Friday, April 9, 2021

Stupe! They Did It Again!

When will he EVER learn? 

Yes. I said that in a sing-songy mocking voice. (Somebody who reads here knows such a voice well.) I learned this voice from my second-best old teaching buddy Karen. She was part of our Gang of Three ne'er-do-well faculty in Cuba, MO. We had weekly rotating poker games, and she was ALWAYS saying that to ME! Except she sing-songily said, "When will she EVER learn?" right before scooping up the pot of Rold Gold Pretzel Sticks as she won yet another hand from me. The thin pretzel sticks. Not the fat pretzel rods. We used them as fake cigars. Well. I did. The Mocker and our other cohort were smokers, puffing on cigarettes like there was no tomorrow.

Anyhoo... we're not here to reminisce about Val's misspent early teaching days. We're here to call Hick stupid for trusting people. Again.


Yes. I can tell you're all shocked. NOT. I think I detect a little tsk-tsk-ing. And somebody wanting to put a hand on Hick's shoulder, walk him out of earshot of his cronies, and say, "Look here, old chum. You need to keep your valuables locked up! The world is full of nogoodnicks who will take advantage of you."

At least is wasn't anything VERY valuable. THIS time. And Hick has his surveillance cameras. But you have to hear the story from the gift-horse's mouth.

"Dang it! I had another thief! This time they took my knives! I had a lady come ask me if I had knife sets. I told her I did, that there was one laid out, and she said, 'It's not all there.' So we went back to look and somebody had taken out three knives!"

That was on Saturday. Hick has been fretting over it for a few days. He has a plan. More on that another day. But don't you worry about Hick's pocketbook! He won't take a loss on this heinous act. Thursday, Hick said,

"I give $12 for them knives. Today I sold the black one for $5. I can get $10 for the big one. So I'm not out any money. I'll actually make a few dollars. I had the set listed for $20, but I'll get back more than I paid, anyway.

I think it happened between 8:00 and noon on Saturday. I looked at my recording, and there seems to be all the knives there at 8:00, but I don't see them all at noon. It's hard to tell. I can watch and see who was there, but it takes 10 MINUTES TO WATCH 30 MINUTES OF RECORDING!"

Seriously? Does Hick think there's a search bar to put TIME SOMEBODY STOLE SOMETHING? What else does he have to do? Surely he can spent 80 minutes reviewing his surveillance footage. IF he wants to find out who the knife thief is.

More on Hick's proposed solution on another day.


  1. Maybe Hick knows or doesn't WANT to know the ne'er do wells hanging around his place. He does know how to make a buck, though.

    1. I don't know what he'd do if he finds out who took his knives. It's not like he would have a picture to post on the wall. I guess he could follow that person around inside.

      Hick is insulted that he got taken advantage of, but it would be 100x worse if he LOST MONEY on it!

  2. It would take a lot of penny finds to cover that knife loss.

    I used to watch a Knife Show on TV late at knight where they sold like 200 knives, all fancy and stuff, for $1.75 which they said you could then resell for about $12 a knife. I always wanted to buy them except I have no use for knives and don't have a store to sell them...still seemed too good to pass up.

    1. Hick better not start picking up pennies! That's MY territory!

      Good thing Hick doesn't stay up late! He'd have to build a new themed shed for his knife shipment.

  3. I would definitely be watching the surveillance tapes! You know what Hick needs? One or two of those lockable glass display cases, where he keeps the keys in his pockets and has to unlock the case if someone wants a closer look at something, then Hick has to stay right there to be sure the something goes back into the case if the prospective buyer says no thanks.

    1. Yeah, I don't know why Hick went to the trouble to install his surveillance cameras if he didn't plan on watching the recordings! Shh... Hick's proposed solution will be revealed tomorrow.

    2. By "tomorrow," I mean on Sunday, April 11.