structure at all, for protection. And why some of the mailboxes have bent doors. They get jabbed by the bats, since hammering the structure doesn't dent the mailboxes! Also the reason for the ratty fiberglass top on the splintery wood. Which doesn't protect the wood much from baseball bats.

      The posts holding up the ratty wooden structure had to be encased in quick-dry concrete, because sometimes the ne'er-do-wells ram the whole thing to turn it over and drive on it. As soon as we could put up an aesthetic wooden structure, it would become the prime target until it was ratty again. It's a losing battle, and we are resigned to defeat.

      People who don't have a ratty wooden structure, whose mailboxes are single sitting ducks, keep several new mailboxes on hand so they can replace them without a trip to town when they are crushed or run over. Just the cost of living here in paradise!

  5. I hadn't thought about the ne'er do wells and their baseball bats. That's a real shame, you can't have something nicer because they have nothing better to do than run around causing damage.

    1. A guy up over the hill from our mailbox had a beautiful red-brick base for his, with an arched brick top over the mailbox itself, which was completely encased in this brick structure. I don't know how they did it, but the ne'er-do-wells destroyed two sides of that brick base, and also beat a hole in the top. Maybe they drove into the base. It would have taken more like a sledgehammer than a bat to break those bricks.

      That guy has since moved. I don't remember if there's a mailbox now at all. Maybe the new people pick up their mail in town at the post office. Or there might be a cheap mailbox on a post that I just don't notice because they're so common. Anyhoo... bye-bye, beautiful brick mailbox!