Thursday, September 3, 2020

What Kind of Psychopath Does THIS?

I'll tell you what kind! A college graduate psychopath!

Anyhoo... to start at the beginning (which you probably know by now that I hate), somebody used the last zip-lock baggie a couple weeks ago (HICK!). I discovered the empty box, and asked The Pony to hand me a new box from the large pantry if I had a spare.

The Pony said, "Oh! I have some that we moved back from my apartment. They're already open, so I'll just get them."

I went on about my business, which was tearing off some non-stick foil. I wasn't in need of a zip-lock baggie just then, but I'd bobbled the empty box while getting out my foil.

You know how you buy a box of zip-lock baggies for leftovers or sandwiches, and keep them in the lower corner cabinet by the sink that has the two-tiered lazy Susan shelves? I'm pretty sure you are like most normal people, and punch in the perforated section on the side that lets you pull out the zip-lock baggies one at a time, as needed. That perforated part can even be tucked back in on itself, in case you're worried about the baggies staying in place and not falling out.

Well. A couple days ago, I opened up the cabinet to get a zip-lock baggie to hold a slice of bread without it getting stale until I was ready for it with lunch in my lair. The sight I beheld was disturbing!

Not only was the perforation still intact on an OPEN box of zip-lock baggies...

But the manner in which the box had been opened was absolutely psychopathic!


The end flaps had been ripped all willy-nilly, leaving the box uncloseable.

THAT is how The Pony opens his box of zip-lock baggies!

If you stop by our house (keep your hands off our mail, ya filthy animal!) to put your leftover sandwich in a zip-lock baggie, make sure you hold it with the open end UP as you take it out from the lower corner cabinet with the two-tiered lazy Susan by the sink.

12 comments:

  1. This reminds me of my kids who would see where the box said "open here" flip it over to the side that said "open other end" and open THAT end. Just for kicks. I open my ziplock bag noxes at the proper perforated edge, but then tear that off completely, leaving the box open, so I can just pull out each bag without having to remove the box from where it sits upright in the front corner of the bottom drawer. It is held upright by the boxes of rolls laying flat behind it, foil, gladwrap, baking paper, which I believe you people call parchment and is used for lining cake pans.

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    1. I tore mine off completely, too. But I close that perforated part on the flap of the Bounce fabric softener sheets in the laundry room. I think it holds in the smell better.

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  2. That's hysterical! Keep your hands off our mail you filthy animal!!!

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    1. I'm still preoccupied with our recent mail thefts, and I thought of that "filthy animal" line in the fake old movie the "Home Alone" kid is watching. I think the title is "Angels With Dirty Faces," an old gangster video.

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  3. I open the box with the little place that stays shut. But, after a few times of fiddling with it, I rip it off. I hate it when people open my things wrongly. Tommy opens the bottoms of boxes and then I cannot push the little tab in the slot that is still closed on the other end. Aaaagh!

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    1. Or when they open the right end, but peel one of top flaps all the way off, so you can't push in the tab!

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  4. O think it is the right brain left brain thing, don't you?

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    1. I think it's about "My way is the right way. Anything else is just a suggestion."

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  5. Now I know why Mrs. C hides the scissors from me.

    (HICK!) is that as in NEWMAN!

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    1. I am also a scissor-hider. Just last night, I cautioned The Pony that if the special (former Christmas present) orange-handled scissors beside my OPC (Old People Chair) were needed to cut open a bag of candy, I WOULD BE THE ONE TO USE THEM! In other words, he should keep his hooves off them!

      Yes, Hick is a NEWMAN! But don't consult him about who a bicycle really belongs to, because he will take it and sell it at his Storage Unit Store.

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  6. Your story reminds me of the Christmas one-year old Grandson came to visit with his parents. Over the course of the week every box of zip lock bags was demolished, and bags scattered all over. When they left I taped the boxes back together as best as I could and tried to stuff the bags back in, but they were never the same.

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    1. I didn't even try to fix this box. Maybe I should. Last night, I chased it to the back of the lower corner cabinet by the sink, trying to get a bag out of the end!

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