Hick and I have no holiday plans. He's been hawking his merchandise at his Storage Unit Store all weekend, and sees no reason to stop on Monday. He came up with the great idea to use his new grill for hamburgers and bratwursts on Monday evening. I'm kicking in some homemade potato salad and beans.
Perhaps I've neglected to mention our new grill. Gassy G went to live on a farm somewhere (with one of Hick's storage unit buddies), since he was no longer able to get fired up. Our new grill is Gassy G-Lite. He's half the size of his predecessor, but really all we need. Besides, he arrived new in the box, and not in the back of the truck, fresh from the auction.
Hick's interest in grilling might have been spurred by the smell of our neighbors. The dogs were going crazy after Hick left for the auction Saturday night, so I stuck my head out the front door. The humid air was redolent with the scent of smoky meat. Mmm. My nose left my mouth disappointed.
The neighbor down by Hick and Buddy's Badly Blacktopped Hill was having a shindig. I'd seen about 10 cars there when I came home from town. Assorted folks leaning on the back of a pickup, sipping adult beverages. There was also a big commercial truck with a man-lift bucket, painted with a sign company logo. I assume when they got good and likkered-up, somebody was going up on the barn roof to replace some bent tin.
As with most shindigs out here, the guests were having a blast riding assorted off-road vehicles. The blue chest cooler bungee-ed to the front of a four-wheeler was a nice touch. All Hick ever put on ours was a milk crate (bigger than the one he nailed to the front of the house that Christmas for UPS). Anyhoo...the constant ORV traffic was getting the dogs excited, because neighbor dogs were running along with them. I was more excited by the smell of that barbecue.
In other news, Hick says The Veteran wants to rent our for-sale camper trailer for next weekend.
"Why would he want to do that? Maybe he thinks you'll just offer to let him use it."
"Well, he asked to RENT it, so I'm looking up the going rate for renting a camper that size."
"How many people are going?"
"I don't know."
"Will he bring it back clean enough for your satisfaction? You spent months cleaning it. At least that was your excuse for not having it up there on the lot to sell before summer was mostly over."
"Yeah. I'm sure he'll clean it. Or I'll tell him to!"
"I guess it doesn't really matter. It's insured, right?"
"Yeah. We have insurance on the camper."
"So the worst that could happen, if it gets crushed, is that we get our money out of it without selling it. I don't see any problem in renting it to him for the weekend. It won't cost us anything. But you give me the money! I'll put it in the camper fund while we're waiting for it to sell."
"I'll give you the money, Val."
You can't be too careful giving Hick specific instructions with regard to money.
Hick should have learned about you by now. Good job.
ReplyDeleteHick's first awakening was many years ago, when we stopped to pick up our mail. He got out for it, and I noticed he was stuffing something in his back pocket.
Delete"What was that?"
"What was what?"
This interrogation continued up the mile of gravel road until we got home. Hick finally admitted he put a piece of mail in his pocket, and handed it to me. It was a reimbursement check from our homeowner's insurance. I don't even remember what for, or the exact amount. Somewhere under $100, but more than $50.
Like I used to tell my students, "I'm not as dumb as you want me to be."
How much could a person mess up a camper...Oh wait, coolers strapped on to an ATV? This ain't Jersey is it?
ReplyDeleteBTW, You are the Queen of the blog post title!
Hick has high standards. The camper looked clean to me when we got it, but Hick took apart the stove and cleaned it more, and mopped and swept the (fake) wood floor that looked fine.
DeleteAt least Jersey is not known for milk crates strapped on their ATVs, or nailed to the wall beside the front door.
You know I LOVE to make up titles!
Buddy's badly blacktopped hill...lol! You have a knack for creative writing, and it makes me chuckle. Your nose left your mouth disappointed. What a line!
ReplyDeleteI am fortunate to have great raw material, practically begging to be molded into my twisted creations.
DeleteMy own nose had a similar teaser this morning when walking past another block of units I smelled someone frying some sort of meat. And when I go to visit my daughter I frequently smell sweet fragrances from the nearby biscuit (cookie) factory.
ReplyDeleteMmm...fried meat and cookies! The grilled burgers smell great when I drive by Burger King, but I'm already past by then, so it keeps me from indulging.
DeleteSon in law grilled steak this weekend and it was delicious, keep track of Hick, he will fool you one of these days.
ReplyDeleteOld habits die hard. He sees OUR money as HIS money. Same with the property. He's always saying MY barn, and MY land, and MY Freight Container Garage.
DeleteI don't really begrudge him this attitude. He had virtually nothing when he was a kid, with a mom in the hospital a lot, and a blind dad. He's always been a go-getter, working a steady job, and making side money. Still, I need to hold him accountable, or it could get out of control.
I smell lots of good things on holiday weekends. But HeWho fancies himself to be the master at the grill uses too much lighter fluid (he swears by charcoal) and I may have eaten too many of his meals tainted with the taste of lighter fluid. My wife, Kevin, on the other hand is quite handy as a cook. Meats, just meats. He thinks a can of pork and beans and a box of mac and cheese are dandy sides. I like to doctor the beans and make my mac and cheese from scratch.
ReplyDeleteHick has two Coleman kettle grills. He used to swear by them, until he got Gassy G at the auction. He occasionally used too much lighter fluid, if he was rushing things.
DeleteHick is a great griller. He grills rings around my dad, who charred everything, including burgers, not just the hot dogs and edges of pork steaks that are good when charred.
I've never made my own mac and cheese. Not that ambitious. I DO like my own potato salad. I also like the beans baked with bacon and extra bbq sauce and onions, until they're almost desert-dry. It's an acquired taste. I usually just heat them in the pan, and add diced onions, if it's only for me and Hick.