Yes, there's a new series here at the Hick-bashing cathouse! You'd think that after all these years, I would have just about covered everything there is to bash. But NO!
With the cross-county and state-wide Stay-At-Home-Down in effect, it has come to my attention that Hick needs a daily update. It happens while he is kicked back in his La-Z-Boy, eating the supper I've prepared for him from out freezer bounty. I preface our meetings with:
"This is the time of day when we talk about the most recent things you've done wrong."
I meant to bring this series to the forefront earlier, but my cell phone death took precedence. So at this first episode, we hop in the wayback machine and reverse to Tuesday, March 31. The Stay-At-Home-Down order was officially going into effect Thursday night, at 12:01 a.m. Hick and I had made a final trip to lay in a supply of NOT TOILET PAPER before Walmart was besieged with last-minute first-of-the-month hoarders. The main order of business was Easter candy for the boys' treat boxes. Yes. I still send my kids holiday boxes. They still have one foot in the mama's boy world, and one foot in the adulting world.
Anyhoo...when we got home, Hick carried in the regular supplies such as Diet Mountain Dew and Diet Coke and his Little Debbie Fudge Rounds (the giant ones), frozen blueberry waffles, and bake-at-home cinnamon rolls that were meant to wean him off his clandestine daily Casey's donuts. Along with bread and buns and mayo and tuna and Ritz crackers and a deli pizza. I said he could leave the candy out there, since the weather was cool, and it would be in the way inside until I was ready to fill the boxes.
Thursday, I went out to Counrty Mart for some onions and tomatoes, on my last trip to the Gas Station Chicken Store for a final 44 oz Diet Coke. As I put my groceries in the back of T-Hoe, a strong fragrance almost knocked me over when the hatch lifted.
Hick had left a large box of trash bags in there. He had mentioned at the time that Walmart was out of the regular kind we use, the big black ones with the drawstring tie. So he'd gotten the white kind with a lavender fragrance.
The boys' candy had been marinating in lavender fragrance for THREE DAYS!
When I broached this subject with Hick during our first session concerning his daily wrong-doings...he did not seem at all concerned.
I bet he changed his tune when he snuck some of the leftover chocolate candy, once I went down to my lair.
Hmmm, I KNOW chocolate goes well with red wine. Not sure about the lavender though.
ReplyDeleteI love chocolate, can't judge the red wine. I am NOT a lavender fan. It smells like old ladies!
DeleteWe dress them ourselves so we can pick them out in a crowd . . . MEN!
ReplyDeleteHick makes HIMSELF pickoutable in a crowd. If only he had let me dress him for Genius's college graduation pictures!
Deletehttps://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/2017/12/a-day-i-wished-hick-would-literally.html
An acquired taste, lavender and chocolate (is it dark chocolate?)
ReplyDeleteI think we will have to make a star chart, like the ones 2nd graders have.
Not dark chocolate, because the boys don't like it. I even have to pick out the dark chocolate Dove squares when I buy a mixed package. A hardship, I know...but SOMEBODY has to eat the dark chocolate!
DeleteHick would probably buy his own stars at the auction or Goodwill, and add them to his chart without earning them.
If the candy is in sealed packaging there's nothing to worry about, and if it isn't then you should have made sure it got brought inside even if there is no room for it, you could maybe at least store it in another room temporarily. on the other hand, I HATE scented garbage bags. They're okay when you first put a clean bag in the bin, but once you add potentially smelly garbage and the scents mingle it's just yuk!
ReplyDeleteI have had foods in sealed packaging that still pick up a scent. Like if it gets put in a Walmart bag with soap or laundry detergent. Their odor gets OUT of their package, and foods can let that odor INTO their package.
DeleteI don't want a scented trash bag! Now I'll have to smell it until that box is gone, right there under the cabinet by my kitchen sink. I haven't taken Hick shopping with me for tens of years! Now I know to inspect his cart before letting him check out.
wishing you all the best friend
ReplyDeletestay well and healthy !
Thank you so much! I wish the same for you.
Delete