This afternoon, he stopped by the house to stow away his prescriptions, on the way back to town to sell a lady his collection of DVD movies found in storage units. As he passed through the kitchen, me having already carried in groceries and made supper for later and at that very moment elbow-deep in dishwater...Hick saw the plastic Walmart bags that I'd set aside for his Storage Unit Store. I was planning to walk around the counter and put them in a bag that I fill for him, once I was done with the dishes.
"You know that thing you have hanging in the laundry room? The tube that holds the Walmart sacks? I need one of those for my Storage Unit Store. It would be easier than getting a bag out of that sack of bags."
Yeah. Because such a task is SO VERY TIRING, I suppose, reaching into a bag to grab another bag. Bags that have been carried into the house, emptied of their contents, and stowed away in another such bag for Hick to pick up at his leisure and drive to his Storage Unit Store.
"Well...I don't know where you'll find one of those. Maybe at a flea market? Or a church bazaar? Or Goodwill?"
"Where did you get yours?"
"I'm pretty sure my mom gave it to me. I don't know if she made it, or got it at one of her church sales. I've had it a long time."
"Well, if you can't find me one, I'll just take that one."
"NO. You won't."
"Why? You don't use it anymore."
"I don't know why you'd say THAT. Why wouldn't I use it anymore? Have Walmart and Save A Lot and Country Mart stopped putting merchandise in plastic bags? Have I stopped shopping?"
"No. But you give those bags to me."
"Until you have a pile of them, and then I put them in my tubey thing. Besides, when I NEED a plastic bag, I go get it out of my tubey thing. My chores haven't stopped, just because you have a Storage Unit Store."
"Oh. Well. Okay. But I need one."
"You're not getting mine. My mom gave it to me. I'm still using it."
SHEESH! Hick's like the locust or army ant of Storage Unit Store proprietors. Nothing is safe when he passes through.
But, he's the man. Isn't everything his?
ReplyDeleteYou both wish!
DeleteMrs. C has one of those tubey things, but not nearly as big.
ReplyDeleteWell, I don't mean to brag, but my tubey thing IS breathtaking!
DeleteAnd it's spectacular!
DeleteI'm relieved that it wasn't showing in the Christmas cards I sent out to everybody.
DeleteStitch a dish towel on the long end. Or let him staple, hot glue or duct tape the seam of one. LOL one.
ReplyDeleteI like that staple/glue idea. Give a man a tubey thing, and he has bags until it breaks. Teach a man how to make his own tubey thing, and he has bags for life.
DeleteI used to have two of those, I bought one and that same week I got one in the mail from my mum. She'd turned a teatowel into one by sewing the long sides together then putting elastic through hems at the top and bottom, and adding a hanging loop at one end. I don't have them anymore, but I'm sure someone handy with a sewing machine could make one in a jiffy for Hick.
ReplyDeleteSomeone handy with a sewing machine certainly isn't me! But everyone knew that already...
DeleteWhat's the problem with putting he bags into another plastic bag? That's what I do!!
ReplyDeleteMy question exactly, for Hick! He says it's "tooooo much trouble" to reach down into a bag on the floor at the back of his store and extract a plastic bag. Huh. Solution: bring that bag up front and hang it on a nail. VOILA! It will work just like a tubey thing, only a fat one, like a snake that just swallowed a rat.
DeleteI use Walmart bags for the dog park. I have a couple of those plastic bag holders from Ikea, but I wanted the bags to stay dry. I used an Oxyclean container. I cut a hole in the bottom to pull the bags out, leaving the lid intact to keep them dry and making it easy to fill. I use the handles of the bag to loop the bottom of the bag through, so that when you pull the first bag out it will pull the bottom of the next bag through the hole. Works great. Nice dry bags to pick up your dog poop. A lot of trouble, you say? recycling is FREE! and I am CHEAP!
ReplyDeleteWe are not talented enough to arrange our bags like that. As you see, Hick is not talented enough to reach into an open bag and pull out another bag!
Delete