No, I am not taking a survey to see if you would rather live in Hooterville or The Twilight Zone. I am trying to figure out if I have been transported to one or the other.
Val does not lead an exciting life, despite her braggings here at the House of Unbagged Cats. A trip to town each day, for scratchers and a 44 oz Diet Coke. Shopping at the two local grocery stores each week. A gas top-off for T-Hoe. A post office visit for Genius's weekly letter and old-fashioned bill-paying. That's it. Nothing interesting until a casino trip every couple of months.
You'd think a grocery store would be a pretty uneventful place. Push a cart/walker around the building. Put items from shelf to cart. Pay and leave.
One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn't belong.
WHAT IN THE NOT-HEAVEN?
Am I shopping in Sam Drucker's General Store? Will Ike Godsey come out from behind the shelf, and offer me some of the Baldwin Sisters' "recipe?" Maybe Mr. Haney will roll up with his jalopy truck to sell me a bargain I can't find in any store. Or Granny might have some tempting vittles she's been boiling in a kettle out by the ceeeement pond.
WHY IS THIS JAR ON THE SHELF IN A GROCERY STORE CHAIN?
I'm pretty sure there's a law against something like this. If not... there oughta be! SURE that's the contents of that jar. It's a little different color than the contents of the other jars. The lid LOOKS like the seal hasn't been broken. But in looking at the lid, I think the expiration date has passed! A tight zoom appears to show that date as 11/13/20. There's a glare, so I can't be sure. AS IF that would be the only reason not to buy it!!!
Is this The Twilight Zone? Maybe there's some superhuman guy named Alfredo, who produces (if you're pickin' up what I'm layin' down) a very potent special SAUCE that's in high demand, and whether a woman can get it or not is just luck of the draw. Perhaps there's a unique responsibility that comes with the sauce of Alfredo, heh, heh.
I didn't have the guts to take that jar up front and try to buy it. I wonder if there's a barcode drawn on the back label. Or IS there a back label? I wonder what the nutritional information would show.
Is this a legitimate attempt of Country Mart to sell "OFF" label merchandise? Was somebody instructed to cut that label with square corners? Did they take handwriting samples to see who should put the name on it? Can a customer barter for a price reduction?
I'm pretty sure I wouldn't buy this jar of Alfredo Sauce if it was the last one on earth. Which it could be, if this was The Twilight Zone.