Friday, May 29, 2020

A Hick and a Val Walk Into a Sprint Store

But not without a mask!

Hick penciled me into his busy schedule for Thursday morning. Sheesh! You'd think I'd asked him to trim my toenails with his teeth, scrub the floor of a Port-A-Potty with his toothbrush, and enter a Rocky Mountain Oyster-eating contest! Funny how Hick is quick to jump to the aid of casual acquaintances and long-lost friends, but when it comes to Val, he's not so keen on giving her three hours of his time.

Anyhoo... the Sprint store that will allow me to buy a phone without leasing has re-opened. I checked their inventory the night before, and saw that they had the LG Stylo 5 that Hick has been using for months now. So I know it works, and he can give me tips on how it works. I made an appointment for 11:00 a.m. I tucked my new used iPhone 8 into its coffin box, and off we went on our 45-minute journey.

Hick was disgruntled, and treated T-Hoe roughly. Had Hick been a cowboy, and T-Hoe a horse, Hick would have been tossed on his ear, and needed a clown to rescue him. Hick also made a wrong turn after saying he knew exactly where this store was, since he'd bought his own phone there. We arrived with 8 minutes to spare.

Of course upon walking to the door, we saw a sign that said, "Use Other Door." And on THAT door, a sign that said, "Nobody Admitted Without a Mask." Hick has a surplus of them, from transporting his friend to her cancer treatments. I had mine from my recent doctor's nurse practitioner's appointment. While we were masking up, another customer dared invade our space while he strapped on his own mask.

Waiting inside were two young men who acted like bouncers, ready to throw us out for noncompliance. They were wearing their own masks, and the minute we walked in, they rushed to their hand sanitizer pump as if we were infecteds emanating waves of cooties.

The encroacher behind us was actually in the wrong business, heh, heh. I guess he wanted the nail salon next door. Off he went, still masked.

I stated right away that I was there to pay off my iPhone 8, trade it in, and buy an LG Stylo 5. Bouncer 1 looked at Bouncer 2, and they bantered about its availability. Even quizzed ME about whether I had seen that listed in stock for their specific store. Which of course I had, I'm not an idiot, I know there are two stores in that city, and only ONE of them sells outright with no lease.

Bouncer 2 went off to the back of the store, and returned saying there were none. I said they needed to change their website and stop luring people in for a bait-and-switch. Then they switched me to a Samsung Galaxy A51. Yes, it was more than I'd planned to spend. But I WAS getting back the difference by trading in my iPhone 8. And it would be over and done.

Can you believe how inquisitive they were about why I wanted to get rid of my iPhone 8 after only six weeks? Hick had forbade me to tell them of its problems. "Just tell them you're not an iPhone person." So I did. And Hick blurted out, "It shuts off all the time, and she cain't text or take pictures with it!" Anyhoo... they said it sounded like a software problem. Made me no nevermind! I was chucking that lemon and getting a NEW SAMSUNG GALAXY A51.

It's not a high-end fancy phone. I still would have been happy with the LG Stylo 5, WHICH those Bouncers said they used to have a bunch of, because a lot of people came in asking for them, but then they boxed them all up and sent them back, because SOON, the LG Stylo 6 is coming out!

That seemed pretty stupid to me, to get rid of them if so many people were asking for them. No doubt after seeing them on the store website. Then again, they probably upsold all of those people a Samsung Galaxy A51, too. My first clue was that they knew just what to offer me, and that they were out of cases for them. There are few things shadier than the cell phone business, except for insurance, and used car dealers.

Anyhoo... after 30 minutes of breathing my own fetid breath in that mask, I had a new phone that actually works! I LOVE IT! I'd take a picture of it for you, but...well...I'd be using it to take the picture.

I sent Genius a text, wanting to share my good news. And do you know what he said?

"Good luck."

How rude is THAT? Of course I had more to say to that snotty young whippersnapper!

"It works! Yet I don't sense your joy in my happiness..."

"You're the one who bought a used one when I could've gotten you a new one just fine."

"Well, I will just have to be happy by myself. Like little gremlin Gizmo, while you are being Stripe on Christmas morning."

Let the record show that Genius recommended the iPhone, and was not concerned about the used one. He HAD offered to order me a new iPhone, but didn't know when he would have time to set it up, and how long it would take to mail it to me. Not to mention getting my information off my dead phone that was his hand-me-down. All of which would have left me without a phone for a week to 10 days. So it's not like Genius was being Mother Teresa for poor old Val.

Anyhoo... I LOVE MY NEW PHONE! Have I mentioned that?


  1. Well then, I am happy for you!

    1. Thank you! As Bluto said in Animal House, "Don't cost nothin'!"

      Even though you are an iPhone user, and Genius is not... at least you can understand the big picture, and VALidate my happiness. ;)

      Genius acts like I forsook the iPhone for NO REASON other than a prejudice against iPhones!

    2. Mrs. C hates everything Apple. I say she is an antiapplite.

    3. She IS! She IS an antiapplite! You couldn't have named her better with a Label Baby Junior!

  2. Your posts are like short videos that make me laugh out loud. Start snapping pictures, but be careful I did that today as I accidentally called someone??? and snapped a selfie with my eyes closed... looked drunk or insane. have fun with those functions.

    1. Nothing I do is SHORT, but thanks for that compliment!

      I've been having a heyday with my new phone! I must admit, part of the reason I sent that text to Genius was the hope he'd text me back, so I could hear the "concertina" tone I'd set for notifications.

      I already accidentally set it on something like Hey Siri, which kept saying it didn't understand me! I think I was in the middle of discussing the most recent thing Hick had done wrong.

  3. I'm glad you are happy with your new phone. that store should be deeply, deeply ashamed of its bait and switch deal. Older styles should not be packed up and sent back until the new model actually arrives in the store. Well, that's my opinion. There were no cases available when I bought my phone either, I had to get one online and wait for delivery which was faster than I expected, but now the cover is showing signs of wear, the little magnetic flap that closes it looks like it might tear off in another couple of years.

    1. I am going to order a case, because this phone has the "glass back" slippery feel. Hick asked the guy if he could do something about a problem with HIS case, that he bought at their store, where they put it on for him. Hick though he had water under the screen, but the guy said it looked like a dirt particle.

      "You need to go online to the company, and file a claim, and they should send you another case. These have a lifetime warranty."

      "You mean you cain't fix it for me here?"

      "No. You have to go online."

      Not much customer service at this store! Even the place where they sold me a non-working iPhone 8, and tried to slip in the service contract, went out of their way to transfer all my info and even install a couple apps for me.