Saturday, October 20, 2018

The Rapid DesCENT of Val's Future Pennyillionaire Profits

Seems like only last week, I was raking in 5 pennies without even trying. Now I have fallen on hard times. One single solitary cent placed itself in my path this week, thus preventing the shut-out. And not until FRIDAY, October 19th, in Casey's.


Face down, of course. A 2015. I didn't know that until I got it home under my magnifying glass. Huh. That's the year my mom died. And I heard that song on the radio on the way home. "Holes in the Floor of Heaven." The one that always makes me think of her.


A man held the door open for me to enter. Unlike that OTHER Casey's where the kid pulled the door closed behind him, like it would keep me out. He must have been talking to the Irate Donut Man, who also accosted me at that same store.

Anyhoo...I thanked the door-holder, an elderly man perhaps younger than myself. I stepped aside politely, so he could do his business ahead of me, while I browsed the scratcher case. HELLO, PENNY! That's when I found it. As I was taking my picture before the harvest, another man with a cup of coffee got in line. So I mosied back behind him, understanding the concept of A LINE.

A new checker came on, and said she could help someone, but nobody moved! I gestured to my door-holder, and the coffee man, and said they were ahead of me. Coffee Man said, "What? I don't have my hearing aids in." So I pointed him to the new checker.

The world of the elderly is so much more polite. Except that Irate Donut Man.
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NOOO! One Stop-the Presses comrade has been left behind!

About an hour ago, in the very same Casey's, I saw a penny on the floor, just under the gum rack at the register closest to the door. I got in line, smug with self-satisfaction, knowing that penny was soon to be resting in my shirt pocket, on the way to join his brethren in the Val's Future Pennyillionaire Fortune goblet on my kitchen counter.

Dang the customer service at this convenience store! One of the newer girls opened the second register, and said she would help me. I didn't want her help! I wanted to wait behind that one old man and get my penny! But I'm a conformer. I stepped over and handed her my three winning scratchers that I was trading in.

New Gal was SO SLOW. After scanning each ticket, she announced my winnings. NOBODY does that! Not in any of the convenience stores I frequent. First of all, the amount comes up on the lottery monitor screen thingy, showing the amount of winnings. Secondly, they know some people don't want their winnings announced to people in line behind them. But no. New Gal acted like she was announcing a grand MegaMillions win. She said, "That's five dollars. This one won five dollars. That's a five-dollar winner."

I was tapping my foot in frustration. I figured if she'd just get on with it, I could get my picture and my penny, once that old man finished up. I told her my new selections. She repeated them. Then asked, "Just one of each?" YES!!! Hurry it up, girly! Who buys more that one ticket off a roll at the same time? Well. Many people, actually. But not VAL! That's just settling for a loser right there, while trying to buy enough that you come upon a winner.

SHEESH! New Gal laid them down one at a time by the register, going back to the case after the next one. A manager slowed her even further, to remind her that she hadn't cleaned the bathroom or dumped the trash yet. Just as she was ringing it up, so she could tell me NO CHARGE, because I bought the amount I cashed in...a new customer stepped up to the vacated first register, with his pointy-toed cowboy boot on my rightful penny!

I gave up. There's approaching the edge of looking like a weirdo, and then there's jumping over it and plummeting into the abyss while screaming IMAWEIRDOOOOO!

Even Steven must have set aside that penny for someone who needs it more than me.
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For 2018: Penny  # 111.
For 2018: Dimes still at  # 14.
For 2018: Nickels still at # 4.
For 2018: Quarter still at #1.


Since 2017 (the beginning), this was Penny # 189.
Since 2017 (the beginning), this is still Dime # 20.
Since 2017 (the beginning), this is still Nickel # 4.
Since 2017 (the beginning), this is still Quarter #1.
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12 comments:

  1. OMG!! It may now take you 500 (instead of 200 or 300) years to reach pennyillionaire status!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just like you can't win the $1.6 billion MegaMillions jackpot if you don't buy a ticket...you can't become a Pennyillionaire if you don't pick up a penny!

      Delete
  2. It may still be there the next time you stop in.

    For an seasoned person you may be polite, but you were sure seething while waiting for your winnings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe, but more likely to be there at Orb K, where they never sweep.

      We all know that Val is not a rainbows and unicorn gal, spreading goodwill through convenience stores like Johnny Appleseed spreading tasty fruit. No. I can smile with my teeth, and say "Thank you" without wavering. But my cold, cold heart is hardened against people who thwart my desires.

      That gal reminded me of past co-workers in a Public Service Employee Standoff, deliberately dilly-dallying to get out of more work. The reminder about cleaning the bathroom added fuel to my internal smolder.

      Delete
  3. Pennies are known to breed.

    Recently there were a few times when a young teen opened or held open the door for me. He was raised right.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Congratulations on your door-hold. Perhaps there is hope after the Millennial generation.

      Delete
  4. Holes in the floor of Heaven? No wonder you keep finding pennies. Your mum is dropping them through for you.
    I think you are within your rights to inform that checker that winnings are not to be announced out loud.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The "coincidence" of the song and the single penny on Friday was not lost on me.

      I don't really care if a clerk announces my winnings. It's the extra time she took to do it. Others just scan the tickets and tell me a total, or don't. She used time I might have had to nab that penny!

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. Heh, heh! Yes, it's better than being CENTSless.

      Delete
  6. All right, I've teased you about your CENTSless search before but today I'm going to be kind. Once you win the MegaMillions jackpot, book a flight to Liverpool, in the U.K. Once there, go to Penny Lane and search til your pockets are full!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's not like I traverse the countryside, SEARCHING for pennies. If I'm meant to find them, I do, and respond by picking them up.

      If I beat the astronomical odds by winning a MegaMillions jackpot, for which I only buy a single ticket, when the amount is so high that it's in the news...I would definitely NOT push Even Steven's buttons by getting on a plane!

      Delete