Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Now It's a Daughter Blog!

Oh, dear. Yesterday I cut short the morning check-in phone call with my mother because I was driving and needed both hands and most of my wits about me. In doing so, I did not allow Mom to traipse down two sets of stairs and read her shopping list to me. I even cut off her verbal recollection of needing slaw...and whatever else might have been on that list. I called her again last night to make things right. Mom told me about her day.

"Did you know that your sister came out?"


"She brought me your niece's garage door opener. Just in case I need to get in."

"Niecy has a garage? I thought she lived in an apartment over by Sonic."

"Oh, not Niecy's garage. Your sister's garage. Niecy still has a garage door opener for when she goes over. You know they never use the front door. Since I'm checking on the house while they're gone, she wanted me to have the garage door opener. I have a key to the house. I don't know WHY she wants me to have the garage door opener. I guess she thinks I'll set off the alarm. I only did that once. Then that other time the refrigerator went bad and the house stunk. And one time their dog got loose. Something always happens when she goes away. I think she might blame me."

"Yet she still wants you to take care of her stuff."

"Yes. She hasn't quit asking me. I don't mind. It gives me something to do every morning and evening."

Mom went on to tell me about her trip to the store. This time she didn't tell me every person she ran into and caught up with. That's usually good for a half hour. No, this time, the main event of the town trip was...


I take full responsibility. One does not distract my mother from her mission. Now she has to go back to the store tomorrow. For her slaw. Shame on me. I won't be getting $8.00 again any time soon. That's for sure. Mom just called to ask if I was going to call her later tonight. That usually happens between 10:00 and 11:00. However...Mom said she has been working hard all day, and she might just fall asleep early, and sleep right through until morning. You don't have to hit me over the head with a pint of slaw. I could tell what she was getting at.

"Okay. I won't call later."

"Well, you can. It won't bother me if you want to talk. But I just wanted to let you know, in case you DIDN'T call tonight, that I'm getting out early in the morning to get my slaw. Around 7:30, probably. So in case you try to call me, I don't want you to worry that something's wrong. I'll be at the store."

"I probably won't even be up then." Ever since school has been out, I have not made my morning call until at least 9:00. But, you know, sure as Mom is away from her land line, I could call, and then get all worried, and be unable to reach her, because she doesn't hear her cell phone buried down in her purse while driving and in the store, and my sister the ex-mayor's wife is going to Vegas, and I won't be able to reach her to ask if she knows where Mom is, because you know how cell phones can't call each other with all that land between Missouri and Nevada in the way of their signal.

"I just wanted you to know so you wouldn't worry."

"Okay, Mom. I'll check in with you later in the morning. To see if you got your slaw."

"All right. I'll let you go now. I'm sure you're in the middle of something. I hope you have a good night."

The invasion of Normandy did not require as much attention to detail as my mother's five-mile trip to Walmart to buy slaw.


  1. Val--Well, I hope you give us an update on this story tomorrow.

    DID SHE GET THE SLAW? I hate to yell, but I have worked myself into a frenzy, worrying over your mother's need for cabbage-y dishes.

    Well, did she?

  2. THis is so funny!!

    And yet, I miss my mom.

  3. That must be some pretty good slaw!

  4. My concern is, she will buy the slaw forgetting that she ate the last sausage Or she saved it too long and it has gone bad.

  5. Love these family stories.
    But why is it that I now have this craving for slaw?

  6. Sioux,
    SHE GOT THE SLAW! Don't worry. She did not go one day without slaw. She had some that she used up yesterday, and then she got more this morning. She did not go through slaw withdrawal.

    Sorry you miss your mom. If mine knew, she would do her best to entertain you deliberately.

    I know, right? She's obsessed with the stuff! In case you're looking for some good slaw, you'll have to find a Walmart, and seek out the plastic containers in their deli section. But the best slaw ever comes from Captain D's, with the second-best being that served at Red Lobster with fresh-ground pepper added at the table. Here in Missouri, anyway. I have a sneaking suspicion that we are not the Slaw Capital of the United States.

    She knows she ate the last sausage. She even commented, "Those sausages you brought me were really good!" I did not tell her there's one left, because I fear it has outlived its freshness. However...Mom declared that now she has slaw, and that my sister gave her a pot of chicken-and-noodles, so she has something to go with her slaw. Apparently, slaw is her go-to side dish.

    I suppose your craving could be due to the subliminal slaw-pushing agenda that I have here on my blog.