Friday, January 20, 2023

Be My Guest

Welp! There was a big prison break this week over in Bill-Paying Town! At first I thought I read that it was the prison, but Hick said it was the county jail. I haven't really been following the story, because something new always comes up to contradict what I thought I heard originally. At first I thought it was the medium security prison. Then the mental hospital next door to it. And now the county jail.

Anyhoo... five guys got out. I was chuckling inside, because there was such a torrential downpour that night, with temps in the upper 30s, that I figured those ne'er-do-wells would be wishing they were back inside their warm dry cells. THEN I heard that they stole a car. A small car. So I was imagining five full-size men in a compact car. 

I still don't know what happened exactly, or if any have been apprehended. Hick sent me a text on Wednesday morning saying to be sure and keep the doors locked. I did. But it's not like they'd come out to the middle of nowhere. I'm sure they were long gone down the highway by then.

We live about five minutes from a maximum security prison where executions are carried out. It was built AFTER we built our mansion. In the beginning, Hick said maybe we should just leave the keys in our vehicles. You know, so any escapees would just take the car and go, and not try to come in the house.

That's classic advice from Hick, who says you'd be a FOOL not to burn your own house down and pocket the 50 percent of the replacement insurance that you won't need to rebuild, and who also advised me that next time I bake bratwursts in the oven, I should raise the temperature from 350 degrees to 650!


  1. I take it Hick doesn't use an oven very often! 650, indeed! Leaving the keys in the car might make the escapees eager to meet you to see what else you might want to give them!

    1. I don't think Hick has ever used the oven! He's a microwave man.

      I think escapees would rejoice at their good luck of finding keys in a vehicle, and hit the road, rather than taking more time that would allow their incompetent captors to track them down.

  2. Well I hope they get caught and locked up again in a more secure manner this time. There's enough idiots on the roads already without escapees adding to the traffic. You of course are NOT one of the idiots.

    1. They have all been caught! I just read it today. One down south near the bootheel, and four in OHIO! Supposedly the one was in a bar, drinking a glass of water, and acting suspicious. I guess more suspicious than drinking a glass of water in a bar! The other four were still in the car they stole, and committed a traffic violation (so uncharacteristic of these upstanding citizens!) and were stopped by police. Then they all ran while the driver was being questioned.

      The fact that you felt the need to point out that I was NOT an idiot makes me feel like a suspect!