Friday, September 18, 2020

The Schemer Asks Val To Provide a Schematic

As if Hick eating my hour-and-forty-minute supper in six minutes were not enough of a red flag waved in front of ready-to-charge Val... he dared to pass off a personal request after sating himself with the fruits of my labor.

"If I email you a picture of a schematic, can you print it for me?"

"Where did you get it?"

"Off my phone."

"I KNOW that! Where did it come from?"

"Off the internet."

"I know that."

"Well I don't know how much more you want me to say. Can you print it?"

"Last time I printed one, you said it was too small. I can't blow it up."

"Well I can blow it up on my phone. But it's hard to hold my phone while I'm working over in the BARn. Can't you print a whole page? Doesn't it fill the page?"

"Maybe, depends on the size of it. When do you need it?"

"Not soon. Just by tomorrow."

"It's already 7:40 p.m.!"

Hick had no response to that. So I tried. Dowloaded his picture of the schematic showing 38 parts of a shotgun, numbered in the order to take them apart, maybe? Or put back together? I don't read schematics.

The top half was in big bold print: Harrington and Richardson Shotguns. It had a model number. The schematic was the bottom half of the page. I opened it in PAINT, and cropped just the parts, mainly.

I tried to print, but my printer was dead. Oh, it had the green flashing light. But it made no noise like it was limbering up for a print job. It has been doing this since I replaced the ink cartridge. I went into TROUBLESHOOTING, but it just showed the job was pending. Not failed, or whatever that message is.

I looked over my printer. Pushed the OKAY button. The green light went from flashing to solid. No sound of printing. I went back to the DEVICES and the TROUBLESHOOTING. Wait a minute! The job was trying to print to the WORKSHOP PRINTER. The color printer that Genius brought home and gave to me. I switched to my LaserJet, and it worked!
I got a good copy, but with a logo in the background that barely showed on my computer monitor. I lightened the quality to DRAFT, which lightened the background logo, but also the numbered parts 1-38. Hick DID send me a text the next day, saying that it came out good. So he can rebuild his gun and make a tidy profit. 

All for free, I might add. No profit for Val. Used up some of my new recycled ink, too!


  1. Damn, I can't even put together an Ikea chair...luckily Mrs. C likes that stuff, she would love figuring out the shotgun.

    1. Maybe Hick should send the shotgun to Mrs. C for a consult. He's taken it apart (and put it back together) three times, and it still has a malfunction. I think it's the firing pin. It strikes the shell, but won't fire it. He thinks maybe the firing pin is faulty. Maybe too short? I don't know, I zoned out.

      Hick even took it to This Guy who sold us the $5000 house, so he could take a look at it. I think he's looking for a third opinion. Probably shouldn't sent it through the mail to Mrs. C, though.

  2. Now that is true collaboration. Don't spoil him.

    1. Hick is definitely spoiled. I'm shocked that he hasn't asked me to track down the leading shotgun-putting-together specialist, and make all-expenses-paid arrangements for him to make a house call.

  3. Rebuilding the gun is why the parts are numbered on the schematic, so you can check them off and be sure you have the whole gun not just random parts that won't work.

    1. ? Hick has put it together 3 times, with all the parts, and tried to shoot it. All parts are there, in the right place, connected and moving as they should. Everything works except the shell won't fire. His next attempt will be trying a different shell.

  4. Replies
    1. I don't know. I heard him come in from the auction, but I think he might be getting his beauty sleep right now. I'll ask him tomorrow.