Well, this is embarrassing. I don't seem to have a topic to complain about this evening. I'll just have to toss out some subjects for you to discuss amongst yourselves. Don't worry if you're not up to snuff on current events. Since when have you ever known Val to expound upon cutting-edge devices or hot topics? You there, with your hand up...it was a rhetorical question.
We can't all sit around like Donald Sutherland and Pinto and Boone and Katy, pondering whether our whole solar system could be, like, one tiny atom in the fingernail of some giant being. Check your place cards. I'm having a dinner party. Sioux, you and your fireman friend can sit at the little table over there by the balcony and share a plate. There are a finite number of slices of Veal Prince Orloff, you know.
Here are some icebreakers to get the conversation flowing:
Isn't that Ford Pinto a cute little car?
Which fragrance is more appealing: Jontue, Wind Song, or Vanderbilt
Do earth shoes go with wide flare chambray jeans?
It is okay to go straight from work to the disco in my burnt-orange leisure suit?
Which is more thirst-quenching, TAB or FRESCA?
Who did you bet on, Billie Jean King or Bobby Riggs?
Is Evel Knievel going to make it across the Snake River Canyon?
What's the weather tomorrow--should I wear my boyfriend's CPO, or my maxi coat?
Does your dog prefer Gaines Burgers or Gravy Train?
Anybody want to go outside and play some Jarts?
Are Clackers a good gift for a five-year-old, or should I just get him a Pet Rock?
Can you wear a mood ring while you're streaking?
Hey, has anybody seen The Exorcist, or did you just stay home and watch All in the Family?
Anybody want to come over later for some Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill and Jiffy Pop?
What's a good brand of CB to put in my conversion van?
There. That should keep you busy. I'll just step out to the kitchen and put the finishing touches on the meal. If you need anything, let me know. I SO love to throw a dinner party.