Wednesday, May 1, 2013

The Somewhat Monthly Affirmation, With Val Thevictorian

I am rushed for time today, and have no idea what I'm going to write about. I make it a policy not to skip a day of blogging, no matter what I might tease out of my fingertips onto the screen. In lieu of a hearty, meat-and-potatoes post that will stick to your ribs, I offer a single spoonful of frothy broth. My somewhat monthly writer's affirmation.

Here's how it goes. I sit down in front of the computer, wipe away the layer of dust on the monitor, admire my faint reflection, and recite my motivation to keep churning out word pollution every single day.

"I'm workmanlike enough, I'm reasonably smart enough, what with my valedictorianship from a small Missouri high school, and doggone it, people tolerate me."

If that's not enough to get a writer's blood flowing like damaged cartridge of ink, I don't know what is.


  1. At least you've gotten your monthly affirmation over early in the month so now you're good to go.

  2. LOL! Good old Stuart. I forgot about him.

    If it is any consolation I think we are all just tolerating one another. Just yesterday I was tolerating my husband. Now I love him again. Fickle me.

  3. That spoonful of frothy broth left a film on my mouth. Since I am SUCH the genteel lady, let me step aside and dab at my mouth with my lacy handkerchief...

  4. And we tolerate you daily!

  5. Short and to the point. I admire your tenacity to blog every day.

  6. Stephen,
    That's right. So you'd better get comfortable. No more short, to-the-point postings for 30 more days.

    A good toilet-brush/razor faux pas does wonders for domestic tolerance, I've found.

    Well, Madam, I'm surprised you didn't simply hawk up a frothy broth film hairball and expel it onto the primrose path. To hold it in invites an unwanted bout of The Vapors.

    To borrow the best-remembered, yet factually inaccurate phrase of Sally Field upon winning an Academy Award..."You tolerate me! You really tolerate me!"

    But I don't WANT to be short and to the point! One might as well read a Reuter's news release if one wants brevity and succinctness. I strive to be a self-indulgent tabloid that one hides under boxes of feminine hygiene products, condoms, Preparation H, a case of Milwaukee's Best, Kwell shampoo, adult diapers, and Compound W on the checkout line conveyor belt.

    Because even though there's a market for me, I'm just THAT embarrassing.