The Pony's tailbone is not even recovered from his rumpus-bouncing slalom down the metal steps of the USPS loading dock, and he has already added two more falls to his workplace accident repertoire.
Friday night, The Pony did not bring his Casey's pizza to the marred coffee table to eat while sitting on the floor and dropping greasy sausage onto my carpet (which is halfway sausage-proof, having a coating of the wax he'd spilled from my scented wax thingy).
"Oh, aren't you coming in to chat with us before your bath?"
"No. I'm eating in the kitchen, standing. I don't want to sit down until I'm in the bath. I fell again today. It was in Dad's pharmacy."
"Did them girls behind the counter see you?"
"EVERYBODY saw me! I had just stepped off the rug as I came in the door. The snow was packed in the gripper things on my shoes, and I went down on the meaty part of my hip. But at least I avoided my tailbone."
"Did they say, 'Ooooh!'"
"They were, but I jumped up and said, 'This isn't even near the worst I have fallen!'"
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah. It's sore. I'll probably have a big bruise."
On Saturday, The Pony revealed that he'd fallen again.
"Was it in the pharmacy?"
"No. But they sure didn't let me forget. One of them said, 'Oh, you're not going to fall again today, are you?' They didn't have any mail to take in today, but they always have a box out. It's for UPS, and we're not supposed to take it. But you never know if it's one for us until you ask."
"So how did you fall today?"
"I was walking down a hill. I always avoid muddy or wet areas. This was on grass, but it just gave way under my foot. I let myself fall. Rather than throw out an arm to catch myself. I didn't want to break a wrist. I landed on my side hip. You can probably see the mark."
"Yeah. That's dirt and grass stain. You should let those pants soak for 30 minutes in Tide With Bleach."
"I don't use bleach."
"It's built in! You'd better LEARN to use it."
Because, you see, The Pony seems to have a bad case of BUTTERFEET. He's one of those people who can't seem to stay upright. He's a NOT-WEEBLE. He doesn't wobble, but he does fall down!