With the lifting of our Stay-At-Home-Down, Hick has been having booming business at his Storage Unit Store. He sat in the La-Z-Boy Sunday night, riffling a stack of cash at me and The Pony. Still miffed at the lost opportunity that time day, to discuss Hick's most recently wrong-done things, I made an attempt to snatch that cash stack out of his hand. Who knew Hick had such youthful reflexes, even with his Pop-Arm?
Anyhoo...Hick began droning about items he'd sold, mostly metal things that propel other metal things at a lickety-split rate when stimulated.
"Whoa! I don't care. All I hear is 'blah blah blah cash blah blah blah cash blah blah blah,' so you might as well just skip all the specifics, and tell how much you took in, and how much was profit."
"Oh, you remember that money bag your best old ex-teaching buddy Mabel gave me? The black one with the red-and-white striped lining? That looked like a lady's make-up bag? I've been keeping my gun receipts in it. I usually leave it in the refrigerator. The cabinet that I can lock. But it wasn't locked. Anyway, Saturday I found it laying UNDER the cabinet. So I picked it up and put it back. But then today, after everyone left and I was putting stuff back, I couldn't find it! It wasn't inside where it should have been, and it wasn't laying under like before. I finally found it, though, stuffed down in a crack. Somebody's been messing with it!"
"Well, you should know better. With important stuff like that, you need to lock it up! Or keep it in your truck."
"Them dang people get into EVERYTHING!"
"Yeah. You should know better! You can't leave it unlocked. It's like trying to hide Christmas presents from kids. They'll FIND IT, wherever it is, if it's not locked up."
"It's locked up now."
"You need to walk in there and see what people are doing."
"I did follow one kid in there today. I didn't trust him. And that one guy I suspect took my gun hasn't been back. Not since I put on my Facebook that I was pretty sure I knew who took it. That should tell you right there he's guilty!"
"Well, you should watch people closer, or not complain if they take something."
"Yeah, I know. You can't trust anyone these days."
Ain't THAT the truth!
'blah blah blah cash blah blah blah cash blah blah blah, is a great sound!
ReplyDeleteWait a minute...how much did he take in and how much was profit?
I will have to get the details. He was gone all day, good-deeding, and went to bed at 9:30 before I had a chance to ask.
DeleteYeah, that's what I wanna know.
ReplyDeleteObtaining that information will be easy as pie. Easier than getting a piece of my own cheesecake! Hick will love having the opportunity to discuss it again.
DeleteI'll put it here in the comments when I find out.
Hick might be better off bring stuff like that home and locking it away, things like gun receipts etc are important, especially if there is a need for police to search through them to see who paid for his gun and who stole one.
ReplyDeleteI think he could keep it in his truck, where it's available if he needs it at the Storage Unit Store. Sometimes somebody wants to return one, or trade it for a different one, once they take it home and try it.
DeleteHick also has records on his phone. He takes a picture of the purchaser's driver's license. His best customers lately are police officers. They like their guns!
Hick says that he took in $1,640.00 on Sunday, of which $160.00 was profit. Which only speaks to my belief that he has too much money tied up in his "inventory."
ReplyDeleteThen again, I very rarely profit $160.00 in one day on my scratchers...
I think you need to see his books.
ReplyDeleteHick's books are in his head! He seems to remember what he paid for everything! If he was making it up, surely he would say he was making more of a profit. OH WAIT!
DeleteThere's really no benefit for Hick to fabricate the profit. I don't touch his Storage Unit Store stash, and he keeps his mitts off my scratcher fortune. His money is in the same safe as my former big scratcher winners and casino bankroll. If I doubt the total he says he has on hand, I know where to count it. You know, in case I WANT to touch it.
Hick sounds like a supervisor I once worked for who ran three checkbooks at one time, and never recorded anything, because she said it was all in her head. Uh HUH!
ReplyDeleteI'm amazed at what's in Hick's head! But he's not allowed to touch the checkbook.
DeleteHeWho would just make up the numbers if I asked for an accounting of his spending. On the other hand, I never tell him when I decide to lower the level of cash in the drawer and where I put (hid) it.
ReplyDeleteI keep a stash of cash in the safe, for unforeseen expenses. Like a load of gravel for the road, or flat lawnmower tires, a dead battery on the Gator, tractor parts, or the semi-annual breakdown of our heating and cooling system. Mostly expenses that can be traced to Hick.
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