Val Can't Catch a Brake

You'd think an 11-year-old Tahoe would be more reliable.

Val doesn't ask for much. Just a daily trip to town for her 44 oz Diet Coke and scratcher tickets. With Hick gone momentarily in A-Cad, Val depends on T-Hoe for her ride. Okay. Val depends on T-Hoe, even when A-Cad is parked beside him in the garage. T-Hoe has his minor malfunctions, but is generally dependable.

Thursday, I parked at the end of the gravel road while I got the mail and looked it over. I do this every day that there's mail delivery, as I head to town. Thursday, I turned off T-Hoe to open two bills, checking the due dates to see if I should write them out there to mail in town, or if they could wait until I got back home, to be mailed the next day. They were waitable.

I started up T-Hoe, and tooled along the county blacktop road for two miles. Then I got on the county lettered highway for the remaining two miles to town. I was almost to the prison when

DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING!

assaulted my ears. What in the NOT-HEAVEN???

I felt a surge of adrenaline as I rapidly assessed T-Hoe's condition. He was still rolling along at 55 mph, air conditioner running, radio playing, power steering operational, gauges in normal range. Oh! There on the dashboard! A red BRAKE, alternating with the phrase TRACTION CONTROL OFF. As I was looking at that, it went off, and on the left side of the panel, a yellow triangle with a skidding car appeared.

There was nowhere to pull over (not turning into the prison complex, thank you). I made sure to coast down to a low speed before trying the brakes for my left turn at the next road. They worked just fine. Once in town, I called Hick. Who was having breakfast (at 1:00 my time) with his brother in Nevada.

According to Hick, when the traction control is off, I still have brakes on at least two wheels. I just don't have the traction control to switch my braking to another wheel if one of the four is on a slippery surface. So I might go into a skid. Hick's advice?

"Just don't slam on your brakes."

Don't get me started! AS IF every time I slam on the brakes, I have planned that in advance! Or like I do it as my main method of stopping! Seriously! The only reason I'd slam on the brakes is if something unpredictable happened to necessitate it. Like another car coming into my path. Or a living creature.

Hick also suggested that I could drive T-Hoe to Mick the Mechanic, say who I was (heh, heh, 'Don't you know who I AM?'), and have him take a look. Again, no thank you. That's just so awkward, to ask for Mick in person, take him away from what he's doing to look at T-Hoe, then more awkwardness of asking what to pay him, or making a decision on what work might need to be done, and then waiting for it to be performed, or making an appointment for it, at which time I would have to hang around for hours, or ride back home with a stranger dropping me off.

No. Thank. You.

Good thing I didn't take T-Hoe to Mick the Mechanic. I stopped for gas, and when I started T-Hoe up again afterwards, the light was off! No red light, no yellow triangle!

I'm not upset with T-Hoe. He has served me well. Hick, on the other hand... has been told over and over again about things not working properly on T-Hoe. At which time he suggests things it might be, but does not take T-Hoe apart, nor take him for repairs.

Don't suggest that I TAKE T-HOE FOR REPAIRS! I don't understand stuff like that. They'll see me coming a mile away, and probably offer to change the air in my tires, or replace my blinker fluid, and give me a special deal of only $1000 if I do both. SHEESH! That would be like expecting Hick to be able to put a pizza from the Walmart deli in FRIG II when he carries it in from the car.