Monday, January 9, 2023

Hear Ye, Hear Ye

Hick unfurled another proclamation on Sunday afternoon, thinking Val would accept it as fact. She didn't.

I was sitting at the kitchen table around 2:30, getting ready to close up HIPPIE and get ready for my daily trip to town. My comfy ensemble consisted of navy blue Crocs with no socks, sweatpants that are too short and have a hole worn at the left hip from the broken arm of the rolly chair down in my lair, and a gray fleece jacket zipped to the neck. My mini radiator heater was running under the table.

Hick barged in from a long day at his SUS2 (Storage Unit Store 2), taking more time to close the kitchen door than any normal person should need. He pulled the door open all the way, swung it halfway closed, then back to maximum openness, then closed it with a heavy gust of outside air. The plastic bags of inventory he had bought or traded for must have affected his equilibrium. Or else he's just clueless.

"Hey! You're freezing me to death!"

"I am not!"

"Why are you fanning all that cold air in here?"

"It ain't cold."

"It's 41 DEGREES!"

"That's not cold."

"Yes, it IS! I don't know how you think 41 isn't cold. Why don't we just set our thermostat on 41 if it's such a balmy temperature?"

No answer from Hick. He's great about declaring stuff to be the opposite of what I say, even if it means all laws of science must be suspended.

4 comments:

  1. Don't you just love it when they tell you you aren't feeling what you are feeling!

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    1. It's like they earned a Doctorate in gaslighting!

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  2. Remind him from me that 41 is most definitely cold, in fact here in Australia his 41F is our 5C and we are all rugged up like Eskimos (apologies for being unPC) are we still allowed to say Eskimos? Why are you wearing shoes without socks in that temperature?

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    1. Had to rescue this comment from SPAM!

      I am not the PC Police, so I can't give advice on using "Eskimos." Said without malice, I find it descriptive and not triggering. However, when we visited my uncle who lived in Alaska, he said they preferred to be called "natives," so it would be best that we not speak that word while out and about in Ketchikan.

      You have to realize that 2:30 p.m. is still my "morning" time, and I don't put on socks until I shower and dress for town. I can remind Hick that 41 degrees is COLD, but he will most like proclaim once again that it is NOT.

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