It's not exactly a Halloween episode of the Simpson's Treehouse of Terror... but it's what you get from The Pony in mid-January.
Remember how last week, The Pony had plans on Thursday evening after work, but discovered on the way that he had a flat tire? Good thing he had a little gadget that plugs in to his car, to pump in some air.
"Oh, Mom. You know how I put some air in my tire the other night before starting home? That pump thing you got me has a LIGHT on it! Unfortunately, it cast an inappropriate shadow..."
What's that I hear? The sound of some 13-year-old-selves snickering?
That theme continued when The Pony found this package to deliver a couple days later:
I didn't ask if he squeezed it to determine what was inside. That's because I don't want to know.
Also, you may recall when The Pony slipped on the steps of the loading dock, and bruised his tailbone. Here's a picture of the steps.
"Oh, that's the bent rail you couldn't get grip on when you started falling? What's that stuff on it?"
"Shipping tape. That's what's holding it together."
The Pony leads a charmed life.
Pony...sigh, Duct Tape, use Duct Tape! If Dwayne Johnson uses it, you should too.
ReplyDeleteI guess they didn't have duct tape in their inventory.
DeleteLittle known fact; duct tape can be used on almost anything, the only thing it is not good for is on heating ducts. That is irony...I think.
DeleteIt is also not very good on ducks.
Gaffer tape is stronger.
DeleteYes. Irony. Duct tape also does not hold a cracked exhaust pipe together long enough to drive outside the city limits without roaring for attention.
DeleteI don't know anything about gaffer tape. asdl; ert
Maybe it would have held my head up when I just nodded off to sleep!
Who knew delivering the mail was such a fun life. If you live through it.
ReplyDeleteOr it could make for a creative epitaph.
DeleteDid you hear my jaw dropping to the floor? Shipping tape?! out here that would have the OHS people crawling all over that facility examining every nook and cranny and shutting things down until EVERYTHING is up to standard. I notice they also need a much larger dumpster, WITH A LID. They would check the vehicles too.
ReplyDeleteI am wondering what is in that package.
Yes, but it took a while for the sound to travel across the ocean!
DeleteThe squeaky wheel gets the boot! I don't know if a whistleblower rule would save a CCA who stirs things up.
I'm afraid of what's in that package!
Shipping tape, seems that might be against OSHA rules. Ha Ha...pleasure awaits wasn't even in a BROWN wrapper.
ReplyDeleteRules are made to be ignored by federal agencies! White paper wrapper is the new brown paper wrapper.
DeleteThat step is a law suit waiting to happen. Can you sue the PO?
ReplyDeleteProbably not. When I worked for the state unemployment office, it was common knowledge that the state can't be sued. Surely the feds are even more protected.
DeleteHere at the park all the mail comes to my office, then we distribute it to the bank of boxes located outside the office for each tenant. Packages have to be picked up in the office. One day when HeWho collected the mail from the giant box we have up (well, until the snowplow clipped it last week), he came back to the office grinning like a fool and handed me a package very similar to the one pictured. I grabbed it as he thrust it toward (thrust, tee hee) me. He asked me if I could tell what it was. Of course I could! We had a good laugh and said some nasty things to each other. The best part was that it was addressed to a MAN in the park who was always quoting scripture! The package listed the contents on the outside as "Purple pleasure device". When the gentleman in question came up to the office, I said with a straight face, "Oh, wait, you have a package, as I held it out to him, as HeWho had held it out to me, so that he grabbed the very essence of the business! I never cracked a smile as he turned beet red and fled! Ok, I might miss moments such as this! I wanted to ask him if purple was his favorite color, but I knew I would lose control!!
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh! Scripture-quoting men seeking purple-pleasure-devices are people too! Not that there's anything wrong with that...
DeleteOne might be assuming that their private devices would come in a box instead of an envelope revealing the contents, as well as a description on the envelope!!
DeleteYou know what happens when one ASSUMES!
Delete