Sunday morning, Hick got up later than usual, and went to his Storage Unit Store, where he sat out front and didn't carry out all his merchandise. He still made $20, so I guess it was a good couple of hours for him.
Hick came home while I was in town. So the first time I actually laid eyes on him after his trip, he was kicked back in the La-Z-Boy around 2:00 in the afternoon, watching a NASCAR race with his eyes closed. Of course my plan was to sit down on the short couch and have a chat about his trip. There was one problem.
HICK HAD BOOBY-TRAPPED MY SEAT!
He knows that's where I always sit when he's in the La-Z-Boy! On the end of the short couch closest to him. Right where my head would be leaning back, Hick had set up a harpoon to skewer my skull!
Look at that! He might as well have gone full camouflage in his effort to pierce my brain.
Seriously. Hick had the entire length of the short-couch back to set down his hooky hat. But no. He had to place it right where my noggin would be leaning. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd taken careful measurements and used trigonometry to calculate the most lethal position of his weapon.
I'm pretty sure Hick is trying to kill me.
When he leaves a trail of pennies leading to a cliff, you will know for sure.
ReplyDeleteOh, no! Hick collects his pennies! He has half a giant plastic Coke bottle full. He's been premeditating all these years!
DeleteOnly solution is to booby trap his recliner. Lots of options, but I am sure you can come up with some.
ReplyDeleteHe almost garbaged himself to death one time when he left a banana peel stuffed down in the cushions. Silly me. I removed it.
DeleteKnock it off the back onto the floor and when he asks where it is you say "what cap?"
ReplyDeleteThat would be easy, but he'd probably step on it and get that fish hook in his foot. Sure, it might lead to a slow, lingering death by infection, but I'd have to tend to him until he croaked.
DeleteMaybe he wants to pick your brain? I'm with Joeh on this one.
ReplyDeleteHeh, heh. I'm not taking the bait.
DeletePennies on a cliff I like that one. I wonder what Agatha Christie would say?
ReplyDeleteI wonder what Jessica Fletcher would say!
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