Friday, June 12, 2020

How Much Havoc Could a Pony Pony-Up, If a Pony Could Pony-Up Havoc?

As you may recall, The Pony has been re-stabled in Backroads. We have had a few incidents of carnage that bear his hoofprints. I mentioned them in several posts on my supersecret blog, but the faux pas eliciting the most disaproVAL is revealed here.  

The Pony killed the La-Z-Boy.

Anyhoo... you can go read about the incident at your leisure. Let's just say, in lieu of a clue: The Pony, in the living room, with his butt.

That's why we spent last Saturday at the furniture store. Shopping for a new recliner. Specs were: mechanical (not power), rocker, tall enough to arise from comfortably, wide enough for Val's ample rumpus, dark color. That's not too persnickety.

I found one right away, but Hick could not stomach plopping his dainty rumpus upon it, due to the upholstery being a camouflage pattern! Sheesh! Who knew Hick was such an elitist? Not this ol' Val. I didn't care much about the coloring. It was last on my list for a reason. But Hick said no. Also, he said it was too deep. Like from rumpus to knee-bend. Like my newest office rolly chair. So I moved on.

We had a decent selection.

That's the first four rows, which were allegedly the mechanical recliners. There are five or six rows out of frame to the left, which are power recliners. Meaning they plug into the wall and you push a button to recline and cline. Not what we were looking for. I think they even had some OPCs (Old People Chairs) in the lot.

Anyhoo... if you zoom in on that busy scene, and think you see Hick... you don't. Just a guy who looks like him. Hick was behind me, in the public restroom when I took the photo. Then he went to get some free soda, which he declared was NOT GOOD. Maybe he needed some of the free popcorn so he had something to wash down with it.

Anyhoo... we picked out our new recliner. Not a La-Z-Boy.

Not the most expensive, not the least. We were ready to take the floor model, but the young salesman said it was coded so that he couldn't let us take it. That they didn't want to run low on their floor inventory. Huh. Looks like they already DID, from the half-rows in the big picture.

The young salesman said he was expecting a truck in soon. Maybe this week, maybe next, and his records showed this model was on board. Since we didn't want to drive all over Backroads sitting down and getting up from assorted recliners, we said that was fine. Put us down for the next arrival.

Hick said he would pick it up if they would help him load it. So off went the young salesman to see if he could get us a deal. We probably could have done better if we haggled, but the price came down about $100 by Hick's cash-and-carry deal. He paid 20% down, and now we await THE CALL.

Hick and The Pony continue to sit in the La-Z-Boy, even though it has no middle support due to a broken spring, which Hick compares to sitting on a toilet seat. Oh, and it pinches their butt when they get up.

I have been sitting on the coffee table, using HIPPIE on a TV tray at the front living room window. No pinching for Val's ample rumpus!


  1. Will The Pony be allowed to sit on the new chair? (Maybe his name should be "Butter Boy" from now on.) After all, he seems to wreaking havoc wherever he goes...

    1. We could put up a sign at the new chair, "Nobody Under the Age of 25, or Over the Age of 20, Allowed." See what I did there? So The Pony won't think HE is the one specifically being banned...

      I might also put that sign on the tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

  2. "too deep from rumpus to knee-bend" I have that trouble ALL THE TIME! Because I'm short and in the last twenty or so years ALL chairs have been made too deep. I've learned to live with a cushion permanently against the back of almost any chair I sit in, at home at least.
    I really like your new chair choice, it looks so comfy and stylish.

    1. I need to look for a big tall pillow for my newest office rolly chair.

      This new recliner is just right for us. Of course it will take getting used to. I hate change!