Some days, I feel like a wise old elder, spinning yarns around the campfire about the ways of our people in ancient times. Okay, maybe you should strike the wise part. And aren't all elders old, thus the name elders? I'm starting to sound like my mother talking about somebody having a new baby.
Every year, I get older, and the students get younger. I feel like Charlton Heston as Astronaut Taylor in the original Planet of the Apes, explaining to Dr. Zaius why a human doll found in the rubble has a voice box that says, "Mama."
Today I had to explain the concept of drawing straws.
It was during a scene in the sciency reward movie Deep Impact, when Tea Leoni gives up her seat on the rescue helicopter so Laura Innes and her movie daughter can live. Laura Innes, her ER Dr. Kerry Weaver karma catching up to her, draws the short straw. But selfless long-straw holder Tea, her cutthroat rival cable news anchor, lets Laura whisk her daughter away on the helicopter, rather than sitting on the sixteenth floor in the daycare room awaiting her doom, because her daughter, "...was always happy here."
I suppose nowadays kids do rock/paper/scissors. I've seen them at lunch, determining who takes back a stack of eight trays. And it's not like there would be any straws in a cafeteria. Are you kidding me? It's not like when you and I were in kindergarten, and they gave us those white paper straws to sip our half-pint of Foremost milk in the orange and white carton. Yeah. I know you're kidding me. Because now we don't have Foremost milk. We don't even have white milk. We have 1 percent chocolate or 1 percent strawberry milk. I doubt kids even know that milk comes out of a cow unflavored. I doubt kids even know that milk comes out of a cow.
Excuse me. I need to find more logs to stoke my fire.