It all started with the mirror. The passenger side mirror on T-Hoe, that Hick suddenly decided to take a look at on Tuesday, after ignoring the problem for a month. No, he hasn't followed through yet. He's only deduced the mechanism of the malfunction. But it's a start!
Wednesday, I had to sit Hick down for a little talk. Okay. He was already sitting down. I'd brought home a fast-food lunch for him, because he was busy power-washing the end porch and half of the front porch and the pew. This power-wash and stain routine is his current project. So that activity was not surprising. However...
Tuesday night, I heard Hick taking a shower over my head. He in the master bathroom, me in my dark basement lair. It seemed like Hick's shower lasted a long time. Longer than The Pony's hour showers. Surely he was getting all pruny. How dirty can one man really get? But who am I to question another person's hygiene? I gradually forgot about it, until I went upstairs to bed, and saw what he'd been up to. Not that I sleep in the master bathroom, of course.
HICK HAD CLEANED THE SHOWER!
Seriously! Scrubbed it from top to bottom, and even cleaned the doors! A big heavy adjustable wrench was laying on the sink, that he used to tighten the shower head so it didn't flop any more. Which he'd also soaked so the spray came out each tiny hole again, I discovered the next morning.
He later declared that since he'd put in the light bulb in the ceiling fan/light (that had been burned out for at least 6 months), he saw that the shower needed cleaning. I guess that light shined all the way out the bathroom door, took a left, went through the living room, took a right, and shone on the faucet of the kitchen sink. Because Hick screwed the end off the faucet thingy and soaked it in vinegar so the water now runs straight, and doesn't spray like a well-maintained shower head.
AND, when I entered the kitchen around 1:45 on Wednesday with Hick's Hardee's 1/3 Pound Cheeseburger meal...
MY KITCHEN HAD NEW LIGHTS!
It's true! THREE new bulbs in the ceiling light over the cutting block. I'm pretty sure they're LED lights. I could SEE like I was in a modern-day kitchen, not in a smoky stone age cave. So I sat down on the short couch for a chat, while Hick was having his lunch in the La-Z-Boy.
"Are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"Well, you've really been getting things done around the house. Like you don't have much time left. Like it's a mission you have to accomplish. Is there anything you need to tell me? About your health?"
"No. I'm fine."
Hick may be fine, but I'm a nervous wreck, waiting for the other shoe to drop. At least he hasn't done any more about T-Hoe's mirror. I take small comfort in that.
My honey installed new lights as well. Now I get sunburned if I spend too much time in the kitchen. Maybe you should leave a Honey DO list laying around.
ReplyDeleteThat might break the spell he's currently under! Right now, it's good enough that Hick has suddenly remembered the items I've harped about for months.
DeleteOnce you pull out the wrench you just gotta do all the jobs that need a wrench, same with the vinegar, might as well de-calcify all the nozzles in the house.
ReplyDeleteWhen you put it that way, Hick seem logical. It's like you're his PR rep, repairing his public image!
DeleteUh-Oh, I smell alien imposter. Have you noticed any alien spaceships hovering nearby? Could they have scooped up Hick and replaced him with the upgraded model? Maybe while you were out getting your magical elixir or down in your basement lair.
ReplyDeleteHick DOES spend large amounts of time unattended. So I can't rule that out completely.
DeleteI keep telling you to send Hick to my house. You are so selfish.
ReplyDeleteShame on me, keeping Hick all to myself! He's actually very handy, for other people. Maybe his demand has slowed down outside the house, and he's just keeping his skills sharp for neighbors, buddies, and storage unit pals.
DeleteI would be suspicious, as well! My nagging usually takes a long while before he tackles a job. I miss my wife! Kevin will still have good days from time to time and will accomplish small tasks that have been waiting for HeWho to get around to, but those days are getting fewer.
ReplyDeleteSorry about Kevin. His efficiency would make HeWho's lack of it even more obvious.
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