Thursday, April 9, 2020

I Carried the Corpse in My Purse

Farewell, LG Nexus 7. I hardly knew (how to operate) ye. Our five or six years together are surely memorable. I think. With our photos lost, I can't be certain.

I tried to revive Nexy all through the night. Hooked him up to a lifeline on the kitchen counter. When I went to bed around 4:00 a.m., I saw no signs of life. I pulled the plug.

When I got up at 9:30, I gave Nexy one more try, suggested by Dr. Google. To plug in, and immediately press the START and VOLUME DOWN buttons. Hallelujah! I got some red writing on the screen! I volumed-down to the BOOT LOAD selection. Got a START arrow. Pressed the START button. Got a lime green robot, lying on his back, with his belly flapped open. Then the four colorful Google circle thingies spinning. Oh, I had hope alright!

Sadly, removing the power and immediately reconnecting, per Dr. Google, all I could get after an hour was the big white battery. When we arrived in Bill-Paying Town at the Sprint store, Nexy's possibly last-gasping corpse in my purse, he appeared deader than a doornail. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

NOBODY was in the Sprint store. Just me and Hick and a dog named Boo--no it wasn't! Me and Hick and a young man who had to boot up his computer, having been open for 45 minutes already, but unprepared for business.

I told him immediately what I wanted. An iPhone 8. Genius's recommendation, at a cost of $450. A simple little phone for Val. No bells and whistles needed.

Young NotBoot said he didn't have any.

WHAT IN THE NOT-HEAVEN?

"My son looked it up last night, through our Sprint account, for your store. It showed AVAILABLE. I looked it up myself, on your website. It showed AVAILABLE. If you don't have one, we'll go somewhere else."

I took back my 99%-departed Nexy. My last billing statement. Turned on my heel. Had Hick call Genius, to see if he thought the Samsung Galaxy A50 android for $350 would be acceptable. He said it was up to me. Along with a few choice words concerning NotBoot. While I was way over at the door talking to Genius (that place was the size of half a tennis court), Hick hollered,

"They found one!"

Well. How conveeeeeeenient! NotBoot had consulted a Go-Getter Gal in the back room, and she found an iPhone 8. Though it was refurbished, or whatever they call their trade-ins. I asked Genius if that would be acceptable. He said it would, as long as it wasn't "all crappy with scratches." It was not.

Wanting to get it over with, and not order online and not know how to work anything when I took it out of the box, I brandished the body of Nexy again, to see if maybe they could extract his entrails for transplant into the iPhone 8. More on that attempt tomorrow.

The price of the used iPhone 8 was $240. Reasonable enough. Of course NotBoot reiterated that he could not sell me the phone outright, that I would have to lease it. The nearest Sprint store that could sell us a phone (where Hick got his last phone) is near the city, and CLOSED right now. So I agreed to the lease for 18 months at $10 a month, with the last $60 due after that. NotBoot assured me that I COULD pay off my lease early, online. He actually said I could do it on my phone (!!!!!), but obviously my reputation had not preceded me.

Anyhoo...NotBoot did some fast-talking, and said he was putting it on my bill blah blah blah, and that would be $15 per month. REEEEE! Hick and I cut eyes.

"Wait! What did you say you were putting on there?"

"You phone, and the protection plan--"

"No. I don't need a protection plan. Take that off! You said $10 a month, and that's what I'm paying. I barely use a phone. If I break it, I'll buy another one."

"Well, you'll have to still pay off the lease on the broken one before you can get another phone."

"Not a problem. I wanted to buy it outright to begin with! No protection plan."

Man! You gotta watch those "young a$$holes," as Hick refers to them.

Once the fingertip signature circus was over, Go-Getter Gal began ministering to Nexy. If she'd held a mirror to his virtual lips, I would not have wagered a weekend penny that Nexy could have fogged it up. That will be tomorrow's tale, along with Genius's Val and iPhone Boot Camp.

I know this isn't the most exciting of cliffhangers. But then again, what else do you have to do? You're a literal captive audience!

12 comments:

  1. $90 to protect a $240 phone which if it crapped out they would obviously prorate the value to way less than $240. How could you pass that up?

    Good luck on saving your pictures. I always thought that usually they can save from the sim card...what ever that is.

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    1. He was a fast-talker! Good thing I'm a suspicious old Val. Genius is not sure if Nexy has a SIM card. There is no evidence of one on the outside. He's hermetically sealed.

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  2. Captive is right, I am drooling for more info please....

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    1. Oh my gosh! You're going to be so disappointed. Dehydrated by drooling, for nothing!

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  3. I begged husband to take me on a drive, didn't matter where, since we weren't going to stop.
    I understand your pain. Looking forward to next episode.

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    1. I have not yet reached the point where I would beg Hick to take me for a drive! I mean for a "sweave."

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  4. I hope they can retrieve your photos. I kind of think your two phones kissed and you were able to retrieve the data from the near dead one. Notboots, your phone.

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    1. I don't think an iPhone is allowed to kiss an LG. Especially a deeply comatose or dead one!

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  5. Yeah, they'll get everything into your new iPhone (gag me with a spoon). Sorry, I'm not a fan of Apple products.

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    1. I've never been a fan. They can get everything into an iPhone because info from a previous iPhone is floating out there in the cloud, waiting to be grabbed. SOME of my pictures from my android were held captive by Google, and did appear on my new used iPhone.

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  6. A used phone and they still required you lease it?? That's ridiculous. I had a similar runaround with a youngster when buying my K's chest freezer. She'd been online and found the model, the size and the price she could afford. Youngster went out the back and said they didn't have one. I said I'd take the floor model. Oh no, we can't sell that, then the boss has to order in a new one and he doesn't like doing that. I said that was stupid of him, he should be happy to make a sale. I looked at other models in the same size/price range and chose one. Also unavailable. I got the idea I was getting pushed towards a bigger more expensive freezer, so told youngster to go and ask his boss if I could please purchase the floor model of K's original choice, as that size was the only one that would fit. He checked his computer screen for stock, had another look out the back, and glory-be! there was one available after all. Then he wanted to add on the extra insurance which I declined as being useless and we agreed it could be delivered the next day, which meant I had to be there as K could not get time off work. And now I'm wondering why I don't write these stories on my own blog...

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    1. Just like a car salesman, trying to get every cent out of you! Saying it can't be done, until you insist on going up the chain. It's amazing what concessions can be made by management when you're ready to walk, without a purchase.

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