Sunday, April 19, 2020

GroceryPalooza

Such a sad state of affairs, when I have to use a weekly grocery shopping trip as the most interesting thing to blog about. You can bet that I'm going to dissect it seven ways to Sunday, like my college Human Anatomy and Physiology class half-monkey, to get every benefit I can from it!

Oh, for the days of casinos and 9-hour sweaving trips with Hick!

Anyhoo...I was startled to see a sign at Country Mart on Tuesday. ONE HOUSEHOLD MEMBER ONLY. Right there in front of the inside cart corral. On a stand. In bold. Next to the free-for-customers hand sanitizer and Chlorox wipes station. Not that it mattered. I guess other people missed that sign while getting their carts...

Parents seem to be frazzled! One lady stepped up to the purple tape line at the Some Items or Less Line. They're kind of lax about items at Country Mart. This checkout has no conveyor, but if it has less of a line, everybody goes there anyway. Nobody is ever turned away.

Anyhoo...this lady had a couple items in her hand. She was either having the shakes from some kind of withdrawal, or she was at her wit's end with her son. Had to tell him many times, "STAY RIGHT HERE! Don't go any farther! I mean it! Get back here!" At least she tried. You know how grocery store kids always want to get right up on you. Thank goodness I wasn't in that line. My smart mouth might have asked how their households knew each other.

See what a great job teachers used to do? We were YOUR FREE BABYSITTER! Now you have to drag your own kids everywhere with you, and violate the ONE HOUSEHOLD MEMBER ONLY rule in Country Mart.

Another guy had two daughters with him. Blocked a whole aisle by parking his cart in the middle (MEN!), him standing on one side, a daughter on the other, while he sent the other little gal back to the end (where I was looking for 10-inch tortillas), to put back a bag of candy she was asking for. If other people's kids didn't annoy me so much, I would have offered to buy her the candy. Although that offer in itself could open up a whole new can of worms these days (Candy, little girl?). And she looked like she didn't really need any extra candy. But you know Val, a soft touch, always wanting to help others, like the morning she gave a dollar to the 11:00 a.m. alcoholic in the Gas Station Chicken Store to buy whiskey.

Oh, and ANOTHER lady was accompanied by the most annoying child ever to violate a shopping rule during a pandemic! I thought they'd never get away from the Golden Delicious Apples that I was picking up for Hick. That lady must have pointedly commanded that li'l gal to GET OFF THE CART about 10 times. She was standing on the end with the handle. So the lady couldn't push the cart. And Li'l Gal couldn't push the cart, because her feet were on the bottom bar. Any slight movement would tip the cart backwards.

SHEESH! The way that lady was talking to her, Li'l Gal must have been the stepdaughter. Because I don't think I could ever be so controlled with my own blood child. Not that there should be a difference, but having been a stepmom myself (and also a teacher!), I know that you kind of buffer your chastisements with virtual cotton batting and bubble wrap to temper a volatile reaction that may or may not be egged-on by youngsters trying to provoke you, testing the boundaries, as any normal child will do as a way of establishing their place.

Anyhoo...I (inwardly) whined because I couldn't go within six feet of the Golden Delicious apples, and then I found myself similarly trapped by the same argument at the bell peppers, while I was awaiting romaine lettuce.

I'm not advocating that people spank their child in the grocery store, or at all, but I UNDERSTAND. (Yes. I stole that concept from Chris Rock.) In the very least, a trip out to the car for a stern talking-to might prevent future episodes of recalcitrantness in the grocery store.

I don't have a solution for how people are supposed to shop for essential items if they have kids too young to leave in the car. If a store allows one kid, or two kids per adult, then what about a person with three kids? Or MORE!!! There is no solution.

Don't tell me about online ordering and picking up curbside! The Schnuck's over in Bill-Paying Town just recalled ALL brands of their ground beef with a SELL BY date of April 19. The curbside shoppers are OUTRAGED! The meat was spoiled. One lady bought it Thursday, took it back on Friday declaring the rottenness, and was denied even the opportunity to replace it with something else of the same value. She said she will never shop there again.

It's anarchy out there! You can go inside and smell your own meat, or take a curbside chance.

12 comments:

  1. When Mrs. C leaves the house i give her that old TV cop show warning "Be careful out there!"

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    1. There are 8 million stories in the naked city, and at least 8 thousand stories in Backroads.

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  2. I bet kids are getting really fed up with the quarantine and are more naughty than usual. I know I would be. Hell I am.

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    1. I'm sure they are, since it's like being on summer vacation without the sports and swimming. I bet they're even bored with their phones!

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  3. Gee I wonder if some parents are starting to believe that Teachers are not as much of the problem as they wanted to believe. :-) From a former Special Ed Teacher who gets to chuckle an evil little chuckle from time-to-time when I hear parents and their children communicate...well or not.

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    1. Yes, and I'm pretty sure the parents are dealing with less than 100 kids a day! I had to learn how to PERSUADE them to comply, without either of us making a scene.

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  4. What to say? I have seen it all, I swear. In our town, ANYONE without a mask cannot enter the store. And only one patient from a family was allowed when I went to urgent care. Door was locked and a PA checked my temp before she would let me come in.

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    1. Hick said those were the rules when he took his friend to the hospital for her procedure. No mask required on him, but only one person in the waiting room, and they took his temperature.

      Not many people are wearing the mask around here. I think I've only seen 3. For the most part, they keep their distance. Our county has been holding at 22 positives for over a week. 6 of them in Backroads. All are out of the hospital. 16 completely recovered, fever free.

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  5. I wouldn't have offered to buy her the candy, there might be a perfectly good reason why she isn't allowed it, that might not be finance related. Perhaps it is banned because of misbehaviour, or for dietary reasons.
    As for kids riding the front of the trolley, I saw what happens with my own two eyes when a kid a little on the heavy side climbed onto that bottom bar and the whole trolley tipped up and crushed him under it. The handle smacked his nose and there was bleeding but he was unhurt apart from that, but groceries went rolling about as well and caused quite the commotion in aisle four that day.

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    1. I guess that kid learned his lesson! At least the candy girl was the best-behaved child I saw that day.

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  6. People are on my last nerve, too. I think, like you, I'm pining for a little R&R.

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    1. I'm pining for a little slotting and casino-comped lunch! To be fair, people have always been on my last nerve. I have the most gigantic last nerve in recorded history! I'm shocked that ballads have not been written about it.

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