A 20-Minute Sure Thing (Part 2)

When we last convened, Hick was going under the knife for eyelid thingies at his ophthalmologist's office. His appointment was for 8:05, and I had just returned at 10:00, from a sortie to the credit union for financial business.

Well. I'd read all my reading material in the first 40 minutes of waiting, once they called Hick back for that 20-minute procedure. I should have brought more. Like my hardcover unabridged tome of The Stand, by Stephen King. Without it, I had to be satisfied with people-watching. There was no shortage of material for that! I had two good eyes, and more old folks than a casino on Senior Buffet day! I swear, that office was like a clown car. I swear those people they called back were walking around the building and coming back in the door. Of course I couldn't help overhearing conversations. Old people talk kind of loud. I had tuned them out, until I heard, "I died."

Yeah. That kind of makes you prick up your ears like a Doberman patrolling a lumberyard overnight. Here's the guy's tale.

"I had heart surgery a few years back. I died on the table. My doctor went out to the waiting room to tell my son and wife. That's the sad part. He was out there telling them when the nurse ran out and said, 'We got him back!' I have the most beautiful memory of being dead. I was standing by a big body of water, like a lake or ocean. Water as far as you could see. There was a hand on my shoulder, and I smelled roses. I heard a voice in my ear, and saw a hand wave toward the water. 'Do you know what that is?' It pointed to a black hole across the water. I said no. 'That's heaven.' It was the most peaceful thing I ever saw. I said, 'Let's go!' And he said, 'No. It's not time.' I was kind of upset right at the moment, because I really wanted to go. But I came back. 

For the past four years, I've been really involved in the church. Oh, I'd had religious studies before that. But this really spurred me to get involved more. Sometimes now, if I'm around roses, I get a whiff of that same smell. It's beautiful, and I'm ready to go. I tell people about it, and they think I'm crazy. But I know what I saw. I've heard that when a person is in a coma, they have some strong dreams, and I guess this was one. But I'll never forget it."

Well. What do you say to that? Good thing he wasn't talking to me.

Anyhoo...I waited some more for Hick. It was 10:30. I started to worry that something might have gone wrong. Or maybe he went out the back and forgot to come back in the front! The office gals were talking about it being almost lunch time. One was only having peanut butter and crackers, because the night before, she ate something too spicy, and it still felt like it was in the back of her throat. Huh. She might want to see an otolaryngologist.

At 11:00, Hick came walking out. No bandage. Said his ophthalmologist cut three little growths off his eyelid. With a knife. Hick had originally thought he was going to use a laser. I had asked how he'd keep the laser from injuring Hick's eye if he moved wrong. Because Hick only has ONE, you know. Hick said that it hurt at one point, and he knows that the ophthalmologist knew it hurt, because the ophthalmologist asked if he was okay. He's supposed to put ointment on it four times a day

I told Hick that I thought the 3-hour cataracts were out of that office ahead of HIM! A 20-minute procedure my A$$. Those ophthalmologist probably bill by the hour.