Wednesday, January 18, 2023

Hick Wangles an Insurance Deal

A couple days ago, I mentioned how our homeowner's insurance had increased by 40 percent since last year. Hick was not having it! He researched the current cost per square foot for home construction, and set off to have a word with our agent. More specifically, our agent's office manager. He returned home satisfied, having agreed upon a yearly premium that is LESS than last year's premium! To be exact, $103 less. The concession was that he reduced the replacement value of our policy by 11 percent. Sounds good to me!

Here's the thing. Hick said the replacement cost we were going to be charged on our insurance was over twice what it would actually cost to rebuild. Perhaps it's based on a nationwide figure, not by region. It's way cheaper to build here than in the cities. Plus Hick knows how to choose reasonable contractors.

Anyhoo... I stopped by to chat with my sister the ex-mayor's wife on Monday, and had to relate to her the conversation we had over the weekend, before Hick could talk to someone in the insurance office. Sis didn't know anything about her own homeowner's insurance, because the ex-mayor handles their bills.

"Hick's going to the insurance office to talk to them. He says the replacement value they're charging us for is over twice what it would cost to rebuild our house. In fact, his exact words were: 'We'd be better off to put a wastebasket in the safe room [which has concrete walls, a steel door, and a steel plate for the ceiling] and set it on fire when we take a three-day trip to Oklahoma! Then when we come home, the house has burned, and we collect the replacement money, rebuild the house, and pocket all that extra money!'"

Sis clapped her palms over her ears.

"Tra la la! Tra la la! Don't tell me that! I don't want to hear it, so I can honestly say on the witness stand that I knew nothing about it! Hahaha!"

"Well, of course he would never do that. But listen to this! Hick's last sentence was: 
'You'd be a FOOL not to!'"

Sis laughed until she was breathless. That got me going, hardee-har-harring, until my nose ran.

After we settled down, we questioned how the house would burn down if the fire was enclosed in concrete and steel. Like Hick said, the replacement costs were off anyway, since half our square footage is the finished basement, which has concrete walls, and concrete doesn't burn or have to be replaced.

The consensus was that Hick did not think this scheme through. But he's definitely good for a laugh.


Hick's "plot" is not to be taken literally. He was being facetious, although I'm not sure he knows the definition of that word.


  1. I know you guys well enough by now to not take that scenario literally, but understood the meaning.

    1. I'm used to Hick's outlandish scenarios, but when he said the FOOL part, it took his outlandishness to a new level!

  2. The Patient is good for a laugh, too. While I was changing his bandage that covers the hole in his abdomen, he was wondering aloud how bad it was going to be when they emove the tube and did he have to be in the hospital for a couple of days. When I finished laughing I told him they would most likely just pull it out in the office. And , no, you won't need to be sedated!

    1. (!) Good thing he didn't have a baby. He might expect to be laid up in the hospital for a month!