No Wealth For the Wicked

Sometimes, Val just needs to stay home. Like Saturday.

I had the beginnings of a headache mid-morning, but no plans to do anything. I figured I'd just get my 44 oz Diet Coke and lounge around my lair. Hick was at his Storage Unit Store (made $59) when a text came in from the Ex-Mayor. He and his wife my sister were planning a casino trip within the hour. Did we want to meet them?

Hick said he could be home by noon-thirty, so plans were to meet up with Sis and Ex-Mayor at our old favorite casino for a burger. I gathered my gambling paraphernalia and we hit the road at 12:37. I must admit that lunch was good. It was, in fact, the high point of Val's day. So that's saying something.

My burger was done JUST RIGHT! I ordered it medium, and it came out kind of rare. But that's fine, because it was tasty, not a dried-out disappointment. I credit the other not-much-English-speaking worker who took the order this time, rather than the one who always scams my MyCash without permission. I also think they're making those burgers bigger again! Like old times. I must confess, I stuffed down every morsel. Though I DID leave some fries behind.

Across from me was the Ex-Mayor's Italian sausage and onion rings, but I didn't fit them into the picture. He scraped the peppers off anyway. Seriously. I don't know what's wrong with my associates! Hick and my favorite gambling aunt, on separate occasions, have also wiped their sausage clean, and bemoaned the peppers. It tells you right on the menu that an Italian sausage comes with onions and peppers! Who doesn't know that?

Hick had a burger with pepperjack cheese and all the fixin's, with fries. Sis had a bowl of chili and a burger with ONLY cheddar cheese. Of course we all had free sodas from the soda fountain. We paid with my $10 food comp, and Hick's MyCash! Ex-Mayor paid with his food comp and MyCash. So it was all virtually free. During lunch, Ex-Mayor told us how he'd been winning on a bank of slots that were linked, and the goal (according to him) was to play as fast as you could to hit one of the jackpots. He described where they were, even pointed, on the other side of the casino, along the wall.

By the time we were done eating, I had two hours of gambling time. That casino is smoky and loud, and my almost-headache was creeping nearer. I found a couple games to play, because the ones I was headed to were usurped by others when I was mere steps away. So I took over the games THEY had been playing. I can't remember a time when the odds were more stacked against me!

I hadn't lost much during my first hour, because I wasted so much time trying to log into the player's card thingy to get my free play. I swear they fix those things to get you right up to the point of your PIN, then the screen locks up. THEN I got a text from Ex-Mayor, showing a jackpot he hit, then another shortly thereafter, telling me he was at those dollar machines. I said I might work my way back there. It's not like I was having any luck on anything else.

Well. I must have spent 15 minutes walking around that casino, down the entire wall where he'd pointed out those machines, and could not find him. I found Hick. And I found Sis. But not the one I was looking for, who had given me specific directions. Turns out he was on the OTHER SIDE of the casino, at completely different slots! Which I discovered when he found ME, saying I wasn't where I said I'd be!

Anyhoo...I was quite ready to leave after two hours. That's unheard-of for Val. Even more unheard-of, I still had MONEY IN MY GAMBLING PURSE that I didn't even want to wager! I'd played all that time without winning anything other than $19 on a line hit on Fu Dao Le, and $12 on a Buffalo Stampede jackpot. That's RIDICULOUS! Val know her way around a casino, my friends, and this is totally unacceptable. I'm not throwing away more of my good money when I've been getting NOTHING in return! I couldn't even double my money, which I always cash out. I left there without cashing out a single ticket! I don't think that has EVER happened before! It's not like I fed it all into one machine. I played at least 10 different slots, all with equally dismal results.

At least Sis and Ex-Mayor were doing okay. When we left, anyway. Hick and I both agree that we prefer the Shady Buffet Casino over this one. We will drive farther, and eat less, because at least at that one, we have fun playing, with little wins here and there to keep us going.

Good thing I won $75 on a $5 scratcher on Friday!