You don't think Even Steven would let me have a good experience with FedEx, and then shuffle off to Backroads to meddle in other people's lives, do you? No siree, Bob! Even Steven had to settle the score.
On Wednesday morning, I again got an email from FedEx saying my package was out for delivery. That would be The Pony's shoes. I figured they'd get here eventually, and did not alter my schedule. I headed for town around 2:30. I met Hick at the same place on the gravel hill where I'd met the GOOD FedEx driver. Hick said he was going to get in the pool for a while. Off I went for my scratchers and a couple items from Country Mart.
Just past the low-water bridge where we'd seen THREE FedEx drivers futzing around a couple weeks ago, I saw such a truck coming at me. I quickly called Hick to warn him.
"Hey, I just passed a FedEx truck. I'm sure it's bringing The Pony's shoes. So you might want to wait and keep the dogs on the porch until he leaves them."
"Okay. I'm just getting out of the truck. I'll watch."
At 2:57 I got an email from FedEx saying my package had been delivered. So that was a relief. I'd have The Pony's shoes to drop off when I stopped by his house on Thursday.
At 3:09 I got a text from Hick: "No package and no FedEx truck. Getting in pool."
At 3:14 I sent Hick a text. "Just got a message it was delivered. At 2:57."
Of course calling Hick did no good. He leaves his phone in the house when he gets in Poolio. And his phone suspiciously delays texts to my phone. So I didn't know if maybe he sent that text BEFORE the FedEx email that the package had been delivered. Maybe he DID have the package, and forgot to send another text, or it was just slow arriving.
Sitting on the parking lot of Country Mart, I tried to get Proof Of Delivery from that FedEx email. All I could find was the time, and that there had been no signature, because none was required. It did NOT list a location where the package was left. Usually it will say PORCH, or GARAGE, or DRIVEWAY. But this one said nothing. That was disturbingly suspicious...
Of course I was worried about The Pony's package being out there somewhere in the hands of strangers! FedEx is notorious for leaving Hick's medical packages at a house down by where I met the GOOD FedEx driver. Leaving those medical packages on their porch, for the lady who lives there to find and look up our number and call us to come get it. So I thought maybe SHE might have The Pony's package on her porch. OR I was going to tell Hick to get on the Facebook page of our association, and ask if anybody had a package addressed to us.
All manner of remedies for finding The Pony's package were fleeting through my brain as I drove home. We'd look all around the garage and carport and porch and driveway. The box would be too big for the dogs to drag into the yard. I'd have Hick check with that lady, and with the other residents out here. Then I'd have to call FedEx and have them track down that driver and ask WHERE he left The Pony's package.
As I came down the hill towards mailbox row, in a highly irritated mood, something caught my eye.
You don't think...
WHAT IN THE FLIPPIN' NOT-HEAVEN?????
That was The Pony's package, perched atop our row of rural mailboxes, on the blacktop county road. Sitting there like a rare unicorn placed on a pedestal, a virtual drive-thru lane for thieves!
How long do think The Pony's package had left for this world, before being absconded-with by ne'er-do-wells?
I'm guessing just about an hour, close to the amount of time that had passed since I saw that FedEx truck on my way to town. I was still within the Golden Hour.
That dirty low-life driver hadn't even tried to deliver that package! Hadn't even turned left on our gravel road right across from the mailboxes, to cover the one mile distance to our house! Had just set that box on top of the shelf over our mailbox. LIKE WE LIVE IN A MAILBOX!
LIVID is a mild description of my mood. I'd love to send these pictures to FedEx and request that justice be meted out to that driver. But they probably won't open an attachment with the pictures.
Yeah. My original opinion of FedEx has been restored.