The Pony brought home Chinese food for us Friday night. Hick had the Hunan Chicken with fried rice and eggroll, I had the Garlic Chicken with fried rice and crab rangoon, and The Pony had Sweet & Sour Chicken with white rice. Plus we had extra crab rangoon. Mmm.... having my 3rd day of it now, to finish off the leftovers.
I forgot to take a fortune cookie Friday night, but on Saturday evening, I took one down to my dark basement lair on my supper tray. When I remembered it, I saw something unusual. The fortune was sticking out the end of the cookie, and it was GREEN! A dark teal color. How odd! I guess this restaurant switched fortune cookie suppliers. When I removed my fortune, I found THIS:
I had a COMMERCIAL in my fortune cookie! That's not right! Is nothing sacred any more? Must everything be for profit? I am happily retired, and I don't need ZipRecruiter needling me to feel guilty about not having a job.
Anyhoo... I flipped it over to read my fortune, and was again not pleased with what I found:
What in the NOT-HEAVEN kind of fortune is THAT? It's no fortune at all! It's a chastisement concerning procrastination! I'm an Aquarius. I know all about procrastination. I'm a master procrastinator. A mere slip of paper is not going to goad me into completing a chore in a timely manner.
I need to ask Hick and The Pony what kind of fortunes they got. Maybe The Pony had one telling him to stay on his feet. And Hick was reminded to stop feeling entitled to eating other people's food just because it's under his roof.
The fortune cookie itself looked perfectly normal. I guess you'd have to spot the logo on the little packages, or see that teal color peeping out at you in order to be forewarned of a crappy, nagging "fortune."
Do you know the easiest way to open a fortune cookie? You just squeeze the two ends together, and it snaps apart, giving you two halves. I tell you this, not to feel all high-horse-y teacher-y superior, but in case, like that whole ENGLAND IS AN ISLAND issue, you might not have learned this yet. We were so lucky that The Pony showed us that when he was about 10 years old.
You're welcome.
Nothing like being betrayed by a fortune cookie. You know that means you either have no future, or one that really sucks. Or, just ignore the whole thing, and eat the cookie without the fortune? I don't know, I just don't know.
ReplyDeleteOh, I ate the cookie! I told The Pony about my fortune, whispering, so Hick didn't hear it and chime in on things I need to do.
DeleteThanks for the opening instructions. I learn something new every day.
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome, courtesy of The Pony. I can't believe all the efforts I wasted cracking open those cookies before learning the proper technique!
DeleteSame thing happened to me when I popped my fortune cookie open last week. I saw the green paper first and wondered what was going on. I want my fortune to be mystical, too.
ReplyDeleteIt takes all the fun (but none of the taste) out of the fortune cookie!
DeleteFortune cookies around here stopped real fortunes years ago, and I miss them. They must be afraid of getting sued for bad fortunes that come true.
ReplyDeleteI love Chinese food, but it make me blow up like a tick for several days.
Um, thanks for that image... Must be the sodium in the sauces. Your future fortune might say, "You are about to blow up like a tick."
DeleteMy kids opened fortune cookies by hitting them with their knife handles. Bits of cookie would fly everywhere, but they didn't care, they never ate them anyway, just wanted the fortunes.
ReplyDeleteI am imagining the sharp, sweet shrapnel flying around the room! I used to take the fortune, and give Hick and the boys the cookie. Now I eat it myself! I guess it's an old-people treat.
Delete