Finding Out the Hard Way

Last Tuesday, Val and Hick and Sis and Ex-Mayor hit the road for a little casino action. We had a limited time frame for this trip. It's really hard to coordinate our schedules, what with Hick's Storage Unit Store and auctions, Sis's days devoted to watching Babe, and Ex-Mayor sitting on the boards of several municipal entities. Val? Oh, my calendar is open! I can go to the casino any day, any time!

Normally, we go on Mondays. That's a Babe day. However, due to snow remainders, Sis was off Babe duty, since Niecy was off school and could keep Babe at home. Since Hick never plans anything, he sprung the casino idea on me by text while I was sleeping. We live in the Backroads Triangle of Text Transmissions. So I had been up and washing dishes for a while when Hick came home.

"I sent you a text. Do you want to go to the casino today?"

"I didn't see one. I'm nowhere near ready. I'm finishing these dishes, then I still have to take a shower."

Once my hands were out of the soapy water, I checked my phone, and saw that the text had arrived. Had I seen it earlier, I would have been ready. As it was, I called Sis to see if they wanted to go.

"Well. If you had called me only 15 minutes earlier, I'd say yes. But now I have two pots of beans boiling, so I have to finish them. It would be at least 2-and-a-half hours before we'd be ready."

"That's a little late. We wouldn't even get there until 4:00."

"Yeah. If I'd only known earlier, before I put these beans on..."

That's how it goes. I told Hick I'd rather put it off until Tuesday, which would interfere with his auction night. He said that was okay. So we picked up Sis and Ex-Mayor Tuesday at 10:00, with a plan to be home by 6:00 for one of Ex-Mayor's meetings. We knew the casino buffet wasn't open on Mondays or Tuesdays.

Tuesday's comp was a wheel spin after playing a specified number of points. I won a $30 food credit! That was the best thing on the board. Ex-Mayor was standing there with me, and he won a 20x multiplier for his points earned that day. He wasn't really happy about it. Sis and Hick didn't have enough points to play yet, when we went to lunch.

Lunch was at a grill inside the casino that we'd never tried, since all previous trips were on days the buffet was open. Sis, Ex-Mayor, and I all had the Garbage Nachos. Sis with only cheese and meat, Ex-Mayor without black olives, and mine without jalapenos or guacamole. We got a giant pile of homemade chips, with a little topping. They conveniently forgot the sour cream and salsa for ALL THREE OF US. So Sis asked the lady who brought them out, and she went back for some little plastic containers about half full. I thought the chips tasted stale, but I didn't want to say anything. Sis later said she thought they were off, but maybe it was because they were homemade. Hick had a mushroom swiss burger, which he declared delicious.

When they spun the wheel later, Sis got a 12x multiplier for her points, and Hick won A $30 FOOD CREDIT! It was only good until the following Tuesday. So we went back on Thursday, the only day available, due to auctions and the weather forecast, just me and Hick. Again, he sprung it on me out of the blue. I figured we would have the buffet. Mmm...I was looking forward to their fried chicken, and Hick always gets a ribeye, cooked to order. We just jumped in the car and went, not extending the offer to Sis and Ex-Mayor, going out the back way from our house, rather than going to town to pick them up.

I had not eaten anything, so on the way I asked Hick if we'd be having lunch, which is from 11:00 to 2:00, or supper, which starts at 4:00. Our ETA was 1:00. Hick was difficult to pin down. That man purely hates to make any kind of decision. I explained that if we weren't eating until 4:00, I'd open up the little pack of peanut butter crackers I'd brought along. But if we were going straight to the buffet, I wouldn't bother. Hick decided we would eat first, and then start home when our money ran out. Heh, heh. Not even a pretense of when we hit a jackpot.

Anyhoo... we walked into the lobby, and saw a makeshift wall in front of the buffet. Figuring it was just there until it opened up, we walked across and read their posterlike sign, which declared the hours on Thursday started at 4:00. Well. That meant I had three more hours to wait for my first morsel of the day. Still, we were at the casino! So I figured I'd just go hungry for a while longer.

We gambled, not winning, but getting enough back to have fun, and met up front at 4:15. That's because I thought everybody in there would rush up to get in line shortly before 4:00. That's what usually happens, and I hate standing in line until the backlog is cleared up, when I could be sitting on my ample rumpus and losing more money.

There was no line! Probably because that wall was still up! Yet the sign clearly said they would open at 4:00. So we walked back to the casino entrance, and Hick asked the dude stationed there to check IDs of the young whippersnappers. Dude said the buffet was closed. FOREVER! Ain't THAT a fine how-do-you-do? Dude could have told us that earlier, when we first got there, and he saw us reading the sign.

In fact, I'm pretty sure that dang casino should put up a sign that plainly says BUFFET CLOSED FOREVER. They could have clearly put up the information, and we'd have seen it on Tuesday. I even check their website every time before we go, to see the comps that day, and NOWHERE on the website does it mention that the buffet is CLOSED FOREVER. In fact, it still lists the hours of the buffet, and promotes it as one of their restaurants. [I just checked the website on Sunday, and now there is no mention that a buffet ever existed. Way to ruin my pre-scheduled blog post, too, you shady casino buffet!]

That's not fair! They got us hooked the first time we went, when they gave OLD PEOPLE a FREE BUFFET for signing up for a player's card. Then they dropped the free buffet after a certain amount of points on Old People's Day, and only gave a $10 food credit. Still, we were hooked. Then they closed the buffet on Mondays and Tuesdays, yet still we came, on other days, so we could have the buffet, and paid full price. To ditch the buffet completely is a cryin' shame. All us old people were milling around that grill, reminiscing about how good the buffet was.

Yes, Hick and I had to go back to the same grill we ate at two days previously, in order to spend his $30 of free food money. I got the nachos again.

Shockingly enough, they were FRESH this time! Half as many chips, twice as much topping, and the lady STILL forgot the sour cream and salsa. I asked for it, and she brought out the half-full containers. Sheesh! At home, I can use half a jar of salsa! I really had to ration!

Hick had the mushroom swiss burger (it's a double patty) again. He says it's better than the burgers at Burger Brothers at our old favorite casino. He also had a dessert that appeared to be a piece of pound cake with strawberries on top. I had the pre-packaged Grandma's Cookies, brownie flavor. We each added a soda, even though you can carry in the smaller cups of it for free from the casino floor. We had to spend the whole FREE $30, you know.

As it was, we went over by 44 cents. So Hick used the points on his player's card. We STILL would much rather have had the buffet. I'm pretty bitter about its closing. I don't know if the longer drive is worth it, without the buffet. We can go to the old favorite casino with 2/3 the drive time, an hour instead of 90 minutes.

You don't want to trifle with Val and her buffet... she'll lose her money elsewhere.